It’s like Puppy Bowl, except with babies
Posted on March 19th, 2007 – 8:33 AMBy Michael Rand
Sometimes you wonder, “Just how far does television have to sink before Congress or Mark Cuban steps in and saves us all.” Well, we think things might have hit bottom, which is an important milestone. Witness a press release we just received about a show that seeks to 1) Capitalize on March Madness by 2) Degrading and exploiting defenseless and presumably cute babies. “Baby Madness” is really mind-blowing. We’ll let the release do some talking before we get back to a couple other things (anything in bold involves either another terrible basketball pun or is too surreal for words, and that photo is courtesy of PR Newswire and was an attachment with the release):
The brackets are out and James Brown is in the studio … but the dribbling on this hardwood doesn’t involve basketballs. Whether or not you are a hoops fan, Discovery Health’s BABY MADNESS is a slam dunk for anyone who enjoys watching babies play and learning about their development. As a celebration of all things baby, BABY MADNESS offers unbeatable entertainment while providing the latest tips on raising a happy, healthy little one.
If you think some of the college freshmen look young on the court, wait until you see our squad — babies age 10 to 30 months — participating in a lively lineup of events including everything from diaper derbies to finger painting. When BABY MADNESS premieres on Saturday, March 31, from 6 to 9 PM (ET/PT) on Discovery Health, viewers will have a courtside seat to see the babies dunk, shake and bake, and just act their age in the unique Discovery Health Arena. From the opening whistle all the way to the closing diaper change, BABY MADNESS will have sports fans — and people who can’t stand sports — giving our little participants a standing ovation and sharing in the pure joy that only babies can bring.
Hosted by iconic sports anchor James Brown, along with child development experts Dr. Sharon Ramey and Dr. Christina Johns, BABY MADNESS not only gives viewers great play-by-play commentary of the adorable action, but it also provides real insights into early child development and behavior. As sports-themed counter-programming in a similar vein to Animal Planet’s PUPPY BOWL, BABY MADNESS places our little participants into three divisions: 10 to 17 month-olds, 18 to 24 month-olds and 25 to 30 month-olds. That’s when the madness begins! The Main Events include the Diaper Derby and Obstacle Course, Music and Dancing, Eating, Hoops and Balls, a Half-Time show and Finger-Painting. The Playroom Activities include blocks, mirrors, bubbles, textures, sandbox, water play, shapes and puzzles.
Un. Be. Lievable. A couple of things: 1) We read the first paragraph and recoiled in horror with the thought, “This is just like Puppy Bowl,” and only later did we read that these folks are bragging about that. 2) The reason Puppy Bowl is funny is that you’re pretty sure you’re not scarring a human for life. 3) Right or wrong, we’re rooting for VCU babies against Duke babies.
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