Trying to Conceive
Posted on May 14th, 2009 – 11:10 AMBy Kay Krhin
Today we have A. in Mpls, who is in the early stages of TTC asking Cribsheeters for advice
Hi Cribsheet,
I do have a question that maybe some of your readers can weigh in on.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first child since August 2008. I was on birth control for 8 years prior and understood that it may take a while to become pregnant. Well, this is the month that I finally lost it when I got my period. It seems to be taking FOREVER! It is frustrating and I know we are not alone. I am 27, he is 30, so I don’t think our age is a factor quite yet…
Are there any tips you could give about boosting our chances, both naturally (with diet, exercises etc.) and with hormones like Chomid?
We would prefer to stay as natural as possible, using meds as a last resort.
What worked for everyone else?
Thank you,
A.
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28 Responses to "Trying to Conceive"
My first question - has either of you gotten a full workup? Your ages are probably not a factor, but it could be that you have issues that are not age related. Example: I have a friend who TTC starting in early/mid 20s. She was rather flummoxed about not getting pregnant. Turns out she had endometriosis (sp?), a condition that had been part of her makeup for many years (not age related.) She had a procedure (sorry, I don’t know the terms) and was able to conceive relatively easily afterward. But she waited two or three years before consulting a specialist because she could not imagine that she would’ve had any issues at 25. Another - rather dramatic, not meant to frighten you, example - I have a friend who entered early menopause at 32. I think this is very, very uncommon, but it did prevent her from having bio. children. There are several silent conditions that can affect young women and that can also be addressed if you have the right care. As for men’s fertility, I know very little, but it wouldn’t hurt to explore this as a possibility.
You haven’t even gone a year yet. Give it time. My wife and I took more than a year to conceive our first one. Our second took about a split second — it’s apparently just a matter of your body getting used to the idea.
That said, there is a pee-on-a-stick test you can get from your pharmacy, next to the pregnancy tests, I believe, that can tell you when the time for conception is best. You can also take your temperature each morning, which will also help.
The best place to go for these questions is Fertility Friend — http://www.fertilityfriend.com.
Good luck!
We studied up with the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler and learned oodles! We followed her plans & charts and conceived with 5 months of going off the pill. I highly recommend this book. Best of luck!
Hi All,
This is A. I should add that yes, I have been to the doctor and everything is working fine. He said we could wait another 4 months to be at the “year” mark before making any other decisions, but he also said that would be 4 months of possible non concieving that we could avoid. His first advice is Clomid, but I have to pee on the ovulation stick first. 
Make sure, if you haven’t already- chart and keep track of your temperature in the morning. take this temp first thing in the morning before you get up and do anything. The ’sticks’ will also help, and I would track this on your charts. Having these records will help if you will need to take any additional steps and can helpt he doctor see if there are any trends with the first part or second part of your cycle. Clomid is a good option, this is what I had to do- but you want to make sure that you are taking this for the right medical reason. We knew that my eggs were not maturing enough to help fertilization. If you are building yours eggs to good maturity this really may not help solve the ‘problem’, Remember that 1 year is not a majic number and there are a lot of other steps that you can take before being labeled by the doctors has having fertility problems.
With my son we got pregnant the first month, but with this pregnancy it took us 8 months, so I can understand your frustration. Here is what I recommend:
1) Pay attention to your cervical mucus (when it is like egg whites/thick/white you are likely to ovulate in the next day or two so have sex that first day you notice it and then again for the next 2-3 days)
2) Stay in bed for at least 30 minutes with your hips elevated after sex.
3) Have the ‘Big O’ with your husband still in you and before you elevate your hips (the pulsing of the uterus can move the sperm up).
4) Drink plenty of water.
5) Get plenty of sleep.
The month I really focused and did ALL of these things I finally got pregnant!
Good Luck!
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I will also add that knowing when you ovulate is very important..I was ovulating on day 9 even though I had a regular 28-29 day cycle. That made a HUGE difference.
it took 9 months for us. get the book “taking charge of your fertility”. charting your temp each day to learn when you ovulate was helpful for us. also used ‘preseed’ as lubricant. it is sperm friendly (unlike ky/astroglide). amazon is a good source, and it ships quickly.
I third reading the book TCOYF.
I know this may not be a big deal. My husband and I just had the mentality.. it will happen when it happens. We were trying without trying. We didn’t think about it, we weren’t hoping and praying it would happen.. or at least we pretended we didn’t care. The less we actually thought about it, the sooner it seemed to happen. We conceived our first within probably days or 2 weeks of starting to think like that.
One thing to remember is that it can take a long time for the pill to get fully out of your system, and your cycle to get regular again. When I went off the pill after having been on it for 7 years, it took about a full year before I was having regular, predictable, same-length cycles. Before that, my cycles were all over the board - some very long, some very short, some skipped altogether. So if your body has not regulated itself after coming off the pill, be patient with that, as it can take time and that needs to happen first.
Target actually has a really good book I picked up called “Fertility Facts” - it’s a collection of a bunch of simple, easy-to-follow tips for conceiving. It has chapters for everything: nutrition, exercise, positions, timing, vitamins, men’s issues, and fertility treatments. And all of the tips are short, one-pagers so it’s an easy read. You could read through it and get a wide range of good advice in a format that doesn’t seem overwhelming to follow. Most important - just try to relax and be patient - the more you think about it the harder it seems to be!
We also had many disappointing months, but when a friend recommended I read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” I followed the methods and were pregnant in 2 months! Now I have a healthy baby boy! Good luck!
Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an awesome book - I can’t believe how many things I learned from reading that book. They should teach THAT in sex ed!
I found the education from that book, partnered with ovulation tests, to be what I needed to get the timing right. Best wishes to you!
A, I know you said you’d been to the doctor, but has your husband, too? Turns out the testing for guys is a bit easier on them, and you do also want to be sure that there’s not a problem there.
We tried for 2 years before we finally conceived, and we did end up needing medical help (quite a bit) including Clomid and three IUIs (interuterine inseminations). As another poster mentioned, Clomid is particularly good if you have ovulation problems, but if you’re ovulating on your own, it can actually lower your chances in some cases. If you do end up on Clomid - which I realize you don’t want to do - please make sure your doctor monitors you.
As for other advice, for me personally, the recommendation to relax and not think about it was always the worst one. All it did was make me feel worse and like it was my fault for not getting pregnant. If you haven’t read any of the fertility books or websites that others have mentioned above, that’s a good idea, just so you can have a good understanding of how your cycles work and when your fertile times are. We were also advised to not to have sex multiple nights in a row around ovulation time (I almost wrote “back to back sex” but that made me laugh because back to back is not a good position for baby making sex 
) - we were told every other night is better.
Exercise-wise, I don’t think that yoga got me pregnant, but it did keep me sane and feeling good about my body. I did get pregnant the month after starting to seriously go to yoga twice a week for what that’s worth. But I’m skeptical of drawing too many conclusions from that.
A lot of people recommend cutting out or at least strongly limiting caffeine and alcohol. Those are probably good ideas if you haven’t already. Make sure both you and your husband are taking a multivitamin - nothing fancy needed, though you might want one with added folic acid. You may also want to stay away from too much green tea (which has caffeine anyway) it probably won’t affect your fertility, but it can keep your body from absorbing the folic acid.
Sorry this turned into such a long book. Good luck to you and your husband. I hope you update us on how it goes.
Thank you all for your advice! Ann- Thanks for the Friday morning giggle of the back to back sex 
We will keep you posted on what is going on AND I will be checking my local library for Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
Every night is best IF all ‘parts’ are working well. If not, you do need the day in between to let the sperm redevelop. Also, some with slow sperm are told to have a small, high dose of caffeine before sex to ‘motivate’ the sperm. It really is different from person to person and you really won’t know until your husband gets his sperm tested. He can go in for that without anytime.
I have a friend who tried for a couple years to get pregnant; she even went through a cycle of clomid with no results. Then she started doing yoga twice a week and within a couple months she was pregnant.
I’ve also heard good things about acupuncture.
The bad thing about fertility drugs is that you might end up with multiples, so I’d at least try more “natural” routes first.
I got pregnant pretty easily with both of my kids, but here’s what I tell all my girlfriends: do it every other day (honestly, it gets to be such a chore doing it every day and it’s not fun anymore); and sneak in a nooner. I swear on my life that I got pregnant both times from midday nookie. And again, it’s fun and breaks up the routine a little, which will help you relax and conceive. Good luck!!
I’ll just echo everyone else and recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Worked like a charm the first time!
That said, we did everything “right” and the second time still took us close to a year! So you just never know how your body wants to react.
I’m going to jump on the Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It should be required reading!!! We charted to prevent for a few months, then got pregnant the first shot! My sister in law was about to start fertility meds when she read the book. She charted for a month or two, got the hang of it and got pregnant! We gave birth 10 days apart!
Even if the charting doesn’t work immediately like it did for us, it’s HUGELY valuable information for sorting out things that might not be quite working correctly (not ovulating regularly, missing your fertile window because of a different cycle, etc). I always thought I was irregular…turns out I’m like clockwork…on a 36 day cycle!!! But when stressed…well, let’s just say I conceived on day 104! Luckilly I was charting or I’d have blown a whole paycheck on pregnancy tests.
I know some people hate it, but I loved charting. For the first time, I knew what was going on. I’d be doing it still if it weren’t pointless with my IUD! ;P
I’m one of those that hated charting but I think I’m something of a special case. When we first started out and I was ovulating regularly, it made me feel like I had some control - which was wrong, I had an idea of what my body was doing, but not any control. After 4 months I stopped ovulating and then the temperature charting just got to be a nasty reminder first thing every morning that my body was not working. I’m not charting this time around, but I think it can be valuable to figure out if and when you’re ovulating.
A-
You’re 27, there’s nothing wrong, it hasn’t been a year, and your dr is suggesting Clomid vs finishing off the year first? that’s a little iffy to me. That’s like saying “I know you only have a little cough right now, but here’s some antibiotics.” I guess I just find that a little scary.
But anyway, I know where you are coming from. I was on the pill for 10 years, and when I came off we played the “not trying” game for a while, then the trying stage, then the really trying stage. Our first took literally 11 months. I conceived her using an OPK (or three, actually), which, according to the kit I never actually ovulated while using. I tried temping for three months. I’m apparently too restless of a sleeper for charting to work. I tried the mucus thing. Maybe I don’t play with enough eggs, but my mucus is always the same. It just happened cause it did. I was by no means relaxed. In fact, I would call myself highly uptight at the time. If you are 30 and under, you have an 85% likelyhood of conceiving in a year after quitting the pill without intervention. They just don’t mention how many of that 85% just barely make it in that time frame.
Another myth people will start throwing around — if you have a hard time with the first, it was just a mental block, and the second one will be a snap. We’re on month 10 right now. No dice still. I’m trying not to get worked up about it again. But again, who am I kidding. Of course I am…
First person who tells me to relax gets internet punched. >:)
I have to recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility as well! And I would buy the book, not check it out from the library, as you will want to refer to it often. I didn’t even have to chart…I just read the book and discovered when I was ovulating (which so much about had been a complete mystery to me before!) and got pregnant really quickly!
Best of luck to you, A, and let us know how things go!
My biggest advice after as many months is to relax and have fun. It took us 10 months before we conceived, crying every month and so disappointed. Then we went on a cruise for a week and when we got back the following month I was pregnant. Sometimes you just need to stop worrying and relax.
We struggled for many years before having our sons. It eventually took 3 IVFs, but I firmly believe the only reason the 3d one worked was because of the “natural” steps I finally took to get my body in order (and I wish I had focused on all of these earlier in the process). Some ideas to think about:
1) Acupuncture. It is a wonderful natural therapy that definitely helps boost fertility. I know many women who have used it successfully. equilibrium wellness in Edina is a good center with experience in using acupuncture in fertlity.
2) Read the Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. There are a lot of tips for boosting your fertility. I preferred it to Taking Charge of your Fertility.
3) To reduce stress, add meditation and visualization. Trying to conceive can create a lot of negative energy, and you need to refocus your positive energy. I used Creative Visualizations in Meditation by Shakti Gawain, but there are a lot of options.
4) don’t rush to clomid with anything other than a very experienced fertility clinic. Lots of obs will prescribe fertility treatments like Clomid, but if you aren’t careful, that is how you can end up with a litter and a show on TLC
good luck
I haven’t taken the time to read through all of the other comments, but I will followup with L’s comment and add a bit of my own.
First, TCOYF is a great book to start with. It will really educate you on the ins and outs of a woman’s cycle. You’ll learn far more than anything you may have been taught in grade school. Charting my BBT (basel body temp) was the first thing I did after we had been trying for a year. After another year and many doctors visits later, I decided I wanted to take a more natural approach. Two doctors had thrown Clomid in my face. I was determined not to take it for personal reasons, so I read The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis and started seeing an acupuncturist. I highly recommend Jennifer Johnson at the Dahrma Wellness Center in the Yoga Center of Minneapolis. She specilizes in women’s health. Although acupuncture comes at a steep cost, the cost of many medical interventions that your doctor will suggest can be just as expensive and much more invasive. I should finally add that we were also dealing with male-factor infertility. My husband sought the help of a urologist and was on Clomid. We eventually conceived on our own without the help of ART.
Best of luck to you. Do your homework and be patient. I will never tell you to “just relax”, sometimes there is much more to TTC than relaxing.
Another point in regards to the usage of clomid. If you do decide to go that route be sure that you truly need this drug- ie ovulation issues. Also, your doctor can start you off on a low dose and slowly increase it based on how your eggs are developing (this decreases the chancse of have a reality show on TLC!) This means that the doctor should be ordering a Ultrasound each and EVERY month you are on clomid a couple of days before you usually ovualate. Clomid is not meant to be taken for months and months at a time without follow up. In fact some studies show that taken clomid for a extended amount of time can start to decrease your uterine lining- which you need for the egg to attach. My doctor checked the size AND number of eggs every month and also checked the thickness of my lining. I did this for 4 months and was able to concieve.
