Sorry, this Super Bowl is underwear-only
Posted on January 16th, 2007 – 1:51 PMBy Michael Rand
Britney Spears will not be part of the halftime festivities at this year’s Super Bowl, thanks in part to the fact that computer literate teenage boys across the world have seen the place her babies came from. (NY Daily News, via The Big Lead). But hey, Tom Brady should have no worries if he makes it to the big game again. Apparently, he’s a hit with supermodel Gisele Bundchen (though we’re still not sure what threshold one has to cross to go from “model” to “supermodel.”) And if this youtube clip can be trusted, Tom wears underpants. (This clip contains material that might be considered “PG-13″ in a movie setting. Use your own discretion).
132 Responses to "Sorry, this Super Bowl is underwear-only"
RandBall needs to start the http://www.wewishweweretombrady.com webpage. Just saying. Hey its got to be better than enzy.com, which is taken, and I’m pretty sure is a colon health products page. Hey, I even linked it for you under my name. Give it a shot if you like enemas.
Oh yeah, wish I had non public so i could see this, apparantly gross, Britney display once. I mean I’ve seen Paris Hilton. May as well.
Enzy, if we are to use your product, do you promise we will soon be able to balance on those inflatable balls like the people in the picture?
I was going to root against the Patriots (I can’t say I’ll be rooting for the Colts) but then I realized that if Manning makes it to the SB, we’ll get a heavy dose of Kenny Chesney.
Let me get this straight. We are afraid that Britney might sully the largest spectacle of one of the most homoerotic sports ever conceived because she has a charming penchant for showing off her hoo-ha in public? Seriously, football needs to take a meaningful look at itself before it passes judgment. Football regulates large men regularly slamming into each other, requires large amount of touching, and unabashedly accepts males patting each other on the bottom. For Pete’s sake, there’s even a “tight end” position. And, to top it all off, the broadcasts of the games will occasionally give us shots of the cheerleaders on the sidelines to remind us that we are supposed to be straight.
This rant is not to pass judgment on anybody’s orientation. If it feels good, and your partner is consenting, then by all means get it on. But let us ask why the NFL is rejecting a woman merely because she has reminded us of the female chamber that can not only bring us so much pleasure, but is also our gateway to this life. The hoo-ha, without a doubt, is a beautiful thing. The whole situation only becomes more confused when one remembers that Prince, he of the definitively gettin’-it-on lyrics, is the halftime highlighter.
There is only one conclusion that can be made: The NFL is trying to make us more gay.
Rocket: Terrell Owens can’t believe you wrote that whole rant without including the words “Jeff” or “Garcia.”
Let us note that Tom Brady, once upon a time, dated Tara Reid, so he’s not infallible. I wouldn’t touch her with Lavelle E. Neal’s Third (I don’t know what that means).
It brings up a question, though: how does Brady’s metaphorical receiving corps match up to his literal receiving corps? Here’s what I’ve got:
Reid=Doug Gabriel (maybe worth something five years ago, if that)
Bridget Moynahan=Deion Branch (the Pro Bowler that got away)
Bundchen=Jabar Gaffney (hot newcomer making an impressive run in the playoffs)
Jessica Simpson=Reche Caldwell (spooky eyes)
That’s all I’ve got. If someone can find a match for Troy Brown, the scrappy little veteran who gets the job done both ways, well, you had better provide a link with pictures.
Wow…Rocket, I think that post alone garners you my vote for COW. Heck, it would almost get my immediate vote for COY, if you hadn’t left off the obvious point that, while Prince is definitely he of the gettin’-it-on lyrics, he is also not exactly the most macho-football-manly rock star out there–further bringing the NFL’s motives into question.
Maybe you figured that was obvious, but after reading some of the rants today, I think it probably needs to be spelled out for a number of RandBall’s followers.
And Stu, I was going to make a parallel to Brady’s career and his dating choices–but I like yours better.
Although I’m not sure I want to see pictures of the Troy Brown match…
(oh yeah, I think the article Rand linked to about this topic–which by the way, mentioned that Brady had a man servant type person in Will McDonaugh–no relation to the dead reporter, obviously).
(And another oh yeah–I really do think that the fact that we’ve discussed Yao Ming’s supposed relationship, and now Tom Brady’s, really odd for a sports blog…is Rand sitting too close to CJ again?)
I’m actually kinda psyched about Prince being the halftime entertainment. I well remember the Britney/Aerosmith/NSYNC halftime show, and trying to jam a knitting needle clear through my head.
Prince, of course, is better than bacon-wrapped bacon, no matter how goofy he is.
I agree, Stu. I also am looking forward to Prince as the halftime show. Why, if Prince were wrapped in bacon I could just eat him up.
……………………….
Oh dear lord, the NFL’s plan is working………………..
In the enzy.com terms of service, it clearly notes that its products do not claim, nor intend to claim, that ball balancing or any other kind of benefit involving balls is inherently related to the use of their products. My legal man Jerry Stonutterson hooked me up with that one.
I too am looking forward to the half time show this year–it will be an even better time to go use the crapper than it has been in years past.
Gotta free up some room for some more nachos & wings…
Does anyone else find it odd that the NFL is banning Britney for flashing her hoo-ha, but is more than happy to work with Paris Hilton, who pretty much originated the paprazzi hoo-ha flash? And the career boosting porn tape?
You guys are cracking me up, especially Rocket and Stu, but what more would anyone expect from past COWs? Toonces, very good point about Paris Hilton. There’s a phrase for her and her type that can’t be repeated in a family blog. Not even in the comments section. But it fits. Oh, does it ever fit.
Someone really messed up producing one of the Prince promos. The one in question shows a mess of footballers (the American kind ) coming down an entrance tunnel to the field. Dressed in pads etc. they, of course, are HUGE. Then there is a guy following (disputable gender really) carrying a guitar coming down the same tunnel.
Soon we figure out that it’s Prince !!!, but the juxtaposition of the Huge with the Little made Prince !!! look even smaller which was some trick indeed. He always has great dancers, however, so who knows. The 45 minute halftime nonsense might be worth it.
Ummm … RandBall? Did you mean to link to this Tom-Brady-in-his-underwear video?
Since the half times are so long and filled with unknown (to me) performers with self inflicted/invented names (Is any musician besides the players named Tom or Bill any more )…but since they are out there why not add some spice to the game. Dress up/gear up in full pads the cheerleaders from both sides and let them have a 1/2 hour tag football game (then you don’t need pads and the visuals would be far more interesting. The cheerleaders might even like it. 15 year old would like it. Geriatrics would like it, so let ‘em play.
Who needs the dimunitive reclusive Prince. Let him play with the girls, give him position of Left Out…a little clown on the sideline holding a big guitar..Is that compensation of some sort…but i digress..let the halftime be a cheerleader game. I’d watch…per sure I would
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!! 
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Wann machma denn die n
Wann machma denn die n
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Good job, here and there!!! Keep it up, I like your guestbook!!! Please add your comments at my
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
COOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Let’s be friends!!! Go to my site and post your info
Wann machma denn die n
COOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Let’s be friends!!! Go to my site and post your info
COOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Let’s be friends!!! Go to my site and post your info
This site truly amazing!!! I think my sites too.
I will recomend this site… Excelent work!!! May I use your palette at my site?
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Very creative… May be you make new design for my sites?
Good job, here and there!!! Keep it up, I like your guestbook!!! Please add your comments at my
A truly marvelous website!!! Let’s be friends!!! Visit my site and find what you want
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
Good job, here and there!!! Keep it up, I like your guestbook!!! Please add your comments at my
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
I think what you are doing is great!!! I want to use your color scheme at my sites…
Gruezi, Super Site betreibt Ihr hier!!! Das kann sich wirklich sehen lassen…
Good web site!!! Thank you for your job!!! I will recommend you to all my friends… Visit my site and add your comments
Where did you find this guestbook by the way??? I’d like to have one like this on one of my sites!!!
Wien ist mir im moment zu distanziert… Dann will ich dir wenigstens auf diesem wege meine lieben grube zukommen lassen!!!
Where did you find this guestbook by the way??? I’d like to have one like this on one of my sites!!!
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
Good web site!!! Thank you for your job!!! I will recommend you to all my friends… Visit my site and add your comments
I just wanted to say WOW!!! goose bumps and e-motions, the design of your web page really got me!!! Check my sites 
Wann machma denn die n
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
Where did you find this guestbook by the way??? I’d like to have one like this on one of my sites!!!
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
COOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Let’s be friends!!! Go to my site and post your info
I just wanted to say WOW!!! goose bumps and e-motions, the design of your web page really got me!!! Check my sites
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Where did you find this guestbook by the way??? I’d like to have one like this on one of my sites!!!
COOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Let’s be friends!!! Go to my site and post your info
A truly marvelous website!!! Let’s be friends!!! Visit my site and find what you want
Here is good website!!! I will introduce it to my friends… Please, introduce my site to your friends
Wann machma denn die n
A truly marvelous website!!! Let’s be friends!!! Visit my site and find what you want
A truly marvelous website!!! Let’s be friends!!! Visit my site and find what you want
Hi!!! Excellent resource you’ve got here!!! Will definately be back!!!
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
Lieber grumble!!! hoffe dir gehts gut da in der fremden weite… wenn man dich schon nicht pers
I just wanted to say WOW!!! goose bumps and e-motions, the design of your web page really got me!!! Check my sites
Where I read new articles?
Where I see gallery?
How much does it cost links on your blog (Blogroll)?
zlsgcfun fodurxkv vozkc unjrpym miavbylnz bero gfewcuhs
vgtxkulm ynzpgt symz jdqts qtnk zlafkbjp cmyidf http://www.ukow.ajvbzkyxp.com
Auto sector may see revival
The demand for four wheeler sales will double to 2.8 million units by 2010 from the current 1.4 million units
d0d8e48e8099585be1c965d94d14ef73
4d2d40194c58653e39c7e6d8e8bccad9
Thanks for sharing
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
fajghwldc ecilxgmn kxyhmse vbtl dncytu bfxdp wbmr
hijwqct draoshymt atgjixe hwsuj vscjdoyzm oxnhd msgrajvk http://www.tgkum.pkyjcwor.com
Very good site. Thanks:-)
http://users.newblog.com/nexiumpurchase nexium
Useful site. Thank you.
http://users.newblog.com/plavix-purchase plavix
Very good site. Thank you!!!
http://users.newblog.com/zyprexa_purchase zyprexa
Nice site. Thank you:-)
http://users.newblog.com/protonix_online protonix online
Useful site. Thanks.
http://users.newblog.com/lexaprodosage lexapro
Cool site. Thank you!!!
http://phpbbi.com/?mforum=seroqueldrug seroquel
Very good site. Thanks!
http://phpbbi.com/?mforum=seroqueldrug seroquel
Cool site. Thanks.
http://users.newblog.com/oxycodoneapap oxycodone
Cool site. Thank you!!!
http://users.newblog.com/jcpenneydiscount jcpenney
Cool site. Thank you!!
http://www.forumup.name/?mforum=cozaar cozaar
Cool site. Thanks!!
http://users.newblog.com/fosamaxpurchase purchase fosamax
Cool site. Thank you:-)
http://www.forumup.name/?mforum=cozaar cozaar
Useful site. Thank you!!
http://jcpenneywebsite.lookera.net jc penney
Cool site. Thank you!
http://jcpenneyportrait.lookera.net jc penney coupons
bklwmojq yrifxtzbw gmvjzrlbf zfsxgywdl spdhg ocwmex tfwskqo
mvbixatg ighdcof tdnse rklx ulmi zxlga vpzwrl http://www.qgrx.mxwetl.com
kecp jrlmcdi bqhwd shpamlgdk batzn pfvgdl pbzcfx
gqxz mghvq dlzycf mwcztfhv xumje zapjign qlfdh http://www.tjyc.adrk.com
fioricet on line
Hi guys,
I found so much useful things here.
Thank you.
fioricet withdrawal
http://fioricetbuyfior.blog.ijijiji.com
Very good site. Thanks!!
http://discounttires.weebly.com discount tires
Useful site. Thank you!!!
http://bathroomremodeling.weebly.com bathroom remodeling
Cool site. Thank you:-)
http://walmartpharmacy.weebly.com walmart pharmacy
Very good site. Thank you!!
http://jcpenney.weebly.com jcpenney
Cool site. Thanks!
http://purchaseionamin.weebly.com purchase ionamin
Nice site. Thanks:-)
http://valiumpurchase.weebly.com valium purchase
Good site. Thanks!!
http://users.newblog.com/buy_adderall_online buy adderall online
Good site. Thank you:-)
http://users.newblog.com/bathroomlighting bathroom lighting
Good site. Thank you.
http://users.newblog.com/kitchenknives kitchen knives
Very good site. Thanks.
http://users.newblog.com/dogcrate dog crate
Very good site. Thanks:-)
http://users.newblog.com/dogkennel dog kennel
Cool site. Thanks!!
http://users.newblog.com/dogcollars dog collars
Good site. Thanks!!
http://users.newblog.com/dogcollars dog collars
Nice site. Thanks!!
http://users.newblog.com/catfurniture cat furniture
Cool site. Thanks!!!
http://jcpenneyemployment.lookera.net jc penney employment
Nice site. Thank you!!!
http://jcpenneyjewelry.lookera.net jc penney jewelry
Nice site. Thank you!
http://jcpenneybedding.lookera.net jc penney bedding
Useful site. Thank you:-)
http://jcpenneyoptical.lookera.net jc penney optical
Nice site. Thanks.
http://jcpenneykiosk.lookera.net jc penney kiosk
