Inside the Pepsi Center
August 24th, 2008 – 5:14 PM by James LileksYou can’t just waltz into the Pepsi Center, you know. After you get here - no small feat; I advise bringing a canteen of water and some pemmican - you have to stand in a very long line to get your credentials checked and your bags inspected. It’s just like airport security, with lots more guns. One of the guards had a baton long enough to knock out someone standing across the street.
I’m at the StarTribune’s spot in the press gallery, where we have power and internet and Epsom-salt foot baths and all manner of conveniences. The view: we will have an absolutely top-notch and upobstructed view of the left side of Obama’s head. This place is smaller than I expected, and it’s all Pepsi Blue, too. But it is cool and sedate, and after the protest - which was hot, smelly, and, shall we say, an up-tempo event, it’s a welcome relief. Grainy, blurry iPhone picture:
They’re doing a sound check, and one of the songs you will be hearing is “Dreamweaver,” by Gary Wright, done in big-band style. The fellow checking the mike is describing his speech like this. Seriously, he’s standing at the very podium where Obama will stand, and he’s just vamping: “Concluding my remarks . . . light personal anecdote here, hearfelt remark here . . mock indignation . . .unfluttering charm. Certainly photography is the most sublime of the 20th century arts. If you have to ask, you may never know. Thank you!”
Unfluttering charm?
Now it’s “Turn the Beat Around.” So far all the convention music has been 70s. Odd how every song has a political meaning in this context, though. Except perhaps “Afternoon Delight.” Then again, “skyrockets in flight” - tomorrow’s theme is National Security. See? I defy you to come up with a song that doesn’t have a political meaning in this situation. (Jesse Jackson Jr.’s theme song appears to be “That’s the Way of the World” by Earth Wind and Fire.)
Obviously we are in a news-poor environment, so it’s off to find something happening. Just wanted to check the internet connection and say hello.
18 Responses to "Inside the Pepsi Center"
Does anything interesting happen tonight? I see Katie Couric, et al giving updates from the floor every few minutes…
How about “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” by the Police?
Wait. I just read the lyrics. Never mind, though it might be more appropriate than I first realized.
Wonder if Obama will be busting any moves on stage? Him and Ludacris are tight…maybe he can bust a rhyme.
Perhaps another soundcheck:
“Platitude, platitude - pause. Heartfelt tale of woe and ultimate redemption, courtesy of our side. Examples of perfidity of our opponents - mention name of foreign opponents. Cite offer of bi-partisan cooperation - with reference to vaguely defined positive result. Lightly pound podium in cadence with point about not compromising our partisan - opps our AMERICAN principles.” blah blah blah
Oh god, that makes me imagine them trying to imbue Stairway to Heaven with some feeble meaning that awkwardly provides a sort of summary of the Democratic platform. Maybe it’s about a woman who’s buying a stairway to Heaven in the sense that she’s buying dangerously cheap medicine from Canada because she can’t afford proper healthcare. The stores are all closed and whatnot….
How about the Village People’s “YMCA”?
I always chuckle when I hear that song played at things like weddings, considering that it’s a paean to the homosexual lifestyle of 1970s New York.
Put THAT in your convention pipe and smoke it!
Speaking of wildly inappropriate music, I’ve been to weddings where the DJ played “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” for the bridal dance. Also, IIRC, they played “Mambo #5″ (”A little bit of Monica…”) at the 2000 Dem convention.
I went to a wedding reception where the bride & groom danced a polka. It was amazing. And it may have been in Minnesota.
I was out near that Welcome to Wyoming sign last August…of course, I was on my way to Wyoming! And on my return, I stayed at a motel MUCH closer to downtown than it was to the airport…shoulda gone back toward Wyoming!
eek! — DFK has been banished. this must be the new v2.0 buzzery.
it looks… so… like “Travels with Fencey.”
Somewhere near Wyoming, Fencey was not eating his food, not whining, just staring off into the distance. I knew it was time to head into town for more new tires. The problem was, there had been no town for ten days now.”
also, it appears the Magic Login Screen has disappeared, we are all guests with boogers and dirty hands.
Guy at the podium?
Where? Perhaps you can put the ‘photo’ in MS Paint and circle him?
Those iPhones take such great pictures!
James,
Who will your fair and balanced newspaper have covering the RNC, and will their be a blog site?
Good morning Mr. Lileks,
Will this be the second time Michelle Obama will be proud of her country?
Have you seen Rev. Wright, or Mr. Farrakhan yet?
“Grainy?” I wonder if we will go on using the word “grainy” to describe low-resolution in photos, even though there are no silver halide grains involved in digital pictures, the way we go on using the word “dial” for using a touch-tone phone. Hope so.
BTW, I think the photo is good: it’s informative about the scale of the place.
I’ll be darned if I can come up with a non-political song! Let’s see:
“You’re So Vain” - nah
“Second Hand News” by Fleetwood Mac….nah
“Na Na Hey Hey Kiss HIm Goodbye” - with any luck
“I Started a Joke” - Bee Gees - nah
Hah!
The Brady Bunch theme!!!!!!
And there you are.
And thanks, James, I’ll be running songs in my head all day now! : D
From a displanted Minnesotan, glad to see you’re in town! In addition to Star-bucks, we also have a great little mom and pop burger joint called McDonald’s; you should check it out.
First of all, thanks for letting me post without logging in. Wow. I don’t need no stinking badges! Alas, Mr. Lileks does, to be sequestered with Team Strib in the lush accommodations of the Pepsi Center. So sad. In the meantime them political songs just keep on a-thumpin’ in the jukebox of my mind.
Just Gimme Some Truth-John Lennon
Dancin’ Fool-Frank Zappa
(You’re The) Devil In Disguise-Elvis
Send in the Clowns-Frank Sinatra
Deja Vu-Crosby Stills Nash & Young
Shaft-Issac Hayes
Understand Your Man-Johnny Cash
It’s Not My Cross to Bear-Allman Bros.
Hoooo-weee. Gonna be a long week, I can tell.
A song regarding Bill Ayers & Tony Rezco:
“How Long Has This Been Goin’ On?”