Name That Coach
Posted on December 11th, 2006 – 11:30 AMBy Michael Rand
Who is the coach about whom Jacksonville running back Fred Taylor said on Sunday, “I can’t say enough about [him]. He has something for us every week that helps us win. We’re so glad he’s around.” OK, here’s a hint: He’s famous for speaking his mind and wearing a pencil perched atop his ear. That’s right, folks: Mike Tice! That’s according to Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback. Sorry if you just choked on your lunch.
40 Responses to "Name That Coach"
And what exactly did Mike Tice have for us to help the Vikings win? Oh, I know. Free cruise tickets on Lake Minnetonka. Does it get any better than that?
Good Lord.
That RandBall picture is priceless. It’s quintessential Rand: Ragstock-ish wardrobe, fauxhawk ‘do, smartest-person-in-the-room expression. I can’t decide whether I want to laugh along or punch you in the mouth.
A note for readers who have not had the privilege of meeting Michael: The camera perspective belies his unusually small hands. Just thought you should know.
Welcome to the Blogosphere, Mr. Rand. I say that as if I, too, were a member of said Blogosphere. Sadly, I am not, although I do have a MySpace page, which is a story for another time and website.
But perhaps I can live vicariously as a would-be blogger through you, as I’ve done for so many years. Your career success. Your fashion sense. Your deft touch with the written word. Your earnest affection for vagrants and fish mongers. These are all things to which I aspire. But — and again with the sadly, for mine is indeed a sad, sad existence — ’twill never be.
[PROLONGED SIGH]
I apologize that I have nothing sports-related to contribute today. I’m licking my wounds after my second career playoff loss to eventual (and we all know it) Funk Funk Fantasy Football Federation Champion Emeritus Yo Daddy. That is, unless Bernard F. Berrian decides to go Billy “White Shoes” Johnson (I have no idea what that reference means or implies) on our collective derriere and carry me to an unlikely victory. I ain’t gonna hold my breath.
God, my team sucks. How did it get so bad, so fast?
I know, I still owe you $106. Shut up. I might owe you more than that, actually. I think you paid for my parking the night of the draft. Sucker!
ak
Michael Rand treats objects like women, man. But that doesn’t matter to him, because I think he and Ulli are nihilists.
Regarding Tice, maybe he’s a better bridesmaid than a bride. I wouldn’t be surprised if he DOES do a good job as an assistant. That’s where he should have been all along, and if not for um, fiscal responsibility from a used-car dealer, he’d still be an assistant here, hanging out at Bunny’s in the SLP and saying “Doh”.
History is chock full of people who have been excellent supporting actors and failed miserably in starring roles. Examples? Ulysses Grant–good General, terrible President. Stephon Marbury leaving Minnesota and his #2 role behind KG for…living hell as a failed #1 option. John Goodman as Walter Sobchak in the Big Lebowski vs. him in The Flintstones. Puff Daddy going to P Diddy, still failing, now something called Diddy?
I’m not saying that Tice could be on a $50, or that he should make $15 shoes and call them StarTice’s, or that he’s the dude’s best friend, or even bust a rhyme and blow it with J Lo.
But I think he understands the offensive line, and he gets the receiving game (notice, I didn’t say “passing” game). He gets the space that lineman and TE’s need and can suggest up to Jack the River.
And the #1 reason: he doesn’t have to do press conferences. It’s the old line…keep your mouth shut, people will think you’re stupid. Open it, and you confirm it.
He probably has a lot to offer, and I’m not surprised that he’s a decent assistant.
Anonymous?
Is that you, Touchdown?
Yessir.
I’m just glad that Tice isn’t wearing a suit like Jack the River. He’d certainly set a world tailor record for neck circumference.
Fat guy in a little coat … fat guy in a little cooooooaaaat …
Speaking of FAT:
Did anyone see Jared F Lorenzen yesterday? Are you kidding? He’s at LEAST 320. In his white road uniform he looked like the Michelin Man who had just eaten Grimace from McDonald’s. I’m praying for an Eli ACL tear, because it would be terrific theater.
Actually, I’d like to throw Pat Williams, Jared Lorenzen, and Roseanne into a cage match fight for a Timber Lodge gift card.
Every time Tice had a post game press conference, I would just cringe because he sounded like he was coming off of a concussion. I just kept thinking, “Now what exactly did Red McCombs see in him?”
As a Packer fan, I’m just glad that the mystery coach is not Mike Sherman. If number one in the NFL meant getting to the second round of the playoffs then Mike Sherman would be in the Hall of Fame.
As a Packer fan, personally you could aim higher!
I will say this about Tice. If he wasn’t a wannabe coach (Please like me, players), he could have made it as a head mold for helmets. Frank E. Stein didn’t have a more block shaped head.
The vikings made a huge mistake when they let Tice go. He is a player’s coach, if you ever played at a higher level than high school you would know what I mean. Tice got more out of the talent Red let him have than any coach would have been able to.
This guy knew how to handle Brad Johnson better, knew how to motivate THE most important unit on offense (the line) better than anyone and he has his best coaching years coming.
I hope they fire Mason and hire Tice.
Tice as a college coach isn’t as crazy as it sounds, though the ticket scalping might be a downer.
I don’t know if anyone could handle Brad Johnson better. I think he had a nice career and stayed at the bar for one too many drinks. Now he’s gonna wake up next to the proverbial muttface with a 7-9 final season as a starter. But he has a Super Bowl ring that will bring big bucks on Ebay someday.
Doesn’t there have to be a demand for tickets before scalping becomes an issue?
Hmm. Tice as coach of the Gophers? I don’t think I have a problem with that. But I can’t believe I just said so.
problems meridia problems meridia
meridia coupon appetite meridia
meridia stories presciption meridia
Hi boys!b695a1128c256591260e9018cae82f3d
Hi, there!..b9c61f3aa3cd8f573f5b505dee08db8c
Hi, there!..fea8415e1d316b6f5781407d1d177673
soma brand online soma online a
online soma income soma delivery online
online dan soma online buy soma
soma no buy online online buy soma delivery
online needed soma soma florida online
Thanks for sharing
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
do meridia meridia results
buy soma sports buy that soma
soma countries buy soma time buy
happy soma online buy soma pills buy online
ckiudsq jitrp rxblc bcjnavf shmwfirjd atpemd ocugl
vndkewop exlvsczod tlyxvj tohm forj dvco yqogn http://www.cmvskutae.tiwsufvog.com
download mp3 glasba mp3 software download
pharmacies online mexican free online free pharmacies mexican
chip cheap mp3 download download mp3 cheep cheap
kgjhqrxmn yxkm vzfjo qicfswav yvneki hbgnm gcbqpn
lcryo epydmlvo ontljw iwpxrshvj bmuv lrythkqv knms http://www.qknta.dcqyzek.com
