Matt and Liz’s Story
Posted on April 26th, 2008 – 9:58 PMBy May Chen
After Matt Logelin wrote to Cribsheet two weeks ago (”A New Dad Reaches Out”), many of you have found yourselves inexorably drawn to the story of a guy who within a day became both a new dad and a widower. Strib reporter Maura Lerner was one of them. The result is a story in Sunday’s paper. Maura talks about reporting the story…
It’s hard to talk to Matt Logelin, or read his blog, without feeling haunted by his story. Last month, he lost his wife Liz the day after their daughter Madeline was born.
When I called him in California, to see how he felt about sharing his story in the newspaper, he was eager to talk.
Sometimes he laughed, and moments later he’d fight off tears. It’s still all so raw.
Many days, he said, he gets condolence cards and congratulations cards from the same people. And imagines them walking into Target, buying both at the same time. It’s part of the absurdity, the surreal mix of joy and grief, that he has captured in his blog.
Here’s the story in today’s Star Tribune.
By the way, Matt and Liz both grew up in Minnetonka, where they were high school sweethearts. He calls her “the love of my life.”
25 Responses to "Matt and Liz’s Story"
I read his blog everyday, and I am amazed at his strength. Madeline is such a lucky little girl.
Hello…I’m not sure where to send this to, but early in the pregnancy (or should I say blog)I read Matt’s comments about being excited about the new addition (Madelyn)trying to arrive earlier than expected. I hadn’t read much since then, until today. I’m so sorry to hear of his loss of Liz. What an awful shame. Reading the story in Star-Tribune brought me to tears, wishing him and baby Madelyn the best and my thoughts and prayers are with them. I even felt guilty because I’m a single mom with two teens, and prematurely thinking of retirement. This is so unfair that Liz will never have those wonderful learning experiences of raising Madelyn, and creating memories with her family. My heart aches for both of you, but I think you’ll both be strong enduring this setback in your lives. Just remember Liz will help guide you through it all. I’m sure her love will still be strong wherever you go in life.
Matt, enjoy Madelyn and all the memories you’ll create in the future. Please don’t hesitate to get the grieving support should it be needed, it’ll help the both of you. I wish you and Madelyn the best of everything.
God Bless.
Hey fellow cribsheeters,
I have been so captivated by Matt’s story over the last few weeks as I’m sure many of you have been too. I can’t help thinking about him and “checking” on him several times a day. I want to do something, anything to help. I know he says he needs advice and that’s all, but I can’t help wanting to do more. Does anyone have any ideas or know of anything that we as cribsheeters could join together and do? Just a thought.
Rachel
In response to Rachel, I was thinking we could find out what type of formula Matt is using and donate all of the checks that we get from the formula companies to him. I know I have a ton of Enfamil and Similac checks that I am not using because I am breastfeeding. I know formula is so expensive. Thoughts?
Matt if you read this, please let us know what type of formula Madeline is on.
Matt,
I read your story in the star tribune on Sunday. My heart goes out to you because I just recently lost my husband very suddenly. He was there and then he was gone. I know exactly what you are going through. May God give you many blessings and help with your precious little one.
My sympathy to you Matt & family. I’ve been there-done that. It is 17 years ago today 4-28 that I lost a daughter in childbirth. The headlines and article in yesterday’s paper brought me to tears, as I was preparing to go to the cemetary with flowers etc. She died at Methodist Hospital in MTKA. I still feel it didn’t have to be this way. I still say if a C-section would have been done when the OB knew she was in trouble, I think I may have my daughter here today and be a Mom that she so wanted to be. But no they induced labor (her vitals were completely off the charts-many problems) but by 10:00am she had a seizure and went into a coma. They did an emergency c-section & did save the baby-a beautiful little boy (we celebrated his 17th B-day yesterday) but she was put on life-support. A brain hemmorage and it damaged the base line of her brain that she would have been a vegetable. It was a tough week and my son-in-law could not sign the papers to disconnect the life support. And so we had her the week in the hospital-saying our good byes etc. My son-in-law raised his son with the help of his siblings and our family. He is the spitting image of his Mother so we have great concilation in that. Keep your chin high and wishing you the best in caring for your baby daughter.
Sincerely, a concerned Grandma
I too have been riveted by Matt’s story and check on him daily. He has a lot to work through, but it sounds like there are many friends and family members to offer lots of support, for which I am so grateful.
Marian–
I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragic story…but maybe can give others hope that good things can still come.
Kay and I spent Saturday morning in a chapel crying over a woman we never met, then making our way through the crowd to meet the grieving husband for the first time. (Madeline stayed in LA with friends.) Matt told us how touched he was by the many, many notes from Cribsheeters.
hello…
thank you everyone for the support.
ruth - i am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. i know the pain you are going through and would love to help you out anyway i can. please feel free to leave a comment on my blog…i’ll get your e-mail address and write you and send you my phone number if you ever need someone to talk to.
marian - i’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. hearing that her husband successfully raised their son with the help of the family gives me great hope for madeline’s future. it also serves as a reminder that i am not doing this alone, even if my family is not here with me in los angeles.
rachel, alicia - i keep getting comments from folks asking how they can help. i keep turning them down because we have everything we need, but i suppose i could use some formula…madeline is eating so much more than when she came home and my supplies are dwindling (which is a really, really good thing)! that said, i have tons and tons of gift cards to buy this stuff, but if you have some checks from the formula companies you’re not using, i’d be more than happy to take them. (curious to hear how you get these…are they trying to convince you to stop breastfeeding or something?). jerks.
the formula madeline uses right now is similac neosure (22 calorie).
and thanks especially to may and kay for everything you’ve done…coming to the memorial service for a woman you’ve never met is quite admirable. memorial services are generally depressing affairs and i can’t say i’d be first in line to attend. i hope you learned a little bit about liz (i think the turnout proves just how amazing she truly was).
Dear Matt,
My heart goes out for you. I understand your feelings. I went through something same as you. About 6 months ago I was 5 months pregnant. I found out that my baby had a rare kidney disease and no fluid around my baby. The doctor said I could not save my baby. I had to end my preganancy and had a c-section. I felt that the world was ending. This was my third baby. I felt that I was the blamed one. It took me awhile to get the understanding that I could not control this. I knew that this was in God hands. I wish you good luck and your response catch my heart. Thanks!
Matt–
I have been reading about your story and saying many, many prayers for your family.
Please take good care of yourself.
Karen’s right, Matt, please take good care of yourself - you know all too well how Madeline needs and loves you. Bulk up young fella, you’ll need to tap all your reserves to keep up with her.
Matt, it truly was a tribute to Liz to have such a strong showing of love and support at the memorial service and at the reception afterward on Saturday. I know this all so difficult but as it’s been said you have lots of folks caring for you and praying for you. Please include Penny and me in that group. We want to continue to be of support to Tom and Candee, Debbie and you and of course Madeline.
God’s blessings to you always!
Uncle Rich and Aunt Penny
Rachel, Alicia and fellow Cribsheeters - I too have constantly been thinking about Matt and what “we” could do for him. That little girl is truly blessed to have him for a Daddy ~ I’m not sure how my own husband would have fared in this situation. My own mom died 2 weeks before I turned 3 and I was raised by my grandparents - I can count on one hand the pictures I have of my mom much less any stories about her. Matt is so amazing - There has to be SOMETHING we can do for him from the cribsheet community…
Alicia, Darcie, Matt and cribsheeters. I think it would be GREAT if we could either send checks (where DO you get those things? We never received any?)or formula for Matt and Madeline. Why don’t you guys e-mail me and we can figure out how exactly we want to make this work. My e-mail is rachiebelle7@juno.com let’s see if we can get some things together to help this amazing guy out!
Rachel
May and Kay–
Thanks so much for representing us Cribsheeters at the service! I toyed with going, but felt it would be intrusive since I have no connection other than through Matt’s blog…but I am glad someone was there to tell Matt how much we are thinking of him.
It’s so great that he’s reaching out this way…I know if my husband were in the same shoes, he would have a hard time letting people know that he needed help. It’s great that Matt is able to let so many people in.
Matt,
I too think that Madeline is a lucky little girl having a dad who cares so much, but is such a REAL person too. That is what struck me on your blog, you have real emotions and really don’t hide what you are feeling. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. I have so much empathy for you, but hope too–you are doing a great job. It is hard work raising a newborn, but your heart is in the right place. I wish you nothing but the best, and peace in your heart as time moves on.
Sincerely, Stephanie
To anyone that is interested in contributing formula checks to Matt, please email me at aliciadieder@gmail.com and I will give you my mailing address and I can forward onto Matt.
Here is how you get these checks. The formula companies, Similac, Enfamil, Goodstart, etc. will give family members of infants checks for formula. Grandparents and other family members can sign up also - limit one per household (not just parents). A lot of moms on message boards will trade their checks of the brands they are not using, so I would encourage you to sign up at multiple websites so you can trade for Similac checks if you frequent any message boards.
Similac website: https://welcomeaddition.com/joinnow.aspx
Enfamil website:
https://www.meadjohnson.com/app/iwp/ConsumerRegisterLoadConsentInfo.do
Good Start website:
http://www.verybestbaby.com/Public/Default.aspx
Matt - One of my friends works at Yahoo, so I was thinking I could get them all to him and he could get them to you. Make sure you sign up too!
Hey cribsheeters,
I started a blog to help Matt and Madeline. So if you are interested at all in helping let me know.
http://www.helpmattandmadeline.blogspot.com
Rachel
Matt — I read your story and I was taken back to the scare I had one year ago. While I of course cannot understand the depths of your pain, I can relate to the shock that a blood clot tied to pregnancy brings. It seems to come out of left field (which it did for me)at the most wonderful time in your life. I’m a parent of two beautiful children and I can tell you that if you shower your daughter with all your love and devotion, she will flourish. This is something you’re clearly doing for your beautiful new baby. Take care.
[…] blogs2.startribune.com […]
Hi Matt, like a lot of people that have left comments for you. I also read your story in the paper and was very touched by it. I have to say I have a lot in common with your little angel, Madeline, the timing of the story was pretty strange also. You see the 28th was my birthday (I turned 38) and now today is the 38th anniversary of my mom’s death. She had me via C-section and died the next day from a blood clot. Take it one day at a time. I have 5 older brothers and sisters and the closest one to me in age is 10 years older than me. So I know how sometimes it is when some people make stupid comments (like the lady at the doctor office about the rings). I would have people ask me if I was an Oops because of the age difference, depending on my mood, I would either let them have it with the truth and let them feel like a jerk or just let it go. Take care and know that you and your family are in our hearts and prayers!
Sincerely,
Jill M
PS. If this is a repeat from yesterday, sorry, I just didn’t see the comment that I left at the Star Tribune/cribsheet page, so I thought I would try again.
Dear Matt,
I just read your story and my heart goes out to you. Five years ago I suffered from blood clots in my legs during my 3rd pregnancy. I had been on bedrest early for morning sickness (hospital twice, home iv’s and drug pumps - not fun). At 15 weeks, just when the sickness improved I was finally diagnosed with the clots. I had been to the doctor once a week for 3 weeks previous and it wasn’t found. After 8 days in the hospital (and many consults) things were under control. The first 2 days in there were the scariest days of my life. I spent the rest of this pregnancy and all if my 4th pregnancy taking blood thinners by injection. I had many “scares” both times, and thankfully both baby girls were healthy. I truly wish that there was more awareness of the risks of bed rest and blood clots. I really feel it’s more common than we think. And it can be prevented. Again Matt, I am so sorry for your loss and you and Madeline will be in my prayers.
Amy
Matt, When I read about your situation I cried, too. Just as I have been doing for over a year. My son died and though it is not the same as losing a spouse and your daughter’s mom, I just want to say, when the pain wells up and you think you might cry, just go ahead and do it. People understand and will be patient with you, just as you need to be patient with yourself. It will hurt even more if you stuff it away. My prayers are with you and Madeline. Don’t be afraid to accept help when it is offered sincerely. You don’t NEED to do it all yourself. Marien
Matt,
Like everyone else on here, I too, have been extremely touched by your story. Madeline is an extremely lucky little girl to have such a devoted father. I have a nine month old son, and I don’t think my husband would have handled it as well as you have if he was in your shoes. You and Madeline are in my prayers. Take care of yourself and your beautiful little girl.
[…] many of you have been offering kind words and advice. After the article ran about them in the Star Tribune, a few Cribsheeters rallied around to do something to help. It started out with an idea in the […]
