Today we have Cribsheet reader, Jeanne, soliciting advice for how to respond to unsolicited advice and comments…

Hi Kay and May,

I am writing to Cribsheet because I wonder if this topic has been
discussed in a previous posting.

I am currently a stay-at-home Mom as well as well as “mature” (read:
“older”) college student. I previously had employment outside of the
home but left because the cost of childcare cancelled out my not
particularly lucrative social services salary. I have been a SAHM
for two years now, caring for my toddler and preschooler. I am often
asked about my “employment status” by family members, friends, and
neighbors.

I have received unsolicited advice and commentary
suggesting that my children are “too young” for me to return to the
world of paid employment and it would be “best to wait until the kids
are in school” before I even think about checking out the
classifieds.

Others have inquired as to why I (willingly) remain a
SAHM. In one memorable encounter, a relative asked, “Are you
currently looking for a job? Don’t you want to get back to work?
Don’t you want to do more with your life than stay home?”

I wonder why people feel so compelled to offer their two cents? Why
is it that SAHM’s are stereotyped as “unmotivated and lazy” whereas
working moms are labeled “selfish.” (Both of which are of course
foolish stereotypes that I have heard). Many parents do not have the
option of whether or not to be a “SAHM” or a “working mom” due to
financial considerations.

I am wondering how other moms and dads
might address any comments about their “employment status?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 at 10:33 am and is filed under Solicited Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.