I need a wife–and I’m not the only one.
Posted on August 14th, 2007 – 10:56 AMBy Kara McGuire
It’s a joke that my husband and I have had for a couple of years now, especially when trying to juggle a busy work week, a sick kid, or a house repair.
Apparently I’m not the only gal in the world yearning for an extra pair of hands. Here’s a New York Times story on the subject.
16 Responses to "I need a wife–and I’m not the only one."
advice: learn to cut back all the activies and simplify your’s and your families life. Quit trying to “do everything”.
… “having it all” is a real falicy.
Trying to do everyting creates a lot of stress for that person trying to do everything.
I would agree with the statement we should quit trying to do everything, however I think the biggest problem is women’s tendency to worry. As the article stated, the husbands will leave the house and not worry about the messes and so on, but the women will leave and continue worrying. Yes there needs to be someone coordinating things, and that tends to be the wife, but the ability to let things slide makes everyone’s life better. And if it’s a problem, you can always try leaving it be until your husband gets irritated and does it himself. 
Mel fails to understand that marriage is about seperating roles.
What color is the sky on Jon’s planet?
Mel should focus on the facts, instead of being emotional. The fact is that if the husband likes to cook and the wife likes to clean, that’s much easier than one person doing everything. Marriage is all about compromise. If there’s no compromise, get a divorce.
In my case it’s not so much gender based. My husband could use a husband as much as I could use a wife– to mow the lawn and other yard work. He also cooks dinner most nights of the week and does at least half of the post-work child care.
I’m intrigued by what Mel said about how to create the optimal support structure for the multi-career household.
What ideas does everyone have? Hiring others to perform some services is one way. But what should workplaces do to make work life balance more of a reality?
I’d love to hear your real life examples and “in a perfect world” wishes.
Things always seem like an argument between “support” vs “personal responsibility”. If one believes in the latter, than workplaces should do nothing. If one believes in the former, than they believe in workplaces providing everything.
It’s a really polarizing issue.
Like it or not, the world views the tidyness of our house aas a reflection on me more than a reflection on my husband. Same with thank you notes, etc. I can say “screw it” (and often do) but in reality, it’s tough to silence those societal messages.
Same with hiring help. Besides — we both work too many hours using our techincal / financial skills in the human serviced sector — a sector whose employees (I’d argue) are often underpaid.
These were conscious choices, and we’ve similarly made the conscious choice to slow down.
Finally, much as I hate to admit it, there are days when my office is a mite too “family friendly” — and those of us with families elsewhere regularly are stuck with the last minute projects / crises, etc.
Not sure the workplaces “should” do anything, but it would be awfully nice if they would. Flexible work schedules would be a huge way to make our lives easier.
My wife and I both work 80% schedules, which means we’re each home one day a week, and the remaining three days our kids are at daycare. This meant a 20% cut in our income, but we feel it’s a good tradeoff for more time with our kids and more time to accomplish household tasks (I can do a load of laundry while I’m home with the kids, or we can run to the grocery store).
I’m still amazed that each of our employers allowed this. They did it, I think, because they feared losing us. Better to have a valued employee four days a week than to have to hire and trian a new person.
From management’s perspective, this must be a big pain. And I’m guessing it would be very difficult to run a business if everybody wanted this arrangement. But them again, if enough people demanded some kind of flex-time, maybe employers would have no choice but to accomodate them. Who says that the work week has to be 40 hours?
Are any Best Buy folks tracking this conversation? They are way out in front of the work-life curve with their flexible hours and work-at-home programs, and it would be interesting to hear some experiences, both from management side and worker side.
I’ll float the hypothesis that the folks at the bottom of the wage scale who can least afford household help are also the ones least likely to encounter work-life accommodation. Salaried professionals are more likely to escape this rock and a hard place squeeze.
There is a lot of research underway about how information access and exchange via computer, radically different methods of evaluating employee productivity, and creative incentive comp will enable greater workplace flexibility. Of course, it takes a while for research findings to filter down into organizational policy, and in the meantime a few boldly experimental firms–Best Buy, again–can show the way.
Mel,
I enjoy your creative thought provoking posts, much more than Jon’s rigid judgemental and snarky posts.
As a single parent, I’ve always claimed to want a wife, but IMHO, who would want that job? I don’t know that I can afford to slow down…but often I feel like I’m burning out. I’d LOVE to have the luxury of working 80% time but it’s not going to happen for a while.
Where I read new articles?
Where I see gallery?
Lisa, “Rigid and judgmental and snarky posts”? Look in the mirror.
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