We have it on good authority that the Twins, in conjunction with a few other agencies, will be conducting an emergency response drill at the new ballpark site tomorrow morning. According to a press release: The specific purpose for Friday’s drill is to ensure that emergency responders can efficiently enter and maneuver through the site to get as close to a mock accident as possible. Drills will occur at several times during the construction of the ballpark to account for site changes.

In the spirit of cooperation, we thought it might be a nice idea to include some potential “emergencies” the Twins are going to want to account for during these drills.

1) Emergency: Nick Punto is the starting second baseman when the ballpark opens. Possible action: The possible inclusion of a thin row of thumbtacks on the outside of the first base line just before the bag.

2) Emergency: The Twins have traded every high-performing player except Joe Mauer and has a payroll of $40 million. Possible action: Trading the hard-earned money in your pocket for goods and services that don’t involve the Twins.

3) Emergency: The plans for upgraded concessions somehow don’t include garlic fries. Possible action: A fan revolt that starts with a shocking refusal to play TWINGO.

4) Emergency: Matt LeCroy Bobblehead night. Possible action: None.

More?

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 3:23 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.