Comments on: The Morning Challenge http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/ Just another blogs2.startribune.com weblog Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:49:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Tina Feigal http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5870 Tina Feigal Mon, 31 Mar 2008 04:12:20 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5870 No problem, Michele! I love helping parents with their parenting challenges. It's my passion! Visit www.nurturedheart.com for more information. Tina No problem, Michele! I love helping parents with their parenting challenges. It’s my passion! Visit
http://www.nurturedheart.com for more information.

Tina

]]> By: MicheleK http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5841 MicheleK Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:57:59 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5841 Wow! Thanks for responding Tina, it's nice to know the 'real' backgrounds of people who are giving advice or recommendations. I appreciate you taking the time to follow up. My oldest son is 12 so we have been through the battle with him his whole life of getting up and getting out the door. This topic is really close to the struggles of potty training too.... Thanks! Wow! Thanks for responding Tina, it’s nice to know the ‘real’ backgrounds of people who are giving advice or recommendations. I appreciate you taking the time to follow up.

My oldest son is 12 so we have been through the battle with him his whole life of getting up and getting out the door. This topic is really close to the struggles of potty training too….

Thanks!

]]> By: Tina Feigal http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5835 Tina Feigal Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:16:48 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5835 MicheleK, Just one more point about getting the children out the door. If you need a break right before you leave, it happens in the car, a fact you can establish in advance, so there are no surprises. Predictability is a very helpful tool in gaining cooperation. Also, with children as young as yours, breaks should be used sparingly. You are much better off redirecting behavior with the young ones. "Forwarding the action" works great. "As soon as you fill up your tummy, we're going to take a ride to school! What toys do you think should go in the car today?" Get the child making an appropriate decision and acting on it, and the focus is off resisting. Best, Tina MicheleK,
Just one more point about getting the children out the door. If you need a break right before you leave, it happens in the car, a fact you can establish in advance, so there are no surprises. Predictability is a very helpful tool in gaining cooperation.

Also, with children as young as yours, breaks should be used sparingly. You are much better off redirecting behavior with the young ones. “Forwarding the action” works great. “As soon as you fill up your tummy, we’re going to take a ride to school! What toys do you think should go in the car today?” Get the child making an appropriate decision and acting on it, and the focus is off resisting.

Best,
Tina

]]> By: Tina Feigal http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5834 Tina Feigal Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:12:12 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5834 Hi Katy, Yes, I think your 3-1/2-year-old son can get the idea about setting rules. Make some suggestions, so he knows what they sound like, and then see if he can think of some. If he does, be sure to use them, and if not, he will soon! Rules need adjusting as the family grows, so there will be plenty of opportunity. Best to you and your family, Tina Hi Katy,
Yes, I think your 3-1/2-year-old son can get the idea about setting rules. Make some suggestions, so he knows what they sound like, and then see if he can think of some. If he does, be sure to use them, and if not, he will soon! Rules need adjusting as the family grows, so there will be plenty of opportunity.

Best to you and your family,
Tina

]]> By: Tina Feigal http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5833 Tina Feigal Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:36:11 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5833 Hi MicheleK I sure understand your perspective on "experts." I do have three sons, whom I consider to be my best teachers. I designed the morning routine from my experience with them, and the experiences I have had over the past 7+ years as a parent coach. And you are so right: children need individual approaches. I work with parents all the time to customize the techniques I teach, so they are effective for older, younger, brighter, more sensitive, and disabled kids. Thanks for the opportunity to clarify! Best, Tina Hi MicheleK
I sure understand your perspective on “experts.” I do have three sons, whom I consider to be my best teachers. I designed the morning routine from my experience with them, and the experiences I have had over the past 7+ years as a parent coach. And you are so right: children need individual approaches. I work with parents all the time to customize the techniques I teach, so they are effective for older, younger, brighter, more sensitive, and disabled kids.

Thanks for the opportunity to clarify!

Best,
Tina

]]> By: MicheleK http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5817 MicheleK Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:59:21 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5817 KB-You would be surprised to learn that a lot of 'experts' in fields have no experience of dealing with the subjects in their own personal lives.... I know a lot of principals who have never taught in a classroom, a few career coaches who have never worked another in another field other than being a career coach and a couple of sport coaches who have never played the game themselves..... The article sounds nice but my parenting of 3 children has taught me that every child is different and there are no set solutions to solve everyone's problems. This advice may work for one family just fine and another family it may back fire on... Interesting information though. KB-You would be surprised to learn that a lot of ‘experts’ in fields have no experience of dealing with the subjects in their own personal lives…. I know a lot of principals who have never taught in a classroom, a few career coaches who have never worked another in another field other than being a career coach and a couple of sport coaches who have never played the game themselves…..

The article sounds nice but my parenting of 3 children has taught me that every child is different and there are no set solutions to solve everyone’s problems. This advice may work for one family just fine and another family it may back fire on…

Interesting information though.

]]> By: Mom of Asperger Son http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5815 Mom of Asperger Son Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:37:33 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5815 Tina listed great solutions and advice for guiding parents to raise healthy kids. I just finished reading "The Pocket Parent Coach". What a wonderful book! This book has helped my husband and I deal with day to day issues with our children (one with Aspergers). We have referred many times to her book and have taken many of Tina's suggestions and put them into play in our own home/family life. Once again, thank you for the helpful advice. Tina listed great solutions and advice for guiding parents to raise healthy kids. I just finished reading “The Pocket Parent Coach”. What a wonderful book! This book has helped my husband and I deal with day to day issues with our children (one with Aspergers). We have referred many times to her book and have taken many of Tina’s suggestions and put them into play in our own home/family life.
Once again, thank you for the helpful advice.

]]> By: Katy http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5814 Katy Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:39:14 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5814 Shannon-- Yes, I have also found that my son responds to getting going much faster if when he first wakes up we spend about five minutes "snuggling." Getting that time in makes the whole morning go smoother! Tina-- This is so helpful; we do sort of a version of this but your specific tips are really helpful. One question: What is the age that a kid is cognitively able to help make the rules? My son is 3 1/2...in your opinion, is that too young, and the rules should still be set by us? Or what age would you recommend? Thanks-- Shannon–

Yes, I have also found that my son responds to getting going much faster if when he first wakes up we spend about five minutes “snuggling.” Getting that time in makes the whole morning go smoother!

Tina–

This is so helpful; we do sort of a version of this but your specific tips are really helpful. One question: What is the age that a kid is cognitively able to help make the rules? My son is 3 1/2…in your opinion, is that too young, and the rules should still be set by us? Or what age would you recommend?

Thanks–

]]> By: Shannon http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5813 Shannon Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:16:28 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5813 I'm glad this is such a universal problem. When this first started happening I was feeling really guilty about going to work because my 4 year old was having fits about leaving the house in the morning, but he dawdles even when we are leaving to do something fun. I think it's just that age. I'm not sure that a family meeting would work for my son but we try to have a pretty scheduled morning and I make it a point no matter how hard it is to get out of bed to have breakfast together in the morning and spend some time together before the rush of the day begins. If I'm not immediately yelling at him to get dressed and brush his teeth he seems to be more willing to cooperate. Of course this doesn't always work (kids are unpredictable) but it helps! I’m glad this is such a universal problem. When this first started happening I was feeling really guilty about going to work because my 4 year old was having fits about leaving the house in the morning, but he dawdles even when we are leaving to do something fun. I think it’s just that age. I’m not sure that a family meeting would work for my son but we try to have a pretty scheduled morning and I make it a point no matter how hard it is to get out of bed to have breakfast together in the morning and spend some time together before the rush of the day begins. If I’m not immediately yelling at him to get dressed and brush his teeth he seems to be more willing to cooperate. Of course this doesn’t always work (kids are unpredictable) but it helps!

]]> By: Sherry http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5812 Sherry Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:55:03 +0000 http://blogs2.startribune.com/blogs/cribsheet/2008/03/18/the-morning-challenge/#comment-5812 Aaaaah! You're singing my song! Our 4 year old is also a dawdler extraordinaire and I'm beginning to understand that saying she's both 4 and a dawdler is really redundant. 4=dawdle Reading this I realize that our morning routine is probably too variable. We can try and standardize it. However, I do find that on mornings when we have built in adequate time getting her 4 year old legs to finally cross our threshold is still a problem. Can I put a new puppy in the car every morning? But still, I'm going to try a couple of these tips. Thanks. Aaaaah! You’re singing my song! Our 4 year old is also a dawdler extraordinaire and I’m beginning to understand that saying she’s both 4 and a dawdler is really redundant. 4=dawdle

Reading this I realize that our morning routine is probably too variable. We can try and standardize it.

However, I do find that on mornings when we have built in adequate time getting her 4 year old legs to finally cross our threshold is still a problem. Can I put a new puppy in the car every morning?

But still, I’m going to try a couple of these tips. Thanks.

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