By Michael Rand
1) This Rolling Rock commercial, which has made the rounds like Paris Hilton. On a certain level, and we’re not sure why, viral marketing bothers us. The Internets started out all organic, like a free-range chicken, and they have turned into a place where mega-bucks companies court the youth of America. It won’t be long until the Internets aren’t any fun at all. And then there will have to be a new invention. Like the Supernet, which will be like the Internet but instead of merely being a series of tubes, it will be a series of tubes built into a waterpark, and all the users can splash down in the middle. And we’ll all enjoy some cold beverages, but not Rolling Rock because they’re viral marketers who make a beer that tastes like you accidentally drank the almost-empty bottle someone has been using as an ashtray. Yeah, it’s going to be great.
2) Michelle Wie might be more Marinovich than Tiger. And this whole golf thing might be over before she exits her teens. It could end with a hailstorm of clubs flying over the edge of a gorgeous Hawaii cliff. Just sayin’.
3) If you type “dog space shuttle” into Google Images, what will happen? (Answer is above). As for why those three words popped into our head, we really don’t know and we don’t want to know.
4) Don’t you think somewhere there is video of Roger Federer drunk and streaking in France, shouting “I hate [redacted] clay” over and over again?
5) We have never watched an episode of The Sopranos, so we are not sad that it’s gone. We understand it’s probably a fine program, but frankly it scares us that people form emotional attachments to TV shows. But that’s just us.