5 P.M: Just two-and-a-half hours before the Big Show and 17 hours into E’s coverage. What’s amazed me all afternoon is that the channel has concentrated more time on recipes and lingerie than on the awards. The only saving grace: Ryan Seacrest has not appeared in a thong. Yet.

5:05 P.M.: First big news tidbit! Nicole Richie is pregnant!! Hey, give us a break. It’s early…

5:36 P.M.: Kevin Kline is the latest celebrity to be hush-hush about his role in the evening’s telecast. I get nervous when people go out of their way to be “mysterious.” I’m getting a sneaky feeling that tonight’s show could be legendary - for all the wrong reasons.

5:55 P.M.: Ryan Seacrest and his E! compatriots are desperate to link the “Slumdog” stars together. Fortunately, the two young stars are too respectful and cool to play along.

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