So. After my anti-candy, anti-consumerism post last week, I have to admit Halloween was…quite…fun.

There. I said it.

I was at work too late to catch the little kids coming to our door, but soon as I reached home, my husband zipped our toddler up in her green spotted frog costume (a hand-me-down) and headed out. I stayed home with the baby to wait for trick-or-treaters. We had a fun time dancing and peering out the window, opening the door every so often to hand out candy, as I mumbled under my breath “Open mind, open mind.”

The frog came home, eyes bright, cheeks red from the cold and jiggling a brown bag of candy. She was allowed two pieces. She ate three.

The first thing she said this morning: “Where’s my candy?”

When I was researching the “Parting Gifts” post my brother began ranting about snacks after soccer games and how it’s spiralled out of control. I wonder if he has started ghost writing, because this article sounds exactly like him.

 Is it just me?

I didn’t grow up with Halloween. The Hungry Ghosts Festival, yes, but not Halloween. So when I married my Minnesotan husband and moved here, I announced I would not hand out candy. The whole idea of encouraging kids to hoard candy just seemed….wrong. I mean, isn’t this country in the throes of an obesity epidemic? At least with the Hungry Ghosts, it’s the ghosts that you offer sticky gummy treats to so their teeth stick together and they don’t carry tales of your misdeeds up to the gods in heaven. Or something like that. I may have gotten my Chinese folk tales mixed up.

For our first Halloween, I decided this household would give out dried fruit instead. My husband slapped his forehead and worried we would be ostracized. Then I found out how much dried fruit costs. That put an end to that idea. When the time came, I meekly doled out M&M’s and mini Mars bars.

And then there’s all that money for costumes that kids only wear once. Maybe I should have a better attitude, like Kay. Last year, the cow suit I grabbed for my two-year-old at Target last was too small (check out the stretched fabric around her butt). What do you mean why didn’t I return it? Who has time?? Though said costume did give me the opportunity to use this line to excuse myself early from last year’s Halloween block party: “My cow has gone home….”

And now I read that Halloween’s become a shopping season in its own right. Holy Hungry Ghosts!

I was raised in a subdued Scandanavian blend household. The non-confrontational, don’t make waves or emote too loudly kind of home.

So the other day when I found myself screaming.“THANKS SO MUCH FOR WAKING UP MY SLEEPING BABY!!!!!” out my door across our quiet road in the general direction of the roving door-to-door evangelists who rang our doorbell and pounded on the door henceforth waking up said child from a hard fought slumber- it surprised me a bit. And the evangelists too apparently. The Baby-Wakers stopped in their tracks, gathered up their black coats and briefcases and sped away in their car. I had to sit down for a minute on the couch afterwards and ask myself - “where did that come from?” My inner “Mama Bear” fight had officially come out of hibernation. The powerful primal force from deep within…protecting your young. 

Have you had an inner Mama/Papa Bear moment that surprised, shocked, or perhaps made you swell with pride? Do tell.Â

Birthday party goodie bags, gift bags, treat bags, parting gifts, kiddie swag bags, whatever you call them - I had no idea they existed or were such a hot button topic with parents these days.

I was talking to my sister-in-law in Illinois the morning of my niece’s birthday party. She was hurrying around shopping for trinkets and assembling last minute gift bags for the party attendees. One more added stress to a day full of organizing a party with 10 little kids. I was like - “gift bags, what are you talking about?”

Not to sound like a geezer, but “back in my day” we had old school birthday parties. Kool-Aid in Dixie cups, sheet cake and maybe a rousing game of musical chairs. We might have walked away with a small party prize or favor. Perhaps a pack of Charlie’s Angels trading cards (with that crunchy, powdery, stale bubblegum strip) or a little Bonne Bell LipSmacker.  But full blown gift bags? Never.

My niece’s party was at an all-inclusive party mecca. This place included: go-carting, mini-putting, tokens for a video arcade then, pizza and cake in the party room. And then they get parting gift bags on top of that. Isn’t the party and spending an afternoon having fun with friends the gift? 

Apparently not. She said that it’s the norm, it’s expected and the kids will walk right up and say “Where’s my goodie bag?” as soon as they get to the party.

I wondered if this was just an Illinois phenomenon. So I sent out an e-mail asking my “Cribsheet field correspondents” to report in on b-day goodie bags.

Within minutes my in-box was full of rants about the parting gift bag madness - here are just a few:

ML: Parting gifts are a loathsome element of new-generation parties, whoever started it should get the spanking, not the birthday child. Yes they are the norm now, and I hate it when my kids come home with another plastic bag filled with little plastic toys that break within minutes, plus candy - like the sugar in their system isn’t already through the roof from the party itself…

LS: Treat bags are annoying to all parents! That crappy little plastic bag of useless pencils and plastic rulers is the worst idea ever! One year I sent kids home with a Jiffy Pop popcorn tied with a ribbon. Now I wrap a Pringles can with the childs name, attach a balloon to the lid and use it as a placecard/favor.

BW: We stopped doing the treat bags when the kids were 7 or 8 but they definately expect them. I told a 6-year old neighbor we were inviting him to our son’s party. The first thing he asked was what are you giving out in the treat bags?

AF:  Kids have definately come to expect them. At my son’s most recent party I even had siblings of kids (who only came to pick up the big sibling) expecting them.

Again, these were just a few of the comments. Parents were passionate about the subject, both on the giving and receiving end.  How do you all feel about them? When did party favors become party obligations? Do you have creative solutions?

Maybe all of us new parents should make a pact not to continue the trend - our kids would be none the wiser…