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Been On A Date Recently?

Posted on June 11th, 2009 – 5:48 PM
By May Chen

07romance_190.jpgWe used to go on weekly dates, my husband and I.

The babysitter would waltz in, scoop up our baby and we’d run out the door. We could still hear the baby screaming as we rounded the corner but the guilt only lasted oh, about five minutes. A movie, dinner, or just sitting at a bar somewhere. Because of course, if you have a baby with you, you can’t. sit. at. a bar.

Then one baby turned into two. The hourly babysitting rate jumped from $8 to $11, then $12. It got so expensive we cut back to once every few months. Then never.

Now that the girls are three and five, it’s harder than ever to have a real conversation at dinner. They understand things. They’re always chiming in. All the more why we need time away!

Luckily, we found a teenager on the next block. She loves the girls and the girls love her back. (At $6 an hour!)

Now we’re date-nighting again. It’s not Air Force One ferrying us to a Broadway show and dinner in New York. (More like a cramped Jetta ride to Eat Street.) But it feels like it.

(If you missed the president and first lady’s night out sans kids last week and therefore have no idea what I’m waffling on about, here’s an account to make you sigh: If they can find time for date night…”)

Coincidentally, Cribsheet regular Lucie Amundsen’s mother-in-law just landed at their home in Duluth.

Next thing you know, she’s kicking them out of the house for some romantic time. (This happened yesterday evening.) I asked Lucie for a detailed report of what transpired.

“Even though I know Jason wanted to see Angel and Demons, he insisted we go to the Star Trek movie, which made me feel all gushy towards him. (It was very good, but there was a bunch of lines on the screen the whole time which made it hard to suspend reality - that, and the screen was just slightly bigger than my mac.) Then we went to Barnes & Noble and touched all the books we couldn’t afford.

It was very nice and I’m glad I cleaned the car before. It made it feel extra datey.”

Do you do date night?

14 Responses to "Been On A Date Recently?"

Kay Krhin says:

June 11th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

We try for once a month - but that doesn’t always happen.
I am completely charmed by the trailer for “Away We Go” preggo/road trip movie.
It’s inspiring me to call the babysitter and go to a real non-Netflix, Red Box, first run movie!

Katie says:

June 11th, 2009 at 9:25 pm

No - 3 kids and it is too much. Not just about paying the babysitter $12 an hour… also about the days of cleaning the house for the babysitter - by the time we get out I am too crabby. With no babysitting relatives within reach we are on our own.

We have found a fun “family date night” … visiting the restaurants that have free kids meals - meaning we dine on Sunday and Tuesday nights…. at least I don’t have to cook or clean the house - enough for me for the time being.

Katy says:

June 12th, 2009 at 9:13 am

After a pay cut, babysitting was something we decided could be cut from the budget…one more thing to thank the economy for!

But on Valentine’s Day, we made a point of getting the kids in bed early, making a slightly more glamorous meal than usual (although nothing terribly complicated or time-consuming), and NOT watching a DVD, but instead talking and playing games. It was AWESOME. A real eye-opener to how good a substitute an “in-house” date can be if you really make it a priority to focus on each other and not on a screen.

Laura says:

June 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am

yes. Sometimes, if we feel low on funds, our date night is the late morning movie (the cheapest) and lunch. If my sister has our daughter overnight we will have a nice, non-food throwing, relaxing dinner (we even get to leave without apologies to the server about the mess), a DVD and late night talks.

Missy @ The Marketing Mama says:

June 12th, 2009 at 10:55 am

We try, but the truth is it’s only every other month or so that we get out without the kids. This past week we had a babysitter so we could do some power shopping together. So I guess you could say eating outside at Chipotle and trying on clothes together at the mall is quality time. :)

robin marty says:

June 12th, 2009 at 1:18 pm

ok, this is making me really sad.

Any mom on cribsheet who wants a date night, drop me a line. If you want to drop your darlings over to play with my toddler, I’ll watch then and you can go on a date. Then you don’t need babysitter cash or to clean your home. I’m in NE Minneapolis, about a 10 minute drive from Erte. On Tuesday nights they have half price bottle of wine. Dinner for two with wine is about $50+tip.

I’m very serious about this. Send me an email.

Sherry says:

June 12th, 2009 at 2:07 pm

What a phenomenal, big-hearted response, Robin.

Kim @ I Want a Minivan says:

June 12th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Robin, I was just thinking the same thing. Imagine if we could figure out who is where and just trade off.

And by the way, Erte is great, so take Robin up on her offer!

Kim says:

June 12th, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Robin, aren’t you sweet!

I’m very lucky to have lots of relatives close by. We try to have a dinner out or a movie once a month. Our last date was actually a play at the Guthrie! Sometimes it’s just drinks for happy hour, but it’s always so fun to hang out together and not be so distracted by the kids. This reminds me we’re about due for a night out soon!

JAnnie says:

June 13th, 2009 at 12:15 am

Now that the weather is so great the backyard patio make for great al freso candlelight dining and vino…hmm, am I in Italy or my suburban digs? Lots of Italian delis/markets offer pre-cooked meals that make a quick dinner easy. Add the portable DVD player (or laptop) for an outdoor movie night under the stars…Kind of a modern day drive-in!

jodie says:

June 15th, 2009 at 10:57 am

Perfect timing! We just signed up on care.com to find a local sitter and we’ll be interviewing this week. We have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old, and darn it, I need time away! Or even just time to work in my garden.

May says:

June 15th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Robin, we tried out Erte on Friday and it was a lot of fun. PACKED. In a good way. Lots of energy and food was good.

Renae says:

June 16th, 2009 at 8:56 am

I just paid $40 to join SitterCity and then another $12 an hour for someone to watch my (one!) child. Insanity!! I can’t imagine what our lives would be like with family nearby. As it is I just wait for relatives to come visit then husband and I bolt out the door and cram in as much “date time” as we can! We have even planned our summer vacation around who we think might babysit a night or two so we can go out. By the way- as soon as your child is 16 months you can drop them at Club Kid in Edina- I’ve heard a lot of good things about it and at 8.50 an hour (for a toddler), it beats the babysitter, on our block at least..