There was discussion in the previous post of how to get your kids to bed these long summer evenings. Here’s another question - once you finally collapse in bed how do exhausted parents decide who gets up to check on them if they wake up? For example…

It’s 2 a.m. You are deliciously and deservedly fast asleep.
A piercing “WAAAAAH!” fills the night air. The toddler must have had a bad dream, needs a drink of water or perhaps rolled out of bed.

You are now wide awake, frozen, waiting to see if it is just a passing cry or if they’ll lull themselves right back to sleep.
There’s another good reason not to move.
Is your spouse awake? Is he/she playing ‘possum feigning sleep until the other throws the covers aside and bumps their way through the dark?

Some whisper and rationalize who did more that day.
“I worked overtime and then went to the grocery store and mailed those packages to your parents today. I need my rest. ”
“But I need to get up extra early to drop the kids off at daycare and get to my morning meeting on time. I need my rest.”
“I went through 20 hours of labor. I need my rest.”
Okay, maybe that last one wasn’t fair.
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Ah, mid-night martyrdom.

The thing is, most of the time you’re both awake anyway and won’t get back to sleep until the other comes to bed.

I know most of these scenarios have played out in one way or another in our house. Obviously, if it’s an urgent or terrified cry one of us bolts to their bedside.

I try to put myself in the child’s shoes. I remember feeling much more secure if mom or dad came to comfort me when I had a bad dream of Jaws, Bigfoot or aliens chasing me. (nightmares from the ’70’s).

Sometimes the child decides for you. Whomever they are crying out for is the clearly chosen one. “Mama!” or “Dada!”

Then there’s the obvious - take turns.

How do you determine who gets up in the middle of the night?

Just wanted to share this contest voting link with our Cribsheeters. We’ve been hosting the “Reel ‘Em In” contest on StarTribune.com and I was surprised to see the majority of the Top 10 finalists were kids and their fish! I was expecting to see a bunch of adults with their lunkers.
But when you go look at the pictures they are awfully cute.
Take a look (and vote!) here.

We haven’t taken our kids fishing yet - how very un-Minnesotan of us.
I’m okay with putting the worms on the hook - not so good at getting the fish off of the hook.
(especially the sunnies and bluegills - I get spiked by their fins every time -I just don’t have the magic touch.)

So you have any good kid fish tales to tell?

So we haven’t had a “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ post on Cribsheet yet. I have only seen glimpses of the show and quickly turned it because it stressed me out too much. Besides, watching anything on TV before collapsing on the couch for the 10:00 news is a rarity. However it did also put our life in perspective - life with two little ones is a piece of cake compared to the motions they need to go through to get through each day. (Which is why I’m assuming the show is so popular). Have a tough day? Turn that show on and sigh, “At least we’re not them….” They’ve been plastered all over magazine covers recently and now we know the inevitable “big announcement” they made last night was - they are getting a divorce.

But their story puts the spotlight on a topic we haven’t discussed on Cribsheet yet. Divorce. Already a heartwrenching decision. But when there are kids involved everything is intensified. I know many of our readers have been touched by divorce first-hand and can give a personal perspective.

What is your opinion? Stay together for the sake of the kids, or break up and get out of an unhappy marriage?

What do you give a Stay-At-Home Dad for Father’s Day?

I mean, it’s a dilemma, isn’t it.

Fathers who work outside the home don’t see their kids enough. So naturally, on Father’s Day, they get to spend all day surrounded by their little people - pancakes for breakfast, etc. Or at least that’s what’s expected.

In our case, my husband spends all his time with the kids. So for Father’s Day, he got to go out to a Twins game with his brother Friday night.

I guess it was more like Father’s Weekend. The next day (actually Father’s Eve), we had dinner with his mom, sister, brother and their families. At a steak house. Over suitably masculine steaks, we reminisced about fathers present and absent.

My father-in-law, who died five years ago, still looms large in the family’s consciousness. My own father, who is alive and well, lives halfway across the world in Malaysia. We see him once a year.

The kids at the table - aged 3 to 8 - were each invited to say something about their dads. “I love you, Daddy!” beamed our five-year-old. Our three-year-old was more brief, more serious. “Thank you,” she said solemnly. Yes, thank you. 

We got home and called my father. It was our Saturday night, dark outside. But for him, it was already Sunday morning.

“Hi Kong-kong!” the girls shouted, calling him by the Chinese name for grandfather.

Now my father is a little deaf. And our speaker phone is not very clear. The girls yelled “Happy Father’s Day!” three times before he got it. He giggled happily.

“Ei? You know who Kong-kong is?” he asked in mock surprise. It’s the girls’ turn to giggle.

By the time Father’s Day actually rolled around on Sunday, we were exhausted.

Here’s Maya’s Father’s Day card - Daddy (left), Maya (right). 

What did you do for Father’s Day?

Happy Father’s Day!

Here are some paternal type links for you this overcast Sunday.
Wise advice from father’s from Saturday’s Variety section - “Dad’s Keys to Life”
A poem written by St Paul father, Todd Boss “This Morning in a Morning Voice”
that Laurie Hertzel mentioned in Sunday’s Books section .
And an oldie but a goodie that I dusted off from the web that makes me laugh every time. Ian Frazier’s “Lamentations of the Father.”