By La Velle
We all learned last week that Bat-Girl was hanging up her mouse, and the tributes flowed.
My paper reported it harder than the Fancy Ray retirement. Tears rolled down my computer screen as I read Joe Christensen’s tale of heartbreak over losing one of his favorite stops on the internet.
I smirked at all this to-do about Bat-Girl.
Oh, you played it up Bat-Girl, you really did. You had your Batling in your arms for full effect, the Lego characters put on their finest performance. You had Little Nicky Punto and Aaron Gleeman drunk on the Bat-Girl kool-aid.
I’ve seen this all before.
You may be able to hoodwink the Upper Midwest, but we Chicagoans are experienced in dealing with sports figures (yes, you are one) claiming their careers are over.
Remember Ryne Sandberg? The Cubs great hung up his spikes in a unforgettable press conference in which his wife was treated with so much class she showed up in a sun dress. But old No. 23 returned.
Michael Jordan shut it down a couple times changed numbers. Changed teams. Kept playing.
Let’s even look at the master of the comeback, Roger Clemens, who received a standing ovation when he walked off the mound during the World Series with the Yankees (it’s true, the Yankees were actually in the World Series once) and claimed to be done. For someone who claims to be retiring, he sure keeps popping up and getting outrageous sums of money.
So I”m not buying this, Bat-Girl. I smell an online version of the Kansas City Shuffle here. I’m not going to have my heart broken and enter the Employee Assistance Program like Joe Christensen has (I’m not sure I’m supposed to reveal that).
Admit it, Bat-Girl. You’re reading right out of the Michael Jordan playbook of un-retirements. You and Howard Sinker probably are plotting your, `dramatic,’ return at this moment.
I’ve got you tabbed for at least two encore performances.
I’m not going to fall for this subterfuge.
I’m not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe.
Come clean, Bat-Girl…