Sister Romana, my first-grade teacher at Assumption School in Richfield, never mentioned television in the classroom during the 1965-66 school year. You wouldn’t have expected a Benedictine nun born during Grover Cleveland’s first term in the White House to spend much time watching “Batman” or “Lost in Space.” It’s unlikely the convent adjacent to the school even had a TV. And only four commercial stations were available in the Twin Cities in 1966, plus the two public stations, KTCA and KTCI (the latter of which was usually just static or a test pattern). All of which might explain how Sister Romana was able to teach most of the 35 or so kids in our pre-”Sesame Street” class to read with confidence before the first snow fell that school year.

She also taught us how to say the alphabet forward and backward. It’s a great ice breaker at certain social gatherings. Say it with me, in memory of Mel Jass: z y x w v u t s r q p …

He had a good job: Judging by the leisure suit, shag carpeting and hulking camera, this studio shot of local TV personality Mel Jass dates to about 1973. (Star Tribune photo by Donald Black)

Here’s Channel 11’s station from the 1970s, when it was a Metromedia Television affiliate:

What did it cost to bury a loved one in 1959? This Enga-Billman ad in the Minneapolis Star promised a “finer funeral” – including a cloth-covered casket and professional embalming – for just $195. That’s less than $1,400 in today’s dollars. You can barely plant a cat in a decent pet cemetery for that price these days.

To dispel any doubts about the quality of the service, Enga-Billman invited folks to look the place over, though it’s unclear if kids were welcome or whether popcorn or balloons were part of the open house. Probably no kids, and just coffee. Johnny, get out of that casket!

Some of the type here is small – sorry about that, but it’s tiny in the original as well – so I’ll reproduce the choicest paragraph here:

Our Prices Include:

Casket, embalming of body, cosmetology and hairdressing, plastic duro-surgery when necessary, hearse for funeral, flower car, wooden cemetery box, use of chapel, use of Catholic equipment, funeral services at Enga-Billman chapel of church of your choice within a radius of 25 miles, general assistance with memorial records, flower acknowledgements, insurance forms, U.S. Government forms, services of professional staff in accordance with the highest standards of conducting funerals and skilled attendants. Concrete box, cemetery charges, clergy, music and obituary notices not included.

Owner Leonard Enga took considerable heat for touting prices in ads like this one.

The “aeromedical” expert quoted in this Minneapolis Tribune story was no fringe figure in the space race. In 1954, Col. John P. Stapp became known as the “fastest human on Earth” after piloting a rocket sled to a then-world record land speed of 632 miles per hour. He was a hands-on pioneer in studying the effects of rapid acceleration and deceleration on humans, and is credited with coining the term “Murphy’s Law.” Plus, we can claim him as one of our own, in a way that only Minnesotans can: Stapp, who was born in Brazil to Baptist missionaries from Texas, earned his medical degree from the University of Minnesota in 1944.

Healthy, Intelligent, Legless Man
Called Ideal Space Traveler

By JACK WILSON
Minneapolis Tribune
Staff Correspondent

	Col. Stapp at 0 mph

WASHINGTON – A smart, experienced, husky man with both legs amputated would be a good prospect for pilot of America’s first manned satellite, an air force officer working on the program said Friday.

Col. John P. Stapp, chief of the aeromedical laboratory at Wright air development center, Dayton, Ohio, made this suggestion informally during a space travel conference here.

“It is just an idea that occurred to me when I was thinking about the requirements for space travel, and what sort of man best meet them,” he said.

“A man’s legs represent about 27 per cent of his total weight. And they wouldn’t be of any use to him in a space capsule.

“If you took a man who had the heart and lungs for a 180-pound body, and amputated both of his legs, he would have just that much less tissue to consume oxygen and contribute to the weight of the capsule.

	Col. Stapp at 600-plus mph

“And having full-sized heart and lungs, he would have somewhat more reserve strength and energy than a man with both legs.”

Stapp said he had no intention of looking for legless volunteers for satellite travel, but he had the qualifications for the first space man pretty well mapped out.

“He will have to be a man who is highly trained to make the kind of observations and gather the kind of data we want,” he said. “It will cost about $3,000 per pound of man and capsule to get him into orbit, and we want to get our money’s worth.

“I’m 48, and I’m realistic enough to know that that’s too old,” he said. And indicating his comfortable girth, he reminded questioners of the $3,000 per pound cost estimate.