Today Kyndell shares installment #6 of her IVF journey

As the time for my second blood test approached I could feel my chest tightening as I went through my own personal freak-out. I tend to be a cool kitty on the outside, looking at life calmly with a little touch of humor. When it comes down to the moment of truth I get just as worked up as anyone. The chest pains come on any time I’m having anxiety, whether it’s over a big trip, work, or family stuff, I start finding it hard to breath. Little shoots of pain accompany it from time to time, and as soon as the problem is solved, the task was done or we arrived at our destination it mysteriously disappears. Jeff calls it “the bubbles”. He always tells me I have to let the bubbles out or I’ll explode. Well I haven’t blown up yet.

With tight chest and all I headed to the clinic early Wednesday morning for a simple blood test. They checked for HCG (human chorionic gonadoptropin) the pregnancy hormone. During the first trimester this hormone multiplies like crazy. Testing for the hormone took about an hour. So I headed to my first assignment of the day while the nurses figured out the fate of our embryos.

I was happy to hang out at Lakeville South High School busying myself with work. It was good. I couldn’t tell you how the shoot went. I was taking pictures in sort of a haze, nervous about every phone call.

My assignment came and went. I went home not wanting to get the test results at work. The waiting was killing me. The nurse had told me I’d probably know before noon. It was now 2:30pm. Then it finally came. Nurse Deb called and she said she was sorry. The HCG levels weren’t high enough. No pregnancy. Damn! I thanked her asked her a few questions about what happens next. She told me I had four embryos still frozen and the next IVF cycle starts in August.

I hang up with Deb and turn on the TV. Television always calms me. King of the Hill happened to be on. It’s the episode where Hank and Peggy after trying to have a second kid found out she wasn’t pregnant. Funny how that works.  I called Jeff and called the family and texted friends.

 Am I upset, disappointed? Of course. I was looking forward to making more Tikki and Ronde jokes, not lifting a thing in the move, and eating crazy amounts of food. Oh well.

I figure Jeff and I have a couple more shots at this. If it doesn’t work we’ll look at the adoption option. Right now mostly I feel grateful. People have gone out of their way to be supportive. It’s nice hearing from all those voices, all those people hoping and praying really makes this process easier. It’s a little harder now because I’m not the only one disappointed. Let’s just say my mother was not pleased and vowed to wait on me and make sure I follow doctor’s orders for the next cycle.

I want to thank everyone for following our little journey. If anything cool happens we’ll let you know. Ciao for now.

Kyndell

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 at 5:13 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.