The S-L-O-W Eater
Posted on May 28th, 2009 – 11:54 AMBy Kay Krhin
Today we have an inquiry from Cribsheeter Katy. Seems her son is part of the slow food movement, and it’s eating in to their precious family time. Read on and let her know of any suggestions you have to help her son speed things up at mealtime.
Hi May and Kay
I’m wondering if anyone has had any luck helping slow eaters move a little faster…? I realize this is not the worst problem one could have…but our son (4 ½) will literally sit at his plate for over an hour. And he DOES eventually eat…just EXCRUCIATINGLY slowly. I think the problem is that he is really easily distracted, and the eating area in our tiny house is right in the living room! So it’s not so much of an EATING problem as a DAWDLING problem, I guess. It’s not a terrible thing, but it does cut into family time that we might otherwise have to take a post-dinner walk or whatever together. Is it appropriate to set a time limit? When we ask him to move a little faster, he’ll eat one bite quickly and then it’s back to his usual glacial pace. I’m just wondering how others would handle this.
Thanks!
Katy
15 Responses to "The S-L-O-W Eater"
I have a boy like that. He’s 2 1/2, and can sit forever. This is great when we go out to a restaurant, but I agree, it is infuriating at home.
We do set a time limit. We wait until everyone else at the table is done. If he claims he’s still eating, we set a timer. Generally another 5-10 minutes, depending on how much he has eaten and how long it has been. I remind him periodically during this time that if he wants to eat, he needs to do it before the timer beeps. It isn’t fool-proof, but it does seem to keep him focused.
Good luck.
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Our three-year-old is the last one still sitting at the table during lunchtime at school, her teacher tells us. She’s also pretty slow at home. Thing is, she’s eating pretty steadily. I figure it’s better than gobbling down food plus it gives my husband and I some time to talk over dinner as she’s chewing, chewing, chewing.
I AM NOT ALONE!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, I thought this was just MY daughter! She drives me crazy. And I agree…it’s all about distraction. I can feed the baby, eat my own dinner, unload the clean dishwasher, and reload the dirty dishes, and she STILL won’t be finished. She just forgets to eat, I swear.
We do sometimes set the time limit, the kitchen timer for 10 minutes, as a last resort. And missing out on bath play time or after dinner play with her sisters sometimes motivates her. And I think she’s getting better as she’s growing, and learning that she misses out on things. But I still get frustrated.
She turned five in February, by the way. And she’s a little less frustrating than when she was four, because she’s learning. But is there any way to help her learn faster?
My daughter is 18 months old and sometimes takes over an hour to eat too. She is eating at a constant speed- just really slow. Last weekend we were at a resturant and people who come in after us left before we did! I know this won’t be popular but we really let her set her own pace and either sit and chit chat with her or eachother. If we are really in a hurry to do something we have her take her meal on the go. Some things you could try-
Clear the table and play a board game- let him know he can play too when he is finished.
If you want to go out on a walk, take him in the stroller and let him take/eat the on-the-go foods during the walk.
I think the big thing is that he ENJOYS the time it takes to eat. For him eating is a family activity. Find something that might motivate him to move on or finish up. No TV during eating, getting to play a game inside or outside when he is done. Let him know at the beginning of the meal what the after meal activity will be and keep reminding him as he eats. Otherwise, like I said- have him take his meal on the go. Sounds like once he is busy doing something else he will ‘forget’ all about the food and get more into the familty activity.
plus- pretty soon we will all be busy with school and sports and be lucky if we can even have a family meal at home.
I struggle with this one because my husband comes from a family of fast eaters, to the point where I don’t think that is healthy either.
We are trying to stay at the table and keep distractions to a minimum, since I believe that everyone needs to stay while other’s finish to be polite. That actually helps keep her focused. I also use her fruit to help get her to have a couple more bits of the main dish. She’s going to eat it anyways, so might as well work it to my advantage.
If I had other kids it might be more of an issue for us, but I tend to let my 2-1/2 yr old sit at the table until he says he’s done (depends on what he wants to go do!) then I let him graze off the plate the rest of the evening. I know it’s not probably the best solution…but it gets food in his belly without getting his stubborn up!!! It also helps that our dining and living rooms are one big room so the table is still fairly central to our main living area.
My daughter has at times been a very slow eater. She is now nearly 5, and for the last year and a half it definitely has been more of a dawdling issue. Prior to that we would let her set the pace, but now we will set the timer for 10 minutes if she is taking an extra long time. I don’t want to rush meal time, but after a while it’s time for us all to get outside and play!
I have this issue, too, with one of my daughters. And it might not seem so odd to me if she didn’t have a twin sister that likes to eat and run. There have been instances where I’ve realized we have all up and left her at the table alone. But she enjoys her food too much too leave. I try to remind myself (and her) that eating slowly is better for you, so we’re all trying to take some cues from her.
Thanks all for the input! As always, it is so helpful to read about others’ experiences.
Just one of the many reasons I enjoy this blog! : )
I play hardball…our son, who is 4, needs to stay seated at the table and eat. If he doesn’t he gets one warning that if he doesn’t stay put and eat his food will go in the garbage and he won’t get anything else. If he is slow, we tell him he has X amount of time to finish eating and we count down for him every 2 minutes. Now all we have to say is you have X amount of minutes and he starts eating. I have too much to get done in the few hours I am home at night to let him sit and eat for 45+ minutes. He also LOVES to play inside and outside, so we will also use that to motivate him. We never use food or TV as a motivator.
GREAT QUESTION!! I have the same issue with my daughter (almost 5) and have been too embarrassed to ask the question myself. I have loved reading through the answers, but wonder what could/should happen if daughter “A” doesn’t finish her meal before the timer goes off. We have tried the timer, but all she does is rush bites when she sees it is about to ding and then cries when she doesn’t finish. I don’t want to make mealtime miserable for her, but do need to make sure she eats SOMETHING (anything). I am worried about when she enters school what will happen with a timed lunch period. Advice welcomed!!
Oh, I love these suggestions! I think this is a universal challenge for all of us. I just wish we had more time in general so that we could all eat as slow as we want and still have time to play!
I too am the mom that lets our kids graze first off of their plates, and then out of tupperware or ziplocs if we had to get somewhere.
Getting my kids to eat ANYTHING is a struggle and has been since they were about 18 months old so - for us in our family - setting a timer is not an option. I do not want to make meal time any more stressful than it already is for any of us…We all *try* to sit at the table & eat as a family & when we have to get going - we pack up and go.
We’ve been known to have things like chicken fries or mini pancakes in baggies (sans syrup of course!) and we just eat it as we go.
