My friend Sonali, who had a baby before I did, uttered these wise words early on: there’s nothing purer than a child’s relationship with their grandparents.

Or something like that.

I didn’t really understand until I had my own two. Now I know exactly what she means.

It’s a bond that’s open and unquestioning, filled with delight and pleasure, while our own relationships with our parents, no matter how close, are complicated by decades of life and all the stuff that comes with living.

I thought about this when I read this essay. (Thanks, Matt, for flagging it.)

It’s one dad’s meditation on his young son and his own father, with whom the author had a difficult relationship. It ran in the New York Times last weekend.

Made me tear up.

Over breakfast this morning, I showed Maya, 3, the picture that accompanied this article in the New York Times: “When do they need a fig leaf?”

She looked at the cute three-year-old in the picture, cavorting joyfully naked through a forest of (dressed) grownup legs, and smiled.

“Look at her hands!” she said.

I loved that. I loved that what struck her was not the lack of clothes, but that the kid was dancing with hands stretched out. I hope she never loses that.

Of course she will.

And it’ll probably be because of me. The story is about kids who like to be bare and their parents’ comfort (discomfort) level with that. Or the grandparents’ comfort level. A naked three-year-old who won’t put on her clothes is cute. But what about a five-year-old? A nine-year-old?

I have to admit that I call away my own five-year-old when, fresh from her bath, she stands by the front door, peering out through the screen door. Yet I’ll blithely change them out of their swimsuits by a public wading pool. Not sure if there’s any real logic there….but there’s always a nagging sense of….something.

I’m less worried about propriety than the fact there may be someone watching whom you don’t want to be watching. Just a slight nagging sense. Not too much but enough to think about.

Cribsheeters? Any little nudists in your home? What do you think is the appropriate upper age limit?

I’ve spent the past two weeks touring the maternity wings of four hospitals - Ridgeview in Waconia, Fairview Southdale, HCMC and Woodwinds in Woodbury.

As my brother-in-law Bob would say: HOLY BUCKETS! 

Here’s what women who give birth in those facilities can look forward to, thanks to renovations all within the last two years: Birthing jacuzzis in the bathrooms, surround sound, and an in-room massage the day after. Want a baby pic? Call in a portrait photographer. They will even photoshop those funny red marks on junior’s head for a studio-quality portrait.

Birthing in Brno it wasn’t.

It’s all part of a major marketing offensive for women customers. After all, childbirth is usually the first time a woman is hospitalized. If she has fond memories, the thinking goes, then she’ll come back throughout her life, and bring her husband, kids and her own parents too.

I certainly didn’t have any of these frills when I gave birth three and five years ago. The first time was in Scottsdale, Az., where we were living at the time and the second was at Methodist Hospital in St. Louis Park. (Funny story: Kay and I both had the same OB, even though we met for the first time AFTER we had our babies….cue Twilight Zone music…)

Unlike the parents I talked to, I did not tour multiple hospitals. I just picked the hospital my OB delivered at, and just showed up. The only birth plan I had was to eat a good meal before going in and not wait too long to ask for an epidural. Oh, and to never do the Petocin thing again. Ouch. 

Still, seeing the hospitals - those tubs look fun! - and checking out the cute scrunched up babies in the nurseries, did give my heart and my womb a slight twinge. I’m 38 so it’s now or never. (Note to husband: just kidding.)

Click here for the story.

Cribsheeters, where did you deliver? Did you shop around? In the end, how did you make your decision? What would you have done differently?

We used to go on weekly dates, my husband and I.

The babysitter would waltz in, scoop up our baby and we’d run out the door. We could still hear the baby screaming as we rounded the corner but the guilt only lasted oh, about five minutes. A movie, dinner, or just sitting at a bar somewhere. Because of course, if you have a baby with you, you can’t. sit. at. a bar.

Then one baby turned into two. The hourly babysitting rate jumped from $8 to $11, then $12. It got so expensive we cut back to once every few months. Then never.

Now that the girls are three and five, it’s harder than ever to have a real conversation at dinner. They understand things. They’re always chiming in. All the more why we need time away!

Luckily, we found a teenager on the next block. She loves the girls and the girls love her back. (At $6 an hour!)

Now we’re date-nighting again. It’s not Air Force One ferrying us to a Broadway show and dinner in New York. (More like a cramped Jetta ride to Eat Street.) But it feels like it.

(If you missed the president and first lady’s night out sans kids last week and therefore have no idea what I’m waffling on about, here’s an account to make you sigh: If they can find time for date night…”)

Coincidentally, Cribsheet regular Lucie Amundsen’s mother-in-law just landed at their home in Duluth.

Next thing you know, she’s kicking them out of the house for some romantic time. (This happened yesterday evening.) I asked Lucie for a detailed report of what transpired.

“Even though I know Jason wanted to see Angel and Demons, he insisted we go to the Star Trek movie, which made me feel all gushy towards him. (It was very good, but there was a bunch of lines on the screen the whole time which made it hard to suspend reality - that, and the screen was just slightly bigger than my mac.) Then we went to Barnes & Noble and touched all the books we couldn’t afford.

It was very nice and I’m glad I cleaned the car before. It made it feel extra datey.”

Do you do date night?

Even though it may feel like an eternity; you’re in maternity clothes for such a short time, why spend a fortune on a new wardrobe?
Or do you have a closet full of nice maternity clothes you are never going to wear again? Here’s you opportunity to cash in!

John Ewoldt shares info on consignment stores that focus on dressing the growing belly. Check out these stores that John profiled in his Dollars & Sense column.

Bellies to Babies (6638 Penn Av. S., 612-869-0164)
(Plus Bellies to Babies has special occasion dress rental! Genius. I sure could have used that when I was pregnant instead of spending my money on a dress I wore once!)

And

Nine (5456 Nicollet Av. S., 612-827-8144)

You can read his article here and learn about more about other consignment shops that feature maternity clothes.

What are/were some of your maternity clothes favorites or staples? And where did you shop?