Emily the Masseuse (she of the recent water birth) has a wonderful way of stating things that seem far-out in a completely down-to-earth manner.

On Tuesday, as I was lying face down on her green portable massage table in a conference room (yes, Emily is a traveling masseuse and for that Star Tribune employees are eternally grateful), I happened to mention our sleep issues with Maya.

“Have you tried affirmations?” she asked.

Huh? Why should Maya care about something I pledge? Oh. She meant affirmations by Maya. My two-year-old.

I must have snorted through the circular cushion pressed against my face.

After her three-year-old started coming into her bed in the middle of the night, Emily said, they started doing Affirmations. Before bed, she has her daughter say: “I will sleep through the night and awake refreshed.”

“I’m a big believer in talking to your body,” she said.

Did I mention that Emily can make strange suggestions sound reasonable?

That night, after lights out, I looked at my daughter with a straight face. Maya, say: I will sleep through the night and wake up fresh.

My toddler stared at me.

Maya, I repeated, say: I will sleep through the night and wake up fresh.

Maya looked quizzical, then said: “When the sun comes out, I will wake up.”

For good measure, she embellished: “And eat Cheerios.”

Cribsheeters, I kid you not, that was the first night in weeks that Maya slept right through.

We repeated it the next night. And again! Uninterrupted sleep. Amazing!

Next, I’m going to try to make her say: I will eat my vegetables.

I’ll keep you posted.

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