By Michael Rand
It’s official: The Tuna is no longer coaching the Cowboys. Bill Parcells has issued a statement reading, in part, “I am retiring from coaching football.” While he has done that several times already, he means it this time. No, really. Maybe he can develop a grill to rival that of his un-retirement contemporary, boxer George Foreman. We’d also like to point out that in his final seven seasons of coaching, his teams won a grand total of one playoff game. Also, please enjoy this photo on Deadspin, which is either one second before or one second after a moment of beautiful music between Parcells and Bill Belichick.