Devin Hester is a beautiful man
Posted on December 12th, 2006 – 9:40 AMBy Michael Rand
The Bears defense/special teams has been among the most consistent performers on my strong but streaky fantasy football team, Goose With A Beer. Let me paint a picture for you: I’m trailing by 9 points going into Monday Night Football in a first-round playoff match-up. I have the Bears and St. Louis kicker Jeff Wilkins, who picked a nice night to do his best Scott “Missin” Sisson impression. Devin Hester, with his two kickoff returns for TDs, saved the day. Not only that: The owner of the team I was trailing called right before the second TD wondering about tie-breaker scenarios. No need for that, Taco. This is not a fantasy football blog — Chris Carr adeptly handles that here with The Fantasy Reality — but last night’s game probably broke a few hearts and won a few games. I’ll indulge you just this once. Share your stories.
12 Responses to "Devin Hester is a beautiful man"
Senor Rand, how’s it going today? Its a bittersweet morning for me, as watching Devin Hester prove he’s the best return man in the game and on my favorite team was nothing short of glorious last night. However, per your FF story and my occupation, I feel I would be remiss not to mention the heartache last night caused. I had some combination of Stephen Jackson, Torry Holt, Jeff Wilkins, Mushin Muhammed, Thomas Jones and the Bears defense playing for or against me in four different leagues last night. When the dust settled, Hester’s brilliance won me a playoff game over one of your fellow Strib sports guys, Holt’s final one-handed grab cost me a victory in the first round of the playoffs against someone we know only as “Varp,” the Bears final interception cost me a spot in the playoffs to the man known as “Jaso”, and S-Jax’s last TD got me into the playoffs in another league. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much after all that last night, but I digress.
Devin Hester is a special talent and should win Rookie of the Year. Yes, I went there. Reggie Bush is good, Marques Colston has been fantastic, but Hester has had the greatest impact on his team of any rookie. He has single-handedly won at least two games for the Bears, and given them great field position all season. The guy even had the stoic Lovie Smith in tears last night. He is already in my opinion better than Dante Hall in his prime, and could surpass even Deion Sanders himself as the greatest return man in history if he can stay healthy and have a long career.
Seriously, a Dante Hall in his prime reference? What was that, half a season?
The first rule of fantasy football is you can’t talk about fantasy football outside of guys in your league. No one cares about your misery or success.
Hey Reggie Bush, didn’t you used to be Eric Metcalf?
And what’s with the taco reference? Did you eat some onions from the Bell or John’s?
Devin Hester is a very good player and in my opinon after everything I have seen from him, he deserves the ROY award. Do you think he will contend for this award even though he is simply a return guy?
Anthony Maggio your very lucky to have the Bears defense with not only their awesome defense but the special-teams as well!
Taco is a nickname for a guy in our league. Don’t get me started. And yes, this fantasy reference will likely be a one-time only thing. But man, that game last night had some serious implications.
Does Taco sing: “Putting on the Ritz?”
All posters are allowed a one-time fantasy reference. Hell, it’s your column, you can reference whatever you want.
I had Jeff Wilkins and my opponent had Chicago’s defense. I was up by 36 points going into the game. No way I’m losing, right?
Wrong. Lost by 3 points because of Hester’s dominance and Wilkin’s sinkjob.
Now I’m carted off to the 3rd place game. Boo.
You got the name of your FF team wrong, Mr. Rand. It’s not Goose With A Beer, it’s Goose Me, I’m Queer.
BWAH-HA-HA.
PS: Please don’t let Yo Daddy win the Funk Funk. I’m sick of giving him my money every dadgummed year.
I was skeptical about this blog at first.
But, you brought up Scott Sisson.
Daily reader from now on.
I’m sure you’d still want to indulge your grateful readers with their tales of fantasy football joy and woe if any Ram could’ve tackled Devin Hester last night. Yes, you would’ve lost by a point or two to end your season in galling fashion, but I’m sure you’d still be reading these stories, nodding your head and saying to yourself, “Tell me more about Muhsin Muhuammad.” My God, you’re a prince among men.
Go to hell, Michael Rand. And stay there.
And no, as the aggrieved party in RandBall’s scenario in his initial post, I do not have an ax to grind.
SuperRookie: I never imagined Scott Sisson could be used to spread good to the world. This is a landmark day.
And for you, Taco: You still have the unspeakable Drew Bennett game to fall back on. Just thinking about it makes me want to break things.
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