“I’m a-gonna drive my car” but maybe not to see Laurie Berkner play at the the State Theater October 5. At these ticket prices, our favorite guitar-strumming kids’ music songstress is going to have a lot more than “Choc-a-lot in her Pock-a-lot” afterwards.

Kara McGuire of Ka-blog sent this rant to Cribsheet’s in-box:

Laurie Berkner concert would cost a family of four:

US $32.50 x 4

Convenience Charge
US $8.55 x 4

Building Facility Charge
US $2.50 x 4

It’s insane. It’s offensive.

I know that kids artists should also make a living, but when you factor in paying for adult tickets and the parking and the lunch beforehand, that’s a mini-vacation.

What do you think, Cribsheeters?

Here are my recent trivial shopping cart tribulations.

Two separate shopping trips.

Two separate shopping cart troubles.

It all stems from the fact that Vivi’s grown out of her  “car seat baby bucket.” That baby bucket  - the reason for many visits to the masseuse. Those awkward seats can really throw you off kilter.  But I have to say, that thing clicked into just about any shopping cart like a charm. Now I’m finding that not all stores can accomodate a sitting baby and a toddler for strolling in a cart.

#1) I went to Kowalski’s recently to pick up some things for a BBQ. It’s a smaller store so they don’t have those awesome “car” carts to stroll around in.  What to do?  They did have mini shopping carts - so I attempted a maiden voyage. Ben - pushing a cart by himself in a well-appointed grocery store. Let’s just say- not. a. good. idea. This fan of Thomas the Train thought it would be a good idea to shunt everything and every display in his way.  (”Shunting” is one of the new train terms I’ve learned from the Thomas series. File it under words that sound dirty on the Island of Sodor that aren’t…)  He started by shunting the cart right into my Achilles tendon.  Ow. Then he shunted the personal size watermelon display. Luckily none came toppling down. Oh, this was going to be a difficult grocery trip. We made it out alive, especially after the nice baker came up to Ben and offered him a cookie. This distracted him enough to make it through the checkout line. Thanks nice baker lady!

#2) My next shopping cart tale came from a trip to Super Target for much needed diapers.  I had gotten used to grabbing those monsterous extended shopping carts  that accomodate Ben sitting down in the toddler seat and clicking Vivian into the handlebar area.  So my first trip to Target sans baby bucket was surprising.  I found the enormous shopping cart as usual but was shocked to find the area where she was supposed to sit and dangle her legs was screwed shut with a piece of red plastic. All of the big carts were like that. (I don’t know why. I’ve asked many a Target customer service rep and they shrugged their shoulders. I’m assuming it’s a safety issue). Which is fine but -  there I was holding a baby with no place to put her.  I wasn’t about to turn around and leave. I needed those size 3 Pampers Cruisers, and I needed them now!

Yes, I did consider putting Vivian in the front and having Ben tumble around freely in the cart. But there was a little sign with an “X” through a  picture of that very scenario on the front of the cart. I didn’t want to break the rules.

So being a mother of invention - I found a solution and managed to look like a complete idiot while doing so. I put Vivian in one cart feet dangling and Ben in another - got between the carts and pushed one while I pulled the other behind me. I think I took up an entire length of a shopping aisle as I plodded through the store.  Being a SuperTarget, I had to walk nearly a quarter of a mile to the furthest corner of the store to aquire my box ‘o diapers. Cardio requirement for the day. Check.

So lessons learned - no individual pint size carts for Ben, bring the double stroller, call in back up support, or best case scenario - shop alone whenever possible!

I have always dreaded the Wednesday night of  Aquatennial and try to get out of work as early as possible.  You see, that is the night that the clowns congregate in the Star Tribune parking lot before the annual Aquatennial Torchlight Parade. 

They descend upon the main  parking lot around 5:00-5:30 and ride around in their little clown cars. Up and down and up the aisles practicing figure 8’s and circles and beeping their little clown horns. 

A few years ago I almost backed over one as he zipped by.  All I saw in my rearview mirror was the top of his curly red hair and heard the little honk of his little clown horn.

My boss had a frightening moment when she was backing out. All of a sudden (cue Psycho music) a clown appeared in her drivers side window pounding on it saying “Hey -don’t hit my clown car!!!” Horrifying! I would’ve burned rubber outta there.  Screeeeech ….

So if you haven’t already gathered - clowns creep me out. I blame the clown in Poltergeist for scarring me for life, or maybe it was John Wayne Gacy. These days I’m sure images of Heath Ledger’s “Joker” are making an impression on an entirely new generation - creating a whole new batch of coulrophobes . (yes - those with fear of clowns)

I worked late yesterday, walked out to the parking lot and saw a handful of clowns conversing near my car.  I faced my fears, took a deep breath and marched right on over to them for my very own brand of immersion therapy.

(more…)

Forty.  I entered this new decade at 7 am this morning.

So far, so good. (aside from Vivian’s diaper blowout in the exersaucer - Happy Birthday mom!)

I am now officially in the demographic of “More”  magazine. 10 years away from AARP membership. A new number to type into the computer when the treadmill asks me “Age?” A new box to check on surveys.  And I already find myself borrowing my co-workers “cheaters” to read reports at work.

Got an opportunity to channel the twenty year old me again on Saturday night. We had an 80’s themed 40th party @ Park Tavern. It was easy to revert back to. My haircut is pretty much the same, sans Sun-In  - just add some Sebastian Freeze shaper spray, slather on some “Zinc Pink” lipgloss , some leggings and I was good to go.

(I have a pic of May & I  in our 80’s duds- but my camera  is acting up -will post later)

The parents showed up at the party first - all with the same story -”You should have seen the babysitter’s face when I came to the door dressed like this.” Peter started talking to our babysitter about his thoughts of sporting the Don Johnson “Miami Vice” look. She just looked at him with a blank stare. I was like, “Honey, stop. She doesn’t know what you’re talking about, she wasn’t even born yet. ”

I usually want birthdays to slip under the radar - but when   birthday’s with a zero in them roll around it’s nice to be surrounded by friends. Turning 40 isn’t so bad, it’s just that the 30’s were so good and so life changing. It’s tough to let go. I went from single to married with 2 kids, a dog and a lot of fun memories in the past decade.

I know there are other Cribsheeters who’ve let me know I’m not alone in turning 40 this year.  Here’s some other people who have or will join us in the big 4-0.

Will Smith, Owen Wilson, Rachel Ray, Scully (Gillian Anderson), Ashely Judd, Gary Coleman, Hugh Jackman, Celine Dion -(wait I thought she was a long time ago?) uh, Vanilla Ice, Anthony Michael Hall (Sixteen Candles) and the Blonde Bond - Daniel Craig.

The best is yet to come.

Now, off to the zoo. We have a date with some swimming Grizzly bears.

This is a little beyond Cribsheet’s demographic but we know from some of your comments that some of you have older kids. Josephine Marcotty is writing a story for tomorrow’s paper and would love to talk to you (and your kids):

Teenagers, are you sitting still?
At age 9, kids are jumping beans. By age 15, they pretty much stop moving, a study shows. We’re looking for a few teenagers (and their parents) to talk about why it’s hard to stay active. Email Josephine Marcotty at marcotty@startribune.com or call (612) 673-7394.