I’m not sure what I would do without Fiber. Seriously, I don’t want to get overly dramatic, but I can say this with complete confidence: Crew Fiber makes my hair look more fantastic than any other product available. And it isn’t even close. I don’t know how it works. I don’t really want to know. I’d prefer to continue believing that it’s a simple five-letter word: Magic.

I’m not sure why other manufacturers insist on making their own products when everybody in this world can plainly see yours are the best. Specifically, of course, I am talking again about Fiber, which has the unbelievable property of holding hair without making it too shiny. And it’s not even greasy. It’s like it’s made of some sort of super-material that fell to the Earth. In fact, I would not be surprised if astronomers and astrophysicists one day determined that the combination contained within Fiber’s hockey puck container are, in fact, the very materials from which life as we know it was created.

Perhaps that’s a little bit of a stretch. I don’t know. All I’m certain of is that when my fiancé first introduced me to your product, I was immediately smitten. I had been dallying for years with other less effective products until she set me on the right path. Some left my hair rigid and sharp like porcupine quills; others were less intrusive but didn’t hold; still others made me feel like frogs were attacking my scalp. Fiber, mercifully, is none of those things.