A Child and a Church (Pt. 2)
Posted on May 22nd, 2008 – 10:46 AMBy May Chen
After Cribsheet wrote about the 13-year-old autistic boy who was barred from his church, we got this thoughtful perspective from Mary Weaver in our inbox….
Although the focus has been on autism and disruptive behaviors, there is also a growing population of children who cannot self-regulate their behaviors due to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, Reactive Attachment Disorder, and more. So many children have been exposed to abuse and neglect in their short lives and never really given a fair shot before they even start.
There are several bloggers in Minnesota who are parenting children adopted from the foster care system, where FASD and RAD are rampant. The looks, the stares, th “if that were my kid he wouldn’t be doing that” syndrome, the very un-Christian like behavior happens to us daily. We’ve been asked to leave restaurants, churches, stores. We are simply trying to provide as normal of a life as possible to our children. Yet instead of being helped, we are pushed away from the very things we need.
As a parent in rural Minnesota, I can attest the services available to children with special needs are few and far between. At least an hour of travel one way is necessary to provide children with the extra services they need. Instead of banning the Race’s son from Mass, has a single parishioner offered a gas card to cover expenses for a doctor’s appointment? Has anyone taken the time to find out what things Adam enjoys and provide them for his entertainment - either at home or at church? What about offering to stay with Adam for an hour or two so Mom or Dad can have a dinner alone or even a nap?
There are so many little things that can be done to help parents with children with special needs. The smallest kindness is huge in our eyes.
The Church of St. Joseph has obviously forgotten that it ain’t all about them.
Mary Weaver
Underwood, Minnesota
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