From Kindergarten to Therapy
Posted on March 12th, 2008 – 8:44 AMBy Kay Krhin
It’s that time of year : Lasso the kids and the registration forms it’s preschool and kindergarten roundup time! Today we have guest-blogger Amy Jo Lennartson sharing her pre-K panic. (I need to find a brown paper bag -just thinking about this almost makes me hyperventilate.)
With kindergarten packets arriving in the mail, it was yet another reminder the choice we have to make — soon.
When we lived in Minneapolis, I blamed the City on the anxiety I felt when people would ask –when our boys were infants — where they would go to school. And they didn’t mean preschool, because of course, I was already on a waiting list for that, right?
I had no idea. Absolutely no clue. This wasn’t covered in the “What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting Twins” book. As people rattled off friendly advice, opinions and suggestions, I was overwhelmed. Don’t kids just go to the nearest school? Of course, silly, they could — if that school wasn’t closing due to budget cuts. So that left a buffet of options, so many in fact, I’ve blocked them all out.
But then, when the boys were two, and just as we seriously starting to explore our options, Husband got a new job in a smaller community. This was great for two reasons: a different house meant a legitimate reason to shop at IKEA and I could get out of all this school choice stuff, because a small community would mean the simplicity that comes with less choice.
Which of course isn’t true at all. Turns out there are as many choices as children have needs no matter where you live.
It’s dizzying, especially for those making this choice for the first time: we could homeschool, apply to the way-across-town charter school where all the cool kids go, check out the private schools (which may or may not accept kids with special education needs, which we need) and apparently, if all else fails, send them to the public elementary school three blocks away.
But wait. There’s more. We could also do half and half: we could do the mornings at the brick and mortar school and the afternoons doing public school online from home. Or vice-versa. Who knew? We do, because I made the mistake of going to an informational meeting about this.
And aside from school choice, there are family values and lifestyles decisions: how important is that your kids attend a neighborhood school? What if you feel stuck in your neighborhood and don’t want your kids to go to school there? How important is it that your kids are friends with kids who have parents who you consider “like minded”? What if homeschooling is your first choice, but you can’t afford to have a parent home to do that? How does all this balance with younger and older siblings, geography and work schedules? Is there one right place? And how much does it really matter?
We aren’t sure what we’re going to do. We know what makes sense, but we can’t say with much confidence that it feels like the right choice. I am, however, confident that regardless of where they go to kindergarten, they’ll end up in therapy, which I suppose I should start researching now, too.
How did you make your preschool/kindergarten decision?
I know this post focused on kindergarten but also wanted to pass along this new website for researching preschools in your area. Savvysource.com
12 Responses to "From Kindergarten to Therapy"
We live in Minneapolis, so of course I’m waiting to find out which of my 2 picks (if either!) my son got into for kindergarten. I am really hoping for the magnet school that is just 2 blocks from our place, but the other (which is our community school, about 2 miles from home) would be okay, too.
I made the decision based upon visiting the magnet school and deciding it didn’t freak me out as much as I thought it would (the school’s philosophies, that is). The kindergarteners were mostly separated from the much older children, and that comforted me, because I couldn’t imagine my innocent, nearly-5 year old having to navigate relationships with 8th graders, or even 3rd graders.
I’m a full-time grad student and also work 2 jobs, so it was really important that he go to a school nearby, as I don’t have time to be shuttling him half an hour away, and I would prefer that he not ride the bus. I also wanted him to go to school in the area where we live, hoping that the parents have similar backgrounds and lifestyles.
I feel your pain! I am a MN native and went to the town’s public schools. Now I live in Tulsa, and I am already “playing the game” to get our son in to the private school of our choice. It is ridiculous, but we live in a fairly affluent part of town, but the public schools near are home are not very good. The truly sad part– our son is 15 months old, but the waiting list for preschool is long, so he is going in to an infant to 3’s program, because once you are in, you can stay in through pre-school and (hopefully) in to elementary school. Grr… The pressure to make the “right” decision!
I can relate! We recently moved and I am stalking, yes stalking several preschools so that my daughter gets in on the registration day because things fill up that fast around here. It’s amazing how I see her entire life crumbling if she doesn’t get in to a preschool. She won’t go to college, won’t make a 6 figure salary and most importantly, won’t be able to support me when I’m entered into the nuthouse at the tender age of 50.
Now don’t think I’m not a big supporter of high-quality education (I’m getting my PhD in educational evaluation for god’s sake). But does it really matter so much? Especially at the level of pre-school???
Again, I’m a big supporter of the importance of formal education, but I do think a lot of it comes from home. I’m not too worried about my 2 year old’s future education too much because 1) she’s a bright inquisitive kid and 2) my husband and I care and will be involved in her education. I guess I just think there are a lot of good options out there and if it isn’t one particular school there will be another where she will have a different, but not necessarily better experience.
I went to the schools we lived nearest to. And managed to get a PhD level education despite it! 
That being said, I was horrified to learn that public schools still don’t really know what to do with a 5 year old that’s a little more advanced than the others. (My parents were chastised because I entered kindergarten as a fluent reader…had to spend half my days with a special teacher or off on my own working on workbooks. FUN.) So I started looking into options. We absolutely can’t afford private schools, and I’d LOVE to home-school for a few years but gotta pay for that higher education somehow! So I found a charter school in our town with private school values. HOPEFULLY it will still be there in three years. And HOPEFULLY we can get in because you can’t reserve a spot. But if that doesn’t work, I’m prepared (and content) to send him to the school district we live in. It’s not the fancy school you go to. It’s what you do with the education you get. And I agree that a bright kid with involved parents will do great no matter where you go!
I’m not used to the burocracy that goes with the school system here. Maybe I’m niave and things have changed back home too.
I have to agree with a few other posters, I am really not that stressed with pre-school and kindegarten issues. I think it is great that we look at all the options, but the reality is that home matters the most in regards to student success. I really want my child to go to pre-school mostly for the structure of it, so that when she gets to kindegarten she will understand sitting at a desk/table, not talking out of turn etc. I have not investigated pre-schools but know when we are ready we will find something. In my life I really have to watch the control of what I should be freaking out about, and I don’t think this is one that I should. That being said, we need to watch our kiddos too and if they are not doing well/fitting in in the school situation we chose, we should do everything we can to find a better “fit”. I think I would be a little more crazy about it if I didn’t think our district/neighborhhod schools were good.
When we moved 2 years ago, we specifically moved into a district that we would be happy with. Both my husband and I were/are teachers and have our Masters in Education. We know that student success comes more from parent involvement than the classroom, no matter how great, or poor, a program claims to be. My son will go to our neighborhood school for elementary school, which happens to be a good school, and we are confident he will do well. For preschool, he will stay at Kindercare until he goes to Kindergarten. I’ve never even thought of moving him for preschool. He has such a connection with the staff and students that would hurt him to move him, not help him.
Like Erin, I’m inclined to leave my son (only a year old) at KinderCare at least through preschool. Then into the public system in St. Louis Park where we live. I’m using the next few years to watch how the city develops its elementary-level International Baccalaureate program before I decide if we need to move before he starts kindergarten. It’s a tough choice — I love KinderCare, but I went to a private Montessori school as a kid and don’t think it can be beat for quality. I just am not sure I can stomach the price tag!
Wow, we just went through this last month - I can relate. My husband and I grew up in small towns - there was one school and you went to it! However, we now live in Eden Prairie, and we had to decide between 1/2 day kindergarten, whole day kindergarten (with a hefty price tag), Spanish immersion or the downtown interdistrict school. All these choices are fantastic, but a little overwhelming! After some informational sessions and lots of research, we have opted for Spanish immersion - I am just relieved that we have decided! I know all the options are great, and our support at home is going to make a big difference, but you do feel like if you make a wrong choice your kid won’t go to college and get a decent job someday! Silly, I know. Glad I’m not the only one to obsess about this!
Sometimes all the choices do seem overwhelming…I too remember (and miss!) the days of just going to my neighborhood school.
To me, it’s not so much a question of getting into the right school academically, as I agree with those who say that the home influence is the one that matters most in the long run anyway. I’m concerned more with the social aspects…I want my kid to know the kids he goes to school with, to have his friends from the neighborhood also be his school friends; and I don’t want to drive him half-an-hour for a playdate with his school buddies! Also, philosophically, I just support public education…so I’m sure we will just end up going to our neighborhood school.
But it does make me wonder…not only in school choice, but in many things in life…can having lots of options ever be a BAD thing…? Sometimes it seems like we just make our lives harder that way, not easier!
Wow! When did the high-pressure adult work world trickle down to our precious little children’s lives? Living in a small town with a great public school I guess I’m not faced with these sorts of problems. Everyone has to do what’s best for their kids. What’s best for my kids is letting them be kids for as long as they can!
I think it’s fair to say confidently, as many of you have, that the strongest determinant in a kid’s educational success is the involvement of their parents . . . that said, I still felt the anxiety when it was time to choose a school for my kids. I didn’t care how FAST they learned how to read, or how EARLY they could master math concepts . . . I wanted their first year at school to show them that learning was fun, and school is cool. I wanted them to learn how to ask a teacher for help, I wanted Kindergarten to reiterate what we had been teaching at home — that everybody makes mistakes and that’s OK, and that you should use that experience to learn; that everybody deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. You want a school that gives them the message that learning is important, and that they (the kids) are capable to handle the challenges and will be successful learners. You want their first exposure to school to be a positive one that they will carry with them for years, even thru the times when the teachers/classes are disappointing. I could go on and on, but you guys know what I mean, and probably had similar/the same wishes. So, in that sense, choosing the right school IS important.
