Let’s preface this by saying we did see “Wolf” in the theater in 1994, but we barely remember any of it. We wanted to use “Zapped” for movie quote Wednesday, but IMDB.com doesn’t have quotes for that brilliant 1982 Scott Baio vehicle, which taught us valuable lessons about the supernatural and changing the channel when we heard footsteps.

“The demon wolf is not evil unless the man he has bitten is evil”: Well, how predictable was that last night? Not only did the Wolves not move up in the lottery, staying stuck at No. 7, but the team with equal odds — the Portland Trail Blazers — represented at the lottery by the player the Wolves traded who turned out to be the Rookie of the Year (Brandon Roy) ended up with the No. 1 pick. As soon as we saw Roy sitting next to Randy Foye last night, we knew it was over. So: That was it. That was the last legitimate chance to make this team better in the next three years. Now it’s just an endless sea of mediocre players with long, bad contracts mixed with evaporating No. 1 draft picks and one aging superstar who still cares.

“The worm has turned and it is now packing an Uzi, Mary”: Jason Giambi isn’t fast, but apparently he has speed. It’s time for Giambi to just go away. Right?

“In an odd way you’re your own problem”: OK, that doesn’t really fit with Justin Morneau’s two home runs and Johan Santana’s 13 strikeouts, but it’s kind of nice to see “you’re” and “your” used correctly, one right after the other. And hey, maybe the Twins are the Twins’ biggest problem. Yeah, ever think of that?

“I’ve been offered a choice between no job and a job nobody would want”: Roll out the links: Is Roy Hibbert staying at Georgetown? We can’t find anything from Celtics lover Bill Simmons on his team’s slide to No. 5. We’ll settle for this. And, of course, Mystery Link!

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