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Does gardening bring people closer?

Posted on July 5th, 2007 – 12:00 PM
By Robyn Dochterman

I’ve often thought of gardening as an escape. Too many people? Too much driving in traffic? I retreat to the garden.

But a few days ago, I got a different perspective. We had an open house for the neighbors down our road, since they’ve watched us remodel for months and many had asked to see the results. Afterward, we took the dog for a walk, and a car coming toward us slowed way down.

The driver and his passenger were people we hadn’t met, but who lived nearby. They stopped and rolled down their window. As we talked, Bob and Mary realized they’d missed the open house.

“Oh, I really wanted to see your garden,” said Bob. I invited them by anytime to see my overgrown weed patch, and listened as he told me about his kitchen garden. Now we wave each time we see each other. It was a simple beginning. But it made me curious about the stories we as gardeners have to share about coming together.

Was gardening an open door to a new relationship for you? Have tomatoes helped you build community with your neighborhood? Does using Grandma’s old trowel make you feel closer to her? What gardening experiences have you shared with your kids? Are your friends also gardeners? Please tell your dirt, seed and weed stories.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 5th, 2007 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to "Does gardening bring people closer?"

sparklegirl says:

July 5th, 2007 at 1:24 pm

My husband and I have had a great relationship with our next-door neighbors ever since they moved in, but it’s really over gardening that S. and I bonded. We gripe together about the drought, pass cast-off plants back and forth to each other, share lawn/gardening equipment and get wildly jealous of each other’s new acquisitions (my new tomato trellises, her new deck planters, etc.). I’ve also found that gardening is like baseball: sometimes it’s the only common topic you have with a random cousin-in-law or work colleague, and it makes it oh-so-much easier to connect with them

On the other hand, my husband is NOT a gardener, and listening to me ramble on about it excessively is NOT necessarily bringing us closer. :)

Connie Nelson says:

July 5th, 2007 at 1:49 pm

I started a front yard garden a few years ago and I’m surprised how much it helps me connect with neighors, even passersby. I often get comments like “Nice garden,” or “Thanks for your work.” Once in a while, a hard-core gardener will stop and want to talk about cultivars, deadheading and dealing with boulevard soil. It’s pretty neat, really.

Gina says:

July 5th, 2007 at 9:53 pm

My “garden buddy” is a girl I have worked with for years but, for me, gardening has taken us from coworkers to friends. She has really taken me under her wing to teach and motivate me about gardening. Now, I find myself striking up conversations with just about anybody that even mentions plants of any kind.

Tending to my own new garden has also given me a new appreciation for the Daffodils that my deceased grandfather planted along both sides of the driveway of the house where my 90 year old grandmother still lives. They are very overgrown and don’t bloom nearly as much as the use to but realizing that something my grandfather planted over 30 years ago is still living makes me want to thin them, and bring some back to Chicago to plant in my garden.

Peter Hoh says:

July 5th, 2007 at 11:22 pm

Gardening has definitely helped me get to know my neighbors, whether or not they have gardens of their own.

Mary says:

July 6th, 2007 at 6:15 am

One early morning on my bus ride into work/Minneapolis I was talking with a friendly rider. Um I thought he must live near me if he’s riding the same bus–so I asked him where he lives from the house with the really nice gardens? The smirk on his face told me the answer–I just met the owner of prettiest gardens of our neighborhood! That was more than ten years ago. We are neighbors and friends. Turns out too, he is a wealth of plant information as he is a master gardener!

Annie says:

July 6th, 2007 at 9:35 am

My neighbor C and I have bonded on our monthly garden center outings! We had a great time picking up plants that would complement each of our homes. I also share my veggies with her family and have an “open door” policy when it comes to my herb garden. :) On a side note, my potatoes aren’t doing very well. The foliage is brown and what isn’t brown is spotted. Are these guys toast? Should I just throw in the towel, or can I still do something to help them? It’s an organic garden, so I don’t use pesticides. I pulled some up a couple of days ago and while small, they do appear healthy. Can these guys still survive when their foliage looks so icky? Thanks!

laura says:

July 6th, 2007 at 10:42 am

my neighbors and i talked a lot about plants and gardening when i first moved in. i dug up a plot in the back yard for my first garden since i was a child, and they offered me their extra tomato plants that they didnt have room for. since then i’ve learned about how to trim back some of my bushes and shared extra vegies from my garden with them. its nice to be able to lean over the fence and chat with them. they’re at least 40 years older than me and we might otherwise have nothing in common if it werent for our green thumbs.

Robyn Dochterman says:

July 6th, 2007 at 10:48 am

Hey Annie,

Wish I had a neighbor with an open door policy to her herb garden!

I don’t know enough about potato diseases (I’ll still beset with Colorado potato beetles, which are at least easy to identify). This link might help you diagnose it though: http://cals.arizona.edu/pubs/garden/mg/pathology/pepper.html (scroll down for potatoes)

ndgardengirl says:

July 6th, 2007 at 4:47 pm

My previous neighbor (and master gardener) got me interested in gardening. She took out all the grass in her backyard and planted an oasis of perennials and ornamental grasses. Beautiful … We would often get together in her garden (usually over a glass of Chardonnay) and talk plants. I’ve since moved and started a small garden of my own but we still talk and share ideas. It’s like our own little club. I love it!

bsimon says:

July 9th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

I’ve posted before about sharing plants; my father & step-mom visited two weeks ago - bringing another load of perennials with them. Dad and I spent a day converting more of our front slope from grass to garden. They brought a bunch of hosta (4 varieties / about a dozen plants), about a dozen iris (4 or 5 varieties), some ornamental grasses (4 clumps) and a couple other plants I can’t recall the names of. Another friend also brought over some ’spare’ hosta several weeks ago. We’ve given away a bunch of ferns to friends. In all cases, it adds to our relationships - being a little reminder of friends and family when things come up in the spring, or into bloom in summer, or when they’re split and passed on to the next recipient.

Sarah D. says:

July 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am

I’m sparkelgirl’s neighbor and I totally agree. Niether of our husband’s are too into our gardening. It’s great to be able to work together to cover a chain link fence with morning glories and nasturtiums. It’s also great to share recipes and homemade treats like jam and blueberry/lemonade cocktails. We’re really blessed.

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