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Garden Fashionista Part II »

The Garden Fashionista

Posted on July 11th, 2007 – 7:45 AM
By Jaime Chismar

Rain or shine, my special feline wake-up service starts at 6:00 a.m. with a stinky cat paw to the face. In the winter, I try to hide under the comforter. During the gardening season, I drag myself out of bed. Like it or not, 6:00 a.m. is the perfect time to water (not pet naughty cats).

Half asleep, I wander outdoors in rumpled hair and cat-hair covered pajamas like a gardening zombie. Instead of looking for brains, I’m looking for hose attachments (and ultimately a cup of coffee). Bending over the beds, I see a patch of crab grass. Then I have to pull the crab grass… and the suckers off the tomato plants, then the pepper plants. Suddenly, the compost needs to be turned, the pitch folks needs to be washed… And where did I put those new gardening gloves?

Soon it’s 8:30 a.m. and by now, my neighbors have seen much more than the plants in my garden. I’ve been running around the yard with no sunscreen, no bra and no coffee. My pajamas are filthy.

“Mornin’ Jaime!” My neighbor Jeff smiles and waves as he gets into his car. I feel my face turn red as bee balm. This is not the first time he’s caught me in unflattering attire.

On a good day, I go about my garden business in ratty jeans and a tank top. Some days, the BF has to remind me to take off my bike helmet and change out of my bike shorts. Other days, it’s like I’m at a casting call for Grey Gardens, prancing around the yard in a vintage dress, yoga pants, a headscarf and white shoes (Just call me Little Edie).

I can’t be the only absent minded gardener in the metro area. What do you wear to weed and water? Have your neighbors caught you in fashion faux pas? (I guess they should be happy I’m clothed. There’s a dude in England who gardens in a pink silk thong. Ew.)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 at 7:45 am and is filed under Tools, gloves, rain barrels + more. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

16 Responses to "The Garden Fashionista"

Beth B says:

July 11th, 2007 at 8:53 am

I can very much relate to the gardening in the PJs problem. Fortunately only one neighbor can see me if I stay in my back yard!

My worst offense is gardening in my workout clotes, which are not approved for the visual consumption of anyone outside my house - but I also sometimes get carried away!!

Judybusy says:

July 11th, 2007 at 10:25 am

Fortunately, our two next-door neighbors on either side are women who are good friends. One of them is routinely out watering at 6:45 as I am sitting around drinking coffee, thinking about weeding and deadheading some day. So we all see each other in the “best” attire! (Somehow, she manages to look stinking cute in a tank and yoga pants with rumpled hair….)

I have a pair of shorts and a tank top reserved especially for gardening. During the season, they get taken off, folded on a shelf and re-worn til filthy, then put in the wash, about once every three weeks.

(I dare not start anything on a weekday morning. Before I knew what happened, it would be noon and I’d have several messages on my machine from my boss….)

Sarah D. says:

July 11th, 2007 at 11:38 am

I have this flowered dress that breathes really well and a baseball cap I do a ton of gardening in. I do have to be careful though not to bend over too far or whoops the neighborhood gets to see my rump! If I’m going to be on my knees it’s usually jeans for me.

Nan says:

July 11th, 2007 at 11:53 am

My gramma always wore this wide brimmed straw hat in the garden. The fond memories of her in that hat bent over while weeding, deadheading and watering always bring a smile. Unfortunately, I doubt ANYone will remember with like fondness my black-knee’d knit pants. But I sure will hate to kiss my faded demin shirt goodbye someday. Won’t be too long now.

Jaime Chismar says:

July 11th, 2007 at 11:56 am

My neighbor caught me this morning in a ratty tank top and too-tight yoga pants.

“You must be a morning person,” she chirped too embarrassed to make eye contact.

Sigh.

Nan says:

July 11th, 2007 at 12:07 pm

Jaime, the day you attend to your garden in the most darling perfect attire, with every hair in place will be the day there is NO one to witness it!

Elsa says:

July 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm

There’s an apartment building two doors down whose upper windows have a good view into my backyard. One Saturday I got overly inspired to do yard work and didn’t bother to dress for it, and oh dear. When I looked up, I noticed two teenaged boys watching with great interest as I mowed my lawn sans brassiere… Now that I’ve learned my lesson, I’ll wander around in my PJs just to see how things look, but for any vigorous or extended activity I make sure I’m properly attired.

Jaime Chismar says:

July 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm

Nan, you crack me up! Seriously, what would “the most darling perfect attire” look like? I mean, most garden fashions look like you’re going on an African safari, not on your average weeding expedition.

I *did* see a cute garden skirt/toolbelt in this year’s Seed Savers catalog. It seemed kinda short for all the bending one does around the yard. I would be the perfect outfit for hungry mosquitoes…

Beth says:

July 11th, 2007 at 12:43 pm

Most of the time I wonder out in shorts with pockets (so I can bring my iPod along) and an old t-shirt. On some early mornings its sans bra too - much to the amusement (and embarassment) of my husband. Recently I wore my tankini top outside to weed and was chided by my teenager to “get some clothes on”.

I’ve been known to come home on my lunch hour wearing 2 inch heels and will weed and deadhead plants. I can’t help myself!

Nan says:

July 11th, 2007 at 12:45 pm

Remember the old tv shows and movies…you saw ladies in full skirts, heels, pearls with white gloved hands carrying those baskets abounding with flowers. Why did they think we’d ever buy June Cleaver gardening like that? I’d be perfectly happy to proclaim tank tops and too tight yoga pants the official gardening attire. Now that’s what I’d call a Reality Show.

kiwi9mm says:

July 11th, 2007 at 1:22 pm

Reality of my garden attire is rotation of two pair of old jeans with green and brown knees worn until they just about stand themselves up in the corner, and a slew of old t-shirts with the sleeves cut off. And a floppy hat and my 20-year-old Hard Rock previously-black-turned-gray sweatshirt round out the outfits much to the chagrin of my sis-in-law. Right, Trac?

(Sorry, but the yoga pants are lost on me because I don’t have any - mostly because it’s hard to get to the gym when you’re miles away from the nearest “fitness” facility! Guess I’ll stick to the great outdoors…)

Shannon Johnson says:

July 11th, 2007 at 3:27 pm

I get lost in gardening too, sometimes I come home from work and am sinking in the garden in my stilletos and tights, weeding the front garden. Or I get home from a motorcycle or bicycle ride, and find a weed to pull. Most times, I’m wearing old ratty shorts, t-shirt and gloves. I now have a gardening apron I got on sale at Target last fall, which helps me carry around gardening tools and cover up my embarrassing gardening clothes. I almost always wear a baseball cap and big sunglasses, which covers up my messy hair.

Rebecca says:

July 11th, 2007 at 4:00 pm

Hehe, the dude in England isn’t the only one who gardens in a thong.

Before I bought my house I lived in a two story apartment building in Uptown. There was a house next door that we overlooked that had lovely gardens and fantastic holiday decorations. Every once in a while I’d walk home and pass our neighbor very busily gardening (in the front yard, not even in the semi-privacy of the backyard) in his thong. He had a hot pink one and a black one. It was spectacular!

Jaime Chismar says:

July 11th, 2007 at 4:36 pm

Whoa! I’d be afraid for all my exposed bits and pieces. I bet he had a great tan line.

Judy says:

July 12th, 2007 at 1:02 pm

A few years ago some friends stopped by with their two small children. I was in my usual (tattered) gardening apparel, kneeling by a flowerbed. They thought I was a scarecrow!!

laura says:

July 18th, 2007 at 8:37 pm

in the early morning when i let my dog out (he is my wake up service), my hair usually stands out in every direction. its in that stage between short and long, long enough to give some wild bed head, short enough to not reach a ponytail. for some reason i cant ever remember to grab my hat when i let the dog out.

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