It sure was a conversation stopper. When my friend, oh, let’s call her D., let slip over dinner that she was still nursing her four-year-old, our collective jaws dropped. Mind you, this was a table of four other nursing moms, except our babies were still, well, babies. (Though one midwife friend swears it’s not unusual for preschoolers to still be nursing; she says she sees it all the time.) Here’s D. explaining in her own words….

When I was pregnant with my son, I went to all the pre-birth classes I could find. One of the classes was on breastfeeding and I remember the woman who led the class saying that she was STILL breastfeeding her 5-year-old. I thought: “How weird is that?” Even though I believed in all the benefits of breastfeeding, that seemed over the top (there must be some psychological problem with this mother and her child!). Go figure that four years later I still breastfeed my just-turned 4-year-old.

I certainly didn’t plan it that way. I breastfed exclusively during my son’s first year. Once he switched over to solid foods. I continued to breastfeed because he continued to ask for it, but I limited it to just twice a day - before his nap (I work from home) and at night before going to bed. I just thought he would naturally stop wanting my breast as he got older. Plus whenever I suggest stopping or skipping a night, he gets really upset….”I WANT BOOBY!” I just haven’t had the heart to turn it into some huge traumatic event for him.

So I started reading up on how to wean your child. I learned there’s really no right age to stop. Every child is unique and the best time to stop is when either mother or child is ready. I also read that there’s no emotional issues associated with breastfeeding an older child (they may actually have an easier time with independence later on) and it’s only OUR society that doesn’t embrace it.

At this point with my son, it has nothing to do with him being hungry. Now it’s all about comfort and closeness - a couple of minutes is all he wants. It helps him transition to bedtime mode. Just part of the routine along with brushing teeth and reading a story.

How long will we continue? As long as he wants.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for breastfeeding. My Maya, just turned one, still looks at me as she would a yummy snack, and I would have absolutely, definitely shown up for the Delta Airlines Nurse-In last year if I had heard of it in time.

But this. Jennifer Baumgardner writes in the hyper-trendy Babble.com about the time a girlfriend asked if they could nurse each other’s babies. I… well, read it for yourself. Then get back on Cribsheet pronto and tell us what you think. Because I’d like to know I’m not the only prude around here…

Note: You might notice that Babble.com has a feature called - tada! - Cribsheet. For the record, our Cribsheet started in September 2006 and Babble launched in mid-December.Â

As I type, I am at hour 48 of not nursing. I’m in the slow process of weaning my baby. It is time, but I have mixed emotions about this endeavor.

Part of me is all for it. I’ve been nursing nearly 11 months and I admit, I do want my body back. I would love to wear just one bra when I run, to stop spraying like a faulty showerhead and I want them to deflate - lose some PSI. (sorry, just got new tires, seemed to be an appropriate analogy.) Plus Ben is now a champ at sleeping through the night. I finally feel like the fog is lifting, I have some semblance of my old self. It’s time to reclaim me - and my gals.

I’ve been following his cues.  Ben is a busy baby moving on to new and exciting things. He’s become proficient with finger foods and the sippy cup and has been taking wobbily baby steps for several weeks now. There are so many other things to learn and do that he has been losing interest in nursing. Christmas is just around the corner, with all of the distractions and excitement it brings - now just seemed like a natural break. I admit to walking around humming… All I want for Christmas is my two front teats.

At the same time, I also feel a profound sense of sadness. There is a feeling of emptiness and loss about this whole process. It was precious bonding time that no one can take away. I’m thankful for that time, all of those moments, even at 2 am. Now it’s time for new bedtime rituals, books and lullabies.

Although I feel a sense of loss, I don’t feel guilt. I’ve done the best I could to get him off to a healthy start in his first months. I’ve had friends run the spectrum of nursing for three days to three years or not at all. Their babies all are just fine. As with so many decisions dealing with parenting you do what works best for you and your baby.

I also realize that this is just one of the first of many lessons I will learn as a parent. Letting go.

 

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Cribsheet heard about the national nurse-in too late to rush over and participate (dang!). But Strib reporter Sue Peterson was at Minneapolis-St.Paul Airport Tuesday morning for the protest against Delta Airlines, which had ejected a nursing mother from a commuter flight. Her truncated observations ran in a national story in the paper Wednesday. Here’s what ended up on the Strib’s equivalent of the cutting room floor:

It wasn’t a total bust, but only a small contingent of nursing moms turned up.

Andrea Marrapodi of Minneapolis was there with daughter Zora, 18 months, She called Delta’s 800 number Monday and was told the ariline’s policy is to allow breast-feeding “as long as they’re being discreet and they cover the baby with a blanket.

That’s not acceptable, Marrapodi and two other protesting moms said Tuesday, camped out on a bank of seats in front of the Delta ticket counter.

“We’re not expected to eat with a blanket over our heads,” and babies shouldn’t either, said Barbara Morgan, mother of 12-week-old Maya, who was nursing inside a sling baby carrier. “Breast-feeding is not supported and encouraged enough, given the benefits to babies and mothers….(This) is just one more reason for families to be discouraged from breast-feeding their babies.”

Rebecca Aylesforth of Minneapolis said a blanket isn’t practical. “She whips it off,” said Aylesforth, mother of 9-month-old Sophia Paulson. a wiggly, giggly charmer. “That just calls more attention to us.”

Aylesforth and Morgan said they’d no trouble nursing on Northwest and other airlines’ flights. Northwest spokesman Kurt Ebenhoch said: “We rely on our customers to use their good judgement and be respectful and sensitive to their fellow passengers.”

Susan E. Peterson (612) 673-4506

The holiday party season is officially upon us. This means free-flowing wine and festive cocktails at most gatherings. So, what is a nursing mom to do? Say “no” to the nog or join in the holiday spirits? 

There is so much conflicting information out there veiled in ambiguity when it comes to the subject of alcohol and breastfeeding. Should the nursing mom feel guilty if she has the occasional glass of wine or beer? Enter Milkscreen an at-home system that claims to detect alcohol in your breast milk. The box contains six test strips that were developed by two mothers from Austin, TX. They state  “We created Milkscreen to provide mothers with the peace of mind that the milk baby drinks is alcohol free.” Intrigued and curiously skeptical May and I set out to do a little Cribsheet product testing of our own…  

We met at  Beaujo’s Wine Bar & Bistro, a warm and friendly little spot near 50th & France. I sat at a high top perusing the wine list and May sidled up on the stool next to mine with a box of Milkscreen strips in hidden in her purse. Our covert operation had begun. Along with some dinner we each ordered a glass of white wine. It was so pleasant to kick back, relax and converse outside of the office. It almost felt indulgent to have a few hours to ourselves for mom’s night out.  

But we kept our mission in mind. We had synchronized our watches when our wine arrived at the table. After one hour and exactly 1.5 glasses of Pinot Grigio I made my way back to the restroom with a secret sly smile on my face.  I discovered there was only one unisex bathroom, and of course there was a line. Dang! I let person after person go ahead of me. They were probably thinking I was merely Minnesota nice. What they didn’t know was that I just didn’t know how long it was going to take for me to muster up a few drips for the strip and didn’t want to hold up the line. Finally I got some privacy behind closed doors. I got the job done and er, soaked the strip. The directions said to wait 2 minutes, and if the end of the strip turned blue, there was alcohol present in your milk supply. Yep. Blue.  I went back to the table and warned May about the line. She hid the Milkscreen package in her palm and set out to do the same. She came back with the same result from 1.5 glasses of a nice South African Sauvignon Blanc. Blue.

After we went home I did one more test before bed, 3 hours after finishing my wine. Nothing. No blue at all. According to research studies, alcohol potency peaks about 30 to 60 minutes after consuming, and 60 to 90 minutes when consumed with food. The average woman metabolizes one drink within approximately two hours. There are all kinds of variables, of course, but my results seemed to be in line. The Milkscreen strip indicated it was indeed safe to nurse again.

So what do we make of the results? Spendy. May and I split the bill out of pocket on a box of six Milkscreen strips. They retail online for $19.95 + $10 for a rush shipment (hey, we were anxious to go out!) So at an average of almost $5.00 per strip - would we buy them again? Maybe, but only as a novelty shower gift. For our own use? No. Seems a good rule of thumb is if you feel tipsy - don’t breastfeed. If you are concerned - go ahead and try Milkscreen to give you peace of mind.  Just use common sense, combined with time, moderation and a back up plan. Cheers!

If you are/were a nursing mother - what do you do when it comes to the cocktails?

 

Further information/articles on the subject:

lalecheleague

kellymom

about.com

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