Sometimes you have to push
Posted on April 14th, 2008 – 10:38 AMBy Josephine Marcotty
First there was swim team — until the day my then eight-year-old daughter pointed out to me that the really fast kids float on top of the water, and the slower ones sink. She was a sinker, she said. Then there was soccer, a sport where the most successful were fast and aggressive. Then there was basketball, a sport that came with a group of friends that took her through highschool. Today my young adult daughter plays friendly soccer and broomball, and sometimes pick-up basketball. What she loves most of all is running distances by herself in the early mornings.
When she was young I worried whether I was doing the right thing by insisting she participate in some kind of physical activity. “Whatever you want,” I’d say. “But something.” Today, I’m glad I pushed her. If I hadn’t, I think she might have avoided sports or regular exercise altogether until it was too late. Parental attitude and involvement is one of the most important reasons why girls do and don’t do sports and other physical activity, according to a new report by the University of Minnesota’s Tucker Center for Research on Girls & Women in Sports.
Do you guide your daughter’s choices about exercise? Do you struggle with finding a balance?
2 Responses to "Sometimes you have to push"
We’re fortunate that our daughter has big brothers. That sounds sexist, but I feel fortunate because her natural inclination is to mimic the boys, which means tee ball, basketball, soccer, ice skating, general running hard all day long. I know lots of families in which son does soccer/baseball and daughter does “dance.” I am not knocking dance - not at all. But does dance (the way it’s taught in community ed to little kids) give a cardio or strength work-out equivalent to running after a soccer ball for an hour? It doesn’t look like it does, but I could be wrong. Also, with the baseball/soccer/et al. often teams will have a practice and two games a week - three guaranteed hour+ workouts - along with all the running and pick-up games kids should be doing around their neighborhoods. It seems like girls’ engaging in athletics dwindle in number after a certain age…
Even in the non-structured activities the boys on our block run after each other/shoot baskets/throw the football all the time - in spring and summer they can be out there for three or four hours after school… till dark. The girls don’t. So yes I think it is important for a parent to demand a certain level of physical activity from their kids.
I did all sorts of sports growing up, including soccer, gymnastics, track & field, swimming, tennis, and yes Claudia, even dance (jazz, tap & ballet). 
To your comment about the cardio differences between dance and other sports, yes, there are many different benefits with each; however, dance class didn’t just consist of an hour of stretching and maybe going over a routine a few times… rather, I had three+ hours of dance after elementary school each day, four days a week (sometimes five), where we’d stretch for a great deal of time, then get into all the movements associated with each genre. You would be amazed at the cardio (and muscular) workouts you receive with dance. And I’m not even talking about hardcore dance programs like kickline… All you’re doing with any type of dance program is moving, which is essentially like a Step class at the gym. Major cardio and muscle-pumping there!
Anyway, my sister had the same experience as I, but we both chose to do our favorite sports once we hit Jr. High and Highschool. We were both every athletic and I could go hours playing a tennis match in sweltering heat without a care in the world. Once I hit college though, I stopped activities all together. My college was a small, yet intensive art school, so we didn’t have a gym or a team of any sort. Two years later, I realized how horribly out of shape and fat I became. The next years up until my age now (26) have been a struggle to regain my former body, or even just my former cardio/stretch abilities… it’s rather depressing sometimes! I have never been able to catch up, due to college being my time-sucker, and now work taking over that position, but I’m trying…
So to put my two cents in about getting girls to participate, I think your way was the best, Josephine. Introduce them young and let them make a choice of which sport (or sports) they want to do; keep it a fun activity for them, rather than a stressful competitive one. And if they make friends in their activities, that will only promote their positive attitude towards group sports later in life. Eventually, they’ll have to choose a favorite or two to pursue in Jr. High/Highschool, as seasonal sports often conflict with each other. (I had to choose tennis over soccer, but don’t regret that decision at all.)
And my one piece of major advice to girls after high school… don’t stop sporting! Do something… even if it’s power-walking or Pilates or Yoga, or something else that takes little time, but has amazing results. Keep up with it, or you will lose all that hard work you’ve been doing since kindergarten!
