We’ll be more than happy to talk about Bert Blyleven’s head-shaving promise and other good things in just a minute. But it might interest you to know how we arrived at “Roger Dodger,” a very enjoyable flick, for movie quote Wednesday. Or maybe it doesn’t. Either way: We read an item last night that Reggie Theus is the new coach of the Sacramento Kings. For some reason, that reminded us that Theus was on some long-forgotten TV show as a hoops coach, and for some reason we swore that maybe it was “Saved By The Bell.” An Internets search proved us right and wrong; it was not SBTB, but it was an easy mistake because the show he was on, “Hang Time,” as coach Bill Fuller, was basically SBTB with basketball. Both of the shows had basketball gyms the size of a racquetball court. It would hardly be surprising if the three point lines on both ends overlapped. (Aside: If Theus coaches the Kings like he did the fictional Tornadoes toward the end of this clip, it’s going to be a long season in Sacramento. Brad Miller might punch him in the face). In any event, we had to look up SBTB on IMDB.com, and for some reason that made us follow the Elizabeth Berkley link (she’s turning 35 next month, by the way). And we had completely forgotten that her career, boosted by her portrayal of Jessie before being buried under the naked, gyrating ash of “Showgirls,” had been revived and that she was in “Roger Dodger.” So here we are now.

“You have to remind them that they’re missing something from their lives. Everyone’s missing something, right?” Yes, and that someone will be Blyleven and that something will be hair. Yes, he promised to have his head shaved if Johan Santana threw a complete-game shutout. Santana struck out just one batter — in the ninth inning, no less — but he went the distance without allowing a run. We didn’t see the game, but apparently FSN was all over it and wouldn’t let Bert forget the promise. Stensation writes in an e-mail: “The producers in the truck took notice. The number of bald men shown on FSN over innings 6-9 was more disturbing than Mickelson’s play from the rough at Oakmont. But I digress.” Oh, we’re live?

“If you feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic, heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means.” A Kobe Bryant tape has leaked. No, not that kind of tape. It’s one of him trashing the Lakers. This won’t end well.

“I could tell you that what you think of as your personality is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fair articles. … I could tell you that given a week to study your father and the ways in which he ignores you I could come up with a schtick you’d be helpless to resist. Helpless.” Um, we just like that quote. But Ozzie Guillen? He doesn’t like much of anything these days.

“You drink that drink! Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you’re going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?” Just one more quote to try to sway you to see the movie. Quickly: Interesting piece in our paper on the U of M, buyouts and how the financial hit from the M&M boys (Mason and Monson) might not be as bad as you think. … Alexi Lalas says MLS is just as good as the Premier League. Also, the Olsen twins just polished off 96-ounce steaks. … And, as always: Mystery link! It’s going to be a great day. We have a guest dispatch from the stands at Shea last night, complete with photo of Mr. Met. If all goes well, that joking question thrown out at the end of the Kenny Anderson post might be a reality today. Seriously.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 at 8:45 am and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.