Mile Wide, Inch Thin
August 26th, 2008 – 1:45 PM by James LileksCities bid for conventions for the prestige, the honor, the worldwide glory – it’s like the Olympics without the suspiciously underage gymnasts. (There are rumors that the adorable Obama children are actually in their 30s, but no one is taking them seriously.) The conventions could take a page from the Olympics, though – ratings are horrible, and have reached the point where only beach volleyball can save the networks. Bill O’Reilly and Andrea Mitchell in speedos, spriking hard inflated balls at each other’s heads – that might help. At least the outcome of that event might be in doubt.
We’re also told that the conventions are a tremendous economic boon. For hotels and restaurants and bars and taxi drivers who don’t think you know they’re taking the long way, sure. But a tour of downtown Denver off the 16th street mall reveals a downtown unaffected by the event. I’m sitting in a food court at the moment; it’s noon, and the place is mostly empty. Why? It’s three stories above the mall, and tourists can’t be bothered to take an escalator up when there are so many ground-level options.
The manager at the suburban restaurant where I dined last night said the impact of the convention was, and I quote, “Zero.” Freeway traffic seems smooth – the hellishly fast run downtown this morning went as quickly as possible, except for the moment when the driver nearly put us all through the windshield when he hit the brakes to avoid a blue barrel in the middle of the road. Downtown traffic is remarkably smooth, considering that they’ve routed everyone away from the Pepsidrome, and you couldn’t get through the barricades with anything less than an M-1 Abrams. So let me make a prediction:
Traffic between Minneapolis and St. Paul will be slightly worse, since 94 is not set up to handle too much additional traffic, but it won’t be horrible. The warehouse district will be busier, but that’s it. You will still be able to get a table at the Olive Garden in Roseville. (If you must.) Finally, the fellow who spent a lot of money to buy a WELCOME CONVENTIONEERS banner for his coffee shop six blocks off Grand Avenue will be cursing the expense next week.
At least the honor, prestige, and worldwide glory are free.
9 Responses to "Mile Wide, Inch Thin"
Mitchell and O’Reilly in speedos? Oh, I did not need that picture in my head . . .
Will Hillary be wearing the sequined pantsuit tonight? (Or is it Bill’s turn?)
Frog
Well done, Mr Lileks! This is by far the most enjoyable coverage of the convention. I think prairiecat’s comment yesterday about the benefits of not taking it all so very seriously were spot on. So many other jurnos are too concerned about their gravitas quotient to admit they’re just plain happy to be there. Here on the rain-sodden hills of New Zealand’s Northland it is more than refreshing to hear actual humor echoing from the thin, sun-broiled air of Denver.
And three more cheers to you for displaying all the best that the New Media has to offer. (oh, and thanks to the Strib for their forward thinking, too.)
Cheers.
O’Reilly & Mitchell in sound proof burkhas is more like it.
Dude, the reason downtown is empty is because most employees decided to take the week off. A number of businesses (other than those that sell t-shirts, which means most of those on the 16th Street Mall) basically told employees to work from home if possible. You’re not seeing the normal number of worker bees in the Denver hive this week.
And by the way, most of my convention news is coming from you. Keep those tweets flying!
Steve
Have they taxed away the windfall profits of the neighbor hood bars and trojan dispensers yet?
It would befit the Dems convention.
PS. Have you been to Casa Bonita?
Mediocre food, good show.
“The ratings are horrible…”
I was watching MSNBC’s coverage yesterday afternoon, with the commentators struggling to fill the 24/7 news gap. As soon as someone finally stepped up to the podium to give a speech, the network cut to a commercial! Unbelievable, but not unexpected given the demise of actual news bureaus.
I agree with Steve S.! I’m working from home to avoid downtown, and MANY of my customers are not in their downtown offices this week.
And don’t eat at the food court. If they are out, buy a hot dog from a street vendor. Those guys will stand for hours in the snow to sell a $1 hot dog during the winter, so they deserve increased sales from the convention.
“We’re also told that the conventions are a tremendous economic boon.”
We’re told a lot of things that aren’t necessarily true, as you point out.
I’ve always felt political & government dollars become somehow different once they’re taken from my paycheck, or sent to the IRS each April 15th. These particular dollars change, from a thing of real value to me to something invisible; certainly not transparent, though. I can’t see where it goes and I’ll venture no one on the outside can see it either.
I suspect the ‘economic boom’ from events like these is limited to off-shore accounts of political insiders.
Denver’s city government is Democratic Party-run, right?