There’s a feel and a mood in a small bookstore that you just don’t get at a Barnes & Noble.

That’s why I love popping into the Best of Times store in Red Wing. I especially like the fact that the bestsellers of the day are interspersed with older, surprise picks by the store owner. The girls wander around petting the life-sized stuffed dogs or pop into the kids’ house in back and I get to browse unhurriedly.

That’s where I recently found “Wuhu Diary: On Taking My Adopted Daughter Back to Her Hometown in China” by Emily Prager.

Published in 2002, it’s the story of a New York novelist’s two-month sojourn with her four-year-old, LuLu, in the southern Chinese city where Lulu was adopted. Four? Isn’t that too young, you ask? Prager explains that she wanted Lulu to see the country and the people through a child’s eyes, in a more pure way, if you will, instead of reacting to poverty and shabbiness.

It’s a lovely idea and the book is filled with evocative details - from the people who work at their hotel, to LuLu’s Chinese school with its unexpected roller-skating sessions and the public parks and lakes they stumble on during hot, humid afternoon walks.

The trip - traveling to literally find one’s self - is Prager’s gift to her daughter, and the book is a love letter to remember it by. By now, I’m sure LuLu is old enough to read and understand what she couldn’t then, including Prager’s internal battles over when to let go and when to hold on.

I haven’t adopted babies myself, but Prager’s themes will resonate with any mom: pride in letting a kid spread her wings, the courage to let strangers into our lives, and fear of rejection by your own child.

Her intent is so naked and well-meaning that you’ll forgive Prager the few times the book veers into being a notebook dump, because, well, love isn’t neat nor disciplined. You’ll forgive her the annoying links she makes between her adopted daughter’s likes and dislikes and her genetic heritage (when she ascribes Lulu’s love of planting to something deep in her soul - you can almost see the thought bubbles of pointy-hatted Chinese peasants in a rice field floating above the image…Aiya! Most kids like to plant, whether or not they come from an agricultural background!)

And like me, you’ll probably cry.

I’m afraid I can’t say the same for another kid-themed book I’m now struggling to get through: “Through the Children’s Gate: A Home in New York” by New Yorker writer Adam Gopnik.

I lived in New York as a grad student and love the city. And Gopnik is a lovely writer. But I’d probably have an easier time with this book if there was more on the kids and less on the parents and their view of how the city and their world changed after 9/11.

Cribsheeters, any good adoption/parenting books to recommend?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 at 9:27 am and is filed under Adoption, Books. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.