This is the best line in Spinal Tap, the Christopher Guest film that helped popularize the mockumentary. It is, if you’ve only recently emerged from some subterranean cavern, what the guitarist says about one of his amplifiers. It is special because “it’s ‘one’ louder.”
Horsepower’s perennial grasp on the consumer marketplace is a bit like that. The mystery applies to daily-driver commuters rather than fun/collector cars driven once in a while, or raced or dragged; with the latter, some hot-shotting around is a part of the joy. But why a high-horse commuter with 400, 500, 600 horsepower? They go to 11, in theory, but they’re never taken anywhere near their limit because you’d be arrested or die or kill someone or all three. The number of people capable of driving a car of that power on the road at top speed in miniscule. Schumacher, McQueen, Bond.
Be fun to hear someone patting the hood of an AMG Mercedes, saying, “It’s got 550 horses.” You could reply, “I have 600 pens in my desk.” He’d look at you as though you were pretty odd, since you could never use that many.
So why? Why can’t we shake horsepower fixation–and will we even now, with TV and web pages proclaiming the end of the world is nigh (and Jennifer Aniston has a new look)?
I’d say it’s because we just can’t picture anything else–horsepower crosses the daydream barrier. Cars going fast, we know. We like. We can name the muscle cars, the great movie car chases, the burnouts we did or witnessed in high school.
Worthwhile attributes don’t translate to good mental imagery. Bonnie and Clyde or Dillinger wouldn’t have become so notorious with highly efficient cars. You could elude police with a fast car, some lead-footing and plain lead. You couldn’t by convincing them you were getting great mileage, polluting less and that on balance, they should let you go.
And of course there’s money. Speed is power is money and money can, in fact, get you anything. You’ll never see handsome young men marrying 80-year-old women on fixed incomes. You will see 80-year-old men marrying women fresh from a swimsuit calendar for reasons only money can explain.
Cars also have the money/power link. Heavy hitter muscle cars have sold for some of the highest prices ever paid for an automobile, even though there’s no difference in build quality between a Hemi ’Cuda and an AMC Hornet station wagon.
As the economy backfires and smokes, it will be interesting to watch where horsepower goes in the next couple years. Will we get more miles for our money, or will cars come with 300 horsepower and a $10,000 rebate? Can stimulus ever match stimulation?