Day Three: miscellany
September 3rd, 2008 – 4:01 PM by James LileksSorry for the delay here, but we’ve been caught up in the endless swirl of schmoozing hard-nosed impromptu political analysis in the halls. You can’t swing a cat without hitting someone who believes that you’re wrong, you should have swung a dachschund, but if the internal tracking polls are correct it doesn’t matter because people are in the mood for someone who juggles ferrets, etc. Opinions are like nostrils around here; everyone has two, and they’re full of hair. Sorry. Long night, long day. Some random notes: * John Bolton is shorter than you might think, if you’d thought about it at all. Without the distinctive facial hair he would be unrecognizable to most, though; it’s a reminder to all that you should adopt a distinctive moustache before entering into a controversial career, because if things just get too stupid you can shave it off, change your glasses, and you’re set for a lifetime of peace.* The Bird Porn people are here. More on that in tomorrow’s video. I’m starting to suspect it might be a put-on. No, really.* The 9/11 Truthers were screaming at the MSNBC set, which is located outdoors. This was a wise move, because one of the surest way to get your message across - and penetrate the adamantine belief system of television anchorpeople - is to disrupt their work. It’s page one of the Dale Carnegie system, in fact. * Word on Palin’s speech tonight: she wrote it all. Turned down offers of help from pro speechwriters. Will punctuate her points with skeet-shooting; by the third one the audience will get the idea and shout PULL in a roof-raising chorus. The broken pieces of clay pigeons that fall to the floor will be greatly prized; don’t expect to see them on eBay.Off to shoot video; the street performer who’s been pretending to be a statue of F. Scott Fitzgerald is present again today, so we’ll try to crack his concentration again.
25 Responses to "Day Three: miscellany"
But will she give out her secret recipe for Moose Burgers?
Can never have enough Moose Burger recipes, just in case Keith Oberdog drops by and he’s hungry.
FINALLY we hear from you, Jimbo. Thought the aliens had nabbed you. Good to see you’re alive and kicking.
James, it’s tough for this day lily to keep up with the rest of you, who live so much of your lives in Prime (tv) Time. Thanks VERY much for posting this before I settle in for the evening.
Could you ask Dave Barry if “razzing me about Doris” is a good name for a rock band.
Dude.
Serious. This is thin gruel.
You have Dave Barry and Dick Armey at your house and we get a half(?) drunken blurb on Twitter?
Serious?
I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.
Hi James,
I like your work very much but wonder why you’ve suspended the Bleat to do this - forgive me - insipid blog? Here’s the Bleat on 10/6/04:
“Given the words to describe a hurricane, he spends them on denouncing a hair drier.” Replace denouncing with describing, and that, I’m afraid, is what you’re up to. Pity. You have the talent and intellect to pull real insight from the zeitgeist, but instead you putter on about pedicabs. You’ve become Woody Allen after Annie Hall, abandoning, at least for a short while, your real gift. Please give us back the loving father and the genuine curmudgeon of the Bleat. What would he say about the media attention on Gov. Palin?
Uh oh…
I read the above comments and I see that my “James, James, James…” has been pre-empted.
My friend - you have an international audience that enjoys your writings. They would more than likely enjoy your drunken ramblings regarding your house guests. I certainly would.
I realize that may not say much about us, but we are, indeed, the people who read your trivial goings on in the Bleat daily because we like to read your trivial goings on. You write them so well.
We are the people who read Buzz.mn because you are writing it.
We are the people who actually suffer the Strib and try and find your funny little videos or columns because you are interesting.
So C’mon, give the red meat of Lileks Life, no matter which part of “the Convention” it happens to be about…
Be well
I’m beginning to wonder if this is some sort of prose Lance Lawson puzzle - “The answer’s obvious from that last panel, readers: Mr. L’s phoning it in because he’s post-soused!”
I knew when I saw the photos and there was a “bar tent” that our host was, well, probably going to have a blast. : D
Ah phooey. Give James a break. If you were in his shoes right now…well, let’s just say I’m jealous.
Me, too, der Wiking. Me, too.
Oops.
Yah, Der Wiking, you betcha.
And, via Hugh Hewitt (which is therefore to be taken with a grain of salt), yesterday was Mr. Lilek’s 50th birthday!
If true, then all is forgiven.
And, Happy Birthday!
“The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government. And I won’t be buried under their damn flag.”
- Joe Vogler, founder of the party Sarah Palin’s husband belonged to for almost a decade.
What was that you were searching for James. Someone who just “gets it”? Who unambiguously loves America?
Does Palin “get it”? Is her vision of library censorship shared by you? Jews for Jesus? Terrorism is God’s judgment on the Jews? You see, you snarked endlessly on Rev. Wright. Let’s see if you’re a hypocrite or not…
Ah yes, foobar. You do remember the Reverend who’s church Sen. Obama attended for 20 years. I thought the Dems were above the old politics this year. Isn’t that what “change” is about?
James, forget about the birdporn people. I want to know about clay pigeon porn.
And Lance knew that those were not ferrets being juggled, but rather prairie dogs. Which meant that Dave Barry was the killer. He later confessed, saying that he had to do it because everyone else at the convention kept razzing him about Doris. It wasn’t until he was headed to the electric chair that he realized they were all talking about Doritos, not Doris. At which point he finally understood the joke.
Happy Birthday, James! Sure do miss my daily dose of bleatage! When do we get the scoop on the partay??? Any pics? Spill your guts, man!
Lilek’s 50th was last month, according to my exclusive information (Wikipedia)
That must be some hangover.
Best cure: Advil, Gatorade, and a Big Mac
I’m sorry but another ethics complaint has been filed against Sarah Palin in Alaska. Sarah is not as popular in Alaska as the McCain camp folk are trying to make her out to be.
Thursday, September 04, 2008 Story last updated at 9/4/2008 - 9:28 am
Troopers’ union angry about Palin accusations
Official says governor is using state troopers as a ‘whipping boy’
By Alan Suderman | JUNEAU EMPIRE
Gov. Sarah Palin is using the Alaska State Troopers as a “whipping boy” to try and cover up her misdeeds, the head of the troopers’ union said Wednesday.
The governor’s lawyer has accused the troopers of turning a blind eye to an alleged rogue officer, Mike Wooten, who also is the governor’s ex-brother-in-law.
“It is outrageous and disappointing that the governor would choose to make the Alaska State Troopers the whipping boy for her ethical lapse of judgment,” said John Cyr, the executive director of the Public Safety Employees Association.
The Trooper’s Union? Aren’t those the same people who defended the officer who tasered his 11 year-old stepson because the child *asked* to be tasered? And this trooper also threatened to make his father-in-law “eat a f—in’ bullet.” My, that officer deserves the support of the Trooper’s Union, who in turn deserve the respect of all Americans for keeping monsters like Sarah Palin from removing outstanding officers like Mr. Wooten from Public Service.
Uh huh.
Well, if it’s in the “paper”, it must be true.
I love Sarah Palin, and thought her speech was a home run.
But enough of all this–when do we get Lance back??? My crime-solving powers are slowly fading away!
(And I miss my Buzz family!)
Unions are there to defend their members, no matter how wrong a particular member is. This isn’t a knock on unions, just a statement of fact of what unions are supposed to do.
People keep using “homerun.” Mrs. Palin is a hockey mom go with “Hat Trick” or something.
I personally prefer the Gordy Howe Hat Trick for Sarah P.: a variation on the hat trick, wherein a player scores a goal, gets an assist, and participates in a fight in a single game.
The take on the “troopergate” story bt the press is funny. If Governor Palin had done little or nothing, the headlines would read about how little she cared about her poor abused sister.
Ima Goodlady:
Thanks for the sports-metaphor correction. Duly noted! Maybe Sarah Barracuda will body-slam Joe Biden into the boards when they debate!
Speaking of media bias, how telling is the NY Times headline from today: “Easiest Task for Palin May Have Been Speech”
This lady is being sorely underestimated by a lot of folks!
Unions are there to defend their members
Yes, exactly. The Troopers Union couldn’t care less about the general public. They couldn’t care less if Officer Wooten is a drunk child abuser who uses his position to threaten citizens — as long as his dues are paid on time. That’s precisely why they don’t like pre-Gov. Palin having the audacity to suggest that member Wooten is a loose cannon who may very well hurt someone with his *ahem* Poor People Skillz and therefore ought to be pursuing another line of work (where he would not be paying dues to the Trooper’s Union).