You, Your Cellphone and Your Kid
Posted on June 2nd, 2009 – 12:29 PMBy May Chen
From guest blogger Samara Tilkens Postuma….
We have all heard about how television, video games and the media affect our children. But lately, I’ve been thinking about something I have yet to see a study on. Cell phones.
No I’m not thinking about cell phones and their beta rays and the risks some say are associated with that.
I want to know how are our children affected by parents who use cell phones.
We didn’t grow up with our parents walking around with a cell phone. Our parents went to the grocery store and if they couldn’t remember what brand of salad dressing to buy there was no cell phone to use to find out. There weren’t other parents sitting on the park bench texting their spouse about dinner plans or events to note on the calendar.
I don’t think cell phones are inherently a bad thing. They add a lot of convenience to our lives. Isn’t that the whole point of technology?
But how do you think our three year olds interpret our conversations catching up with friends as we’re driving on 94? Or when we are texting at their baseball game? Or when we just can’t seem to hang up?
I’ve noticed myself trying to limit cell phone time when my three year old is awake. (Not only for the reasons I’ve already noted but pair a distracted mom and a busy three year old and you’re bound for disaster.)
I’m the first to admit, if I’m in the middle of Target looking for something my husband asked for, I’m not even going to hesitate to call him. But I am not sure I want my kids to grow up remembering me on my phone all the time. That I was distracted and not fully present because my phone was ringing with a phone call or buzzing with a new text.
So, Cribsheeters, have you ever thought about this? Do you think my questions are pointless and void? Or are my concerns relevant?
I am not claiming to have the answers on this, rather, I’m curious because this is an internal struggle that I am having.
Samara Tilkens Postuma
http://simplicityinthesuburbs.blogspot.com
13 Responses to "You, Your Cellphone and Your Kid"
I try not to jump for my phone everytime I hear it chime if I’m at home with my family. Between Facebook, Tweets, and e-mails sometimes it seems like it is non-stop. My husband was often making fun of me when MckMama’s Stellan tweets were coming in one after another when he was in the hospital.
On the flip side, I love that if I’m with my kids in the car and my 5 year old has something he can’t wait to tell Daddy, I just hit the speed dial and hand him the phone. I think they share more because of the phone, because my son is so distracted that by the time we’d get home he would have forgotten what important thing he wanted to say.
My husband and I make an effort not to talk on the phone the kids are in the car, we don’t feel the need to answer the phone every time it rings and we also are not subscribers to Facebook or Twitter. To May’s point, technology is a good thing but when it takes time away from your family or molds your childs impression of you, it’s time to shut down and go outside to play.
I too try & limit my time on technology when the kids are awake - it’s not easy - & good luck trying to explain to a childless friend or family member why 7 pm is NOT a good time for a 3 hour long gab session! I can’t live without my technology - but I do find myself trying to limit it during the kids’ waking hours.
**On Sunday I had my kids at the beach in town - two boys (about 6 & 
were ‘playing’ while their mom sat with her face buried in her phone texting away…to my dismay - she didn’t even notice when they were throwing rocks at the baby ducks or when they tried to ‘borrow’ my kids sand toys. I finally had to say to my own two - within ear shot of her - “Sorry guys, there are very naughty kids here so we are going to have to leave now because there mom isn’t making them be good” - She then yelled out to them ‘DO YOU WANT TO SIT OUT’ but it was too little too late ~ THAT is when a person has a real problem!
I have been thinking about this as well. The very first “look she is a real person” thing my daughter did was at age 11 months, put a phone to her ear and talk. It was amazing to see because I didn’t teach her it, she just picked it up. I didn’t think I talked on the phone that much. I have now since realized that she probably picked it up from her daycare mom. (That’s my excuse for now.) Any new object that my daughter picks up is always first brought to her ear and used as a toy phone: sticks, rocks, paper-towel tubes, play hockey sticks, shoes, sippy cups… the list goes on and on. After testing its phone capabilities the object is then inserted in her mouth. I wonder if other generations of children picked up this pretend game at such an early age.
I remember my now 5 year old who learned early on, before she could really talk using words, that when I let her have the telephone to “talk” to grandma, she should take it and walk around the house with it. My 2 year old does the same thing now. They don’t just sit and talk. If they have the phone to their ears, they walk away from me. I suppose they learned that by example! I’ve never worried about being a distracted mom, though, since I don’t live for my phone, don’t have Facebook or Twitter on it. But the things they do learn these days. Like cameras - remember when we had to *wait* to have a picture developed? They say “chees” and then “I want to see!”
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I have thought about this several times too and agree with you! I caught myself on the phone a lot and am too limiting my cell phone time and going to just change my cell plan, there is no reason to need 3000 minutes and 1000 text…that is how I know I am using it way too much. Thank you for sharing,now I know I am not the only one:)
I’m more disturbed by the fact that my daughter has one of those pull toy phones with the rotary dials and receivers attached to the base, and doesn’t seem to have the slightest idea what it is. I tell her it’s a phone and he just looks at me like I’m crazy.
Then again, yesterday she took my camera and put it up to her ear. I told her “that’s not a phone sweetie, it’s a camera. It takes pictures.” She just looked at me, then at my cell that I use frequently to take her photo and gave me this face like “ummm…so does your phone.”
I make every attempt to keep the phone off when I’m with my kids. And if they’re in the car - I never talk on the phone.
I think it’s pathetic when you go to the playground on a Saturday and at least half of the parents are on their phones talking/texting. Hang up, people and BE with your kids.
My 17-month-old knows exactly what a phone is. Although what’s funny is if she’s pretending to talk on the phone she chatters away, but if you try to get her to talk to an actual person on the other end she doesn’t say a word.
Very interesting topic and discussion. I usually spend my drive time with the kids listening and singing to children’s music, but there are times I use it to make phone calls. I’ve thought to myself that it’s the only time my hands are literally free to make the call. Although to put myself in my kid’s shoes (or car seats), I bet that’s awfully boring for them.
I make an effort to be present with my children, although this post is giving me food for thought on how to do so even more… thanks!!!
I totally agree with you! It drives me nuts when I see a parent talking on their cell phone when they are walking with their kids - even if it is in a stroller to the park. That is prime time to discuss everything that they see (birds, flowers, airplanes, etc). I just wanna yell “Hang up!” (sorry for the rant)
I good friend of mine in the neighborhood goes on long walks with her kids, and she talks on her phone the entire time! My DH and I have always commented on the lost interact she has with him during that time. When our son is in the car we talk with him about what is going on, how his day was, etc. Usually if my husband and I are talking or singing to the radio we get told by our son to stop distracting him or he wants us to talk with him.
At home we have a land line so we do talk with someone calls, but only if it is a convient time; people know that we do screen our calls from time to time.
