Randball » Blog Archive » “If you change your name to Boof, you’d better be good.”

“If you change your name to Boof, you’d better be good.”

Posted on January 26th, 2007 – 2:11 PM
By Michael Rand

Words to live by, fresh from the mouth of Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. If it seems as though the mascot story has been on top of RandBall forever, there’s a reason: We just came from the Twins’ media luncheon, which was both delicious and informative. We’ll let dedicated ball guy Joe Christensen fill you in on most of the nuts and bolts on Startribune.com and in tomorrow’s paper, but here are a few highlights:

*Dave St. Peter said he’s excited to have Dick Bremer and “a censored Bert Blyleven” back on the broadcast team. … No further elaboration is required, but that drew a pretty big laugh.

*Look forward to Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer and Michael Cuddyer bobbleheads in 2007.

*Twins President Jerry Bell said despite headaches over the land for the new ballpark, “It will get done.” … He also said it will have a distinctive look, adding, “Nothing will say, ‘That’s like the Metrodome,’ if we’ve done our job.”

*Several Twins players are shooting commercials today for an upcoming TV ad campaign.

*Boof Bonser and Joe Nathan were the player representatives. Much of the roster is in town for TwinsFest, which starts tonight.

*Of Sidney Ponson, Terry Ryan said, “There’s urgency in his career. … We’re going to see if we can get lucky here.” Several candidates are in the mix for the final spot in the rotation, including Ponson and the youngsters.

*Gardenhire went last, and was his typical funny self, baiting a certain columnist at the Star Tribune with a phrase RandBall is not at liberty to repeat.

*Gardenhire guaranteed a World Series title, and also boasted that he could eat his own weight in jelly beans. OK, we made both of those things up.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 26th, 2007 at 2:11 pm and is filed under Main, Sports. Baseball. Twins. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

232 Responses to "“If you change your name to Boof, you’d better be good.”"

Rocket says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:18 pm

The upcoming Twins season is to Minnesota sports fans what the Olsen twins’ 18th birthday was to lecherous old perverts.

AJH says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:25 pm

Dictionary.com must love you today.

Sean says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:29 pm

Has anyone checked to see if Natalee Holloway is trapped somewhere under Sidney Ponson’s belly?

Randball Spy says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:35 pm

Randball got to the meat of the luncheon, but not the dessert. As expected, Sid got that - best part of the event occurred while Terry Ryan was talking about pitchers or catchers or dome dogs or something.

Sid, having consumed his own meal, leaned in on the Twins media rep at the head table and asked if he could have said rep’s chocolate dessert.

Media rep took one for the team and passed said dessert - which was tasty, I might add - onto the veteran columnist. No word available at press time as to whether or not Hartman got the extra delicacy in his mouth or all over his sleeves.

telli-ho says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

Impressive Natalie Holloway reference. Count me impressed.

AJH says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:40 pm

I’m surprised that Sid asked instead of simply demanding.

Super Rookie says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:42 pm

Sean has my vote. I am in awe.

RandBall says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:52 pm

Sean, quality stuff.

Paul Paulos says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:53 pm

Ahh baseball !! Now we only have ice fishing season ( + hockey and NBA #@&*%) until opening day. Can’t wait

Coyote says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:54 pm

Randball, is there any way that you can get Sid to post here what he thinks of the blog. I guarantee 300 comments and most likely a simile involving raisins.

RandBall says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:57 pm

I’ll work on a guest post. Early line: Not optimistic.

AJH says:

January 26th, 2007 at 2:59 pm

Coyote, I like your thought, but maybe we could get Sid to actually write his own column before we start to over reach and introduce him to these hip, new things that all the kids are doing called “blogs.”

Coyote says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:03 pm

If we’re giving early lines, I would say my opening line is: “Writers who have been around for 60 years don’t do those damn things”

Sean says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:05 pm

Reusse had a quality rip on Sid this morning, saying that Sid’s column on Dungy — particularly the part where Sid recounts being in Dungy’s office in Tampa — sounded as if it had been written by Chris Farley’s SNL interview skit character.

Toonces51 says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm

“Writers who have been around for 60 years don’t know how to do those damn things”

Randball Spy says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:09 pm

Randball, if Sid were to write a post for Randball, would he type it himself or would he dictate it into that ridiculous recorder and throw the tape on Zulgad’s desk to have him transcribe the tape and write the post?

Coyote says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:28 pm

Yes!!!! Randball finally took his shot at Sid. The floodgates are open!

Coyote says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:29 pm

Correction, randball SPY. My disappointment is at historic levels.

Gopher Nation says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:32 pm

I just wonder somewhere during that interview with Dungy, Tony was thinking, “man, this is 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” But smiled on the other end of the line and finished the interview.

I also wonder when he finished, if he went up to Jim Ersay and asked him if he wouldn’t mind plunging a fork in his eye.

RandBall says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Coyote, how does it compare to the disappointment you felt in yourself at the end of “The Crying Game?”

Sassbottom says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:36 pm

Was Eric Perkins at the Twins thing? He’s gotta be second only to Sid on the Obnoxious Sports “Journalist” Scale (or at least tied with Shooter. And Mike Max. And … oh, nevermind.)

I fondly recall attending a Glen Mason media luncheon back in the day. At said event, Perkins walked in late, clanged through the buffet, sat down at a table facing away from Mason, chowed down with a vengeance, went back for two desserts, continued with the face-stuffing, then got up and left before Mason had finished taking questions. He never said a word.

It was maybe the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen.

AJH says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:39 pm

You know what’s great about that Sassbottom? That’s Perk. There’s no act to him … he really is just that bizarre.

b-par says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:45 pm

I betcha Gardy had Coors Light and Chicken wings ordered in for the luncheon.

RandBall says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:50 pm

No chicken wings or Coors … but I did once, with Gardenhire, eat shrimp cocktail being chilled by an ice sculpture of Sid while the Twins manager told the future Mrs. RandBall how hungry he was. Absolutely true story.

Jon says:

January 26th, 2007 at 3:55 pm

Hey, Sid has a podcast. Do YOU have a podcast?

How much do you want to bet that Sid has absolutely no idea what’s going on during that podcast? Other than that somebody’s going to go out and put it on a series of tubes, that is.

Gardy seems like the kind of guy who’s all about having fun - light a fire in someone’s kitchen, maybe take his pants off, that kind of thing.

AJH says:

January 26th, 2007 at 4:05 pm

To record the Podcast, they probably just keep him in the ‘CCO studio for a couple of minutes and tell him he’s on the air.

Jon says:

January 26th, 2007 at 4:20 pm

SID: “Where’s the regular guy?”
INTERVIEWER: “No, Sid, that’s the Sunday morning show. You’re thinking of Dave Mona. I’m not Dave Mona.”

(long pause)

SID: “Dave who?”

Gopher Nation says:

January 26th, 2007 at 4:22 pm

I thought they directed Sid into a closet, turned on the light, and told him he was on the air.

Rocket says:

January 26th, 2007 at 5:33 pm

Paul Paulos is to multiple, 79.2% unintelligible rants as Sid is to old.

Sassbottom says:

January 26th, 2007 at 6:33 pm

Oh, dear lord …

There needs to be a RandBall podcast.

This MUST happen.

Make this happen, RandBall.

RandBall says:

January 26th, 2007 at 7:07 pm

I’ll try … might not be that hard, at least as a weekly post.

Paul Paulos says:

January 27th, 2007 at 1:55 pm

Again Rocket !! Can you spell obsessive-compulsive ? For some reason, I feel you know that label well

Paul Paulos says:

January 27th, 2007 at 2:22 pm

Rocketman, I would expect more from you with a great CB handle like “Rocket”. Nonetheless, your endless (and occasionally funny) unprovoked attacks on me remind me of an equally lame word missile performed as a joke usually outside of high school.

The scene was simple. The jokemaster (me) would ask an unsuspecting passing nerd (you) if they had a match. The nerd, wanting to feel part of the crowd, any crowd, would always, of course, say no. At this point the school jester (me again) would say ” I do. My b.tt and your face”

Now, that bit of remembered humor can’t match your taunts of wisdom, but then again I didn’t labor at them, as I’m sure you do. But keep up the good work, since, like I said, I occasionally laugh. Ha. See I’m laughing