Fasolamatt sends in this gem under with the description, “Things not to get me for X-mas.” But sir, why wouldn’t you want a SportsCenter Keepsake Ornament? We swore we read that in your diary, no? Really, you don’t want a product that is described thusly:

Channel his inner sports guy with this very clever TV ornament tuned to ESPN’s SportsCenter. When he presses the button, the screen lights up, and he’ll hear the sweet strains of the SportsCenter theme song. It’ll be music to his ears. Comes with a full-sized Hallmark greeting card, with your personal message.

Surely you jest, sir. Because for the low price of $15, with the optional add-on of a premium gift box ($4.95) that we’re told says, “Open Me First,” this 4 x 3.25 inch battery-operated treasure could be yours. Still not interested? Did we mention it has button activated light and sound? Last chance. Sigh. There is just no pleasing Fasolamatt.

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