Hey kids: Check out our new weekly feature in which we trade e-mails with Big Daddy Drew (he of Kissing Suzy Kolber and Deadspin fame, where the language is a lot saltier than you’ll find here, kids) and we both even use the singular personal “I” on several occasions! Drew is a talented writer and an angry Vikings fan. What better combination is there? So we busted out our big bowl of redacteds and started a new weekly series. What better time than after a bitter loss to the Packers? Here’s the first installment. Think of it as Vikings Fan Line with a smidgen of coherence. We dare you to read the whole thing.

RandBall: The Vikings having an interception by Sharper nullified by illegal contact — seriously, before I saw that flag I thought Sharper might be a damn genius in wishing for three picks and Favre breaking that INT record — followed not too long after by the record-breaking TD pass and a moment of recognition at the Metrodome? One of the 10 most bitter experiences a Vikings fan can ever have.

Big Daddy Drew: Not to mention the fact that the crowd was, what, 50% Packer fans? Pathetic. Didn’t the Star Trib even have a mini-section for Packer fans for a while? [yes]. That [redacted] drives me insane. I’m fine with Wisconsin Packer fans driving over to attend the game. That’s their right. But I think there are WAYYYY too many Packer fans who are originally from Minnesota.

RB: Kelly Holcomb misses too many momentum-turning throws (Ferguson last week, Rice early this week), and I really don’t like his body language when calls don’t go his way or teammates line up in the wrong formation. He’s reminiscent of a 15-year-old girl that’s been told she now has a 1,000 text message per month limit. This QB situation is so messed up. T-Jack is not ready. Bollinger is not good. Holcomb is not worth it. Daunte is winning. Where’s Jeff George?

BDD: Agreed. I could have done without Holcomb spending the entire game sticking his fingers in his earholes. He just looks completely out of place. BUT we all know Holcomb is crummy. So why is Childress putting the game in HIS hands, and depending on him to make plays? IDIOTIC. I don’t profess to know any more about football than anyone else, and I hate sportswriters who do just that (all of them). But it’s glaringly evident to everyone BUT Childress that Adrian Peterson needs to be the focal point of the offense. If he’s not getting handoffs, he should be in on screen plays, or being a decoy on play-action passes. We have this incredible runner. Yet, not only do the vikings refuse to hand him the ball, they refuse to use him to help the rest of the offense. A good running game is supposed to open up the passing game, is it not? Keep the D honest? Well, nothing in yesterday’s game plan made any use of that. If Marty Schottenheimer was the coach of this team, and I am by no means a Marty fan, this offense would begin and end with Purple Jesus. Why this team throws more than 20 times a game is baffling.

RB: Just in case you forgot, that’s 11 losses in the last 14 games of the Brad Childress Era. This team was 4-2 after beating the Bejesus out of Seattle last year and sucking me in yet again. Green Bay is 4-0 and has won eight in a row going back to last year. [Redacted] that.

BDD: There were games against the Packers a couple years back where Mike Sherman would go away from Ahman Green even if Green was running for 6 yards a carry, and the vikes eked out a couple victories because of that generosity. Childress is the exact same kind of coach. He’s so busy thinking about his gameplan that he’s ignoring what is obvious to everyone else in the building.

RB: Take away Chet Taylor’s 37-yard run and he had 7 carries for 3 yards; take away A. Pete’s 55-yard run and you still have 11 carries for 57 yards. Peterson is the one offensive player that can make a play. He needs to touch the ball 25 times per game, preferably with none of those coming IN THE KICKING GAME. Period. End of story.

BDD: That really pissed me off. If you’re so scared of Peterson being injured, WHY IS HE RETURNING KICKS? Are they crazy? Let a scrub do that. Would Larry Johnson return kicks? Gimme a break. This offense has a chance to have an identity, and Peterson is the key to that. Instead, they’re running this bizarre passing offense that is completely ill-suited to the personnel on the field. I don’t get it. Supposedly, you can win in the NFL if you can run and defend the run. Well, the Vikings can do both very well! So why the hell aren’t we doing more of it? The fact that we run shotgun formation on 3rd and 2 is [redacted redacted]. Why not paint SACK ME on Holcomb is giant red letters?

RB: That said: Sidney Rice at least showed a glimmer of hope in the passing game. That TD catch was a thing of beauty, and he plays with some emotion.

BDD: I agree. But why are we relying on Holcomb-to-Rice to win games?

RB: That said: When you bitter rival that has been shoving the ball up your [redacted] all day with a QB you hate who has set one of football’s all-time hallowed records … sorry, vein popping … when that team gives you a gift, such as a fumble with less than two minutes left and no timeouts remaining, for the sweet love of all things pure you need to capitalize on that gift and tie the game. I thought the whole Packers season was going to crumble. I really did. First the fumble; then Al Harris was on the turf; I had visions of an ACL, a tying TD, a winning coin toss and something really [redacted] awesome from AP in OT. Then Holcomb threw a 2.5 yard pass to somebody covered like a blanket, it was intercepted, they cried for interference and of course. It was the Vikings. Why don’t I ever learn?

BDD: Nope. Neither do I.

RB: Guess that pass defense isn’t really fixed, huh?

BDD: Nope. But, if we ran the ball more, if would give opponents less time on the field to establish a rhythm in the passing game. Amazing how that works.

RB: The only blessing in this whole [redacted]-feast was that I had insanely consented to a family brunch that started around 1 p.m. Now, it was a brunch featuring my mother, my step-dad, my wife and my in-laws. They are all wonderful people, and they saved me from watching most of the middle quarters. Had I seen the whole game, I might be as angry as you are right now. As such, I’m merely extremely [redacted redacted].

BDD: I wish I had eaten brunch instead of watching the game. Eggs Benedict rules. The Vikings right now? Not so much.

RB: The coaching situation local fans are less pleased with: Norv Turner in SD or Brad Childress here. Go.

BDD: San Diego. They have the players to be a championship team, yet they threw it all away because of some idiotic power struggle. By the time they fix it, it’ll be too late. That would make me very angry. I always knew deep in my heart that the Vikings would be lousy this year. But they don’t have to be as lousy as they are right now. That’s all Childress.

RB: On my way back from “up north,” as we call it here, a deer ran across the road, oblivious to myself, my car, or even the concept of motorized traffic. If I had arrived one second earlier, that deer would be dead and my car would have a huge dent. Stupid, beautiful, oblivious deer. And yet I have full confidence that this deer, were it put in charge of the Vikings offense, would find a way to get Adrian Peterson the ball at least 25 times from scrimmage. I’ll leave it at that.

BDD: Agreed. I don’t understand how something that’s so obvious even to an imbecile like myself can go unnoticed by a professional coaching staff. There’s no way I know more about football than Brad Childress. So why is he screwing this up so badly?

P.S. (8:57 a.m.), from BDD: One more thing: this whole thing about Peterson not being on the field because he’s not up to speed on pass protection is crap. Okay, so he can’t block well right now. Then put in a second back and have HIM block and send Peterson out, or split him wide. That is absolutely no excuse to take him out. He can’t block? Fine. Let someone else block and let Peterson work his freakin’ magic. Or don’t pass at all! We aren’t good at it!

PPS (9:24 a.m.) from BDD: From Peter King:

“When Favre left the field after the game, he stopped to hug the Vikings mascot, the stringy-bearded Ragnar. It was the 16th time Ragnar — a Minnesotan named Joe Juranich — had seen Favre come into the ‘Dome, and the first time they hugged. Ragnar stands for all things Vikings. Favre has been the archrival. Juranich knows he should hate Favre, but he can’t. When Favre had gone, Juranich said: “I went out into the parking lots today before the game, because I wanted to tell the fans, ‘Don’t you dare boo this man today. He’s been through so much, and he’s such a credit to the game. We should cheer him, and give him credit for being such a great player over the years.’ You just have to admire him. I mean this: It’s good to see him break it here.””

[Redacted].

This entry was posted on Monday, October 1st, 2007 at 10:30 am and is filed under Main, Monday Meltdown. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.