With the delivery of what could be one of the most damning documents in sports history just hours away, we want to call your attention to another matter that needs urgent attention: Zubaz are trying to make a comeback. These waistline and thigh conforming pants were popular in the late 1980s, hitting a peak in sales one year at $30 million. Then, like Erasure and trunks full of cocaine, people forgot about Zubaz and we thought we’d never have to think of them again. Such is not the case, however, and the re-revolution is starting right here in Minnesota, where it all began with two men and a “dare to be different” slogan. We have to admit to being suckered into their popularity during the initial phase. Our “go-to” clothing combination when we were about 13 was a Bart Simpson T-shirt at a pair of Zubaz shorts. It is really quite a flattering ensemble. Look, we’ll give the guys their due for the first go-round. They caught lightning in a bottle. But let’s not have another generation walking around like our former Governor. You will not look like this. You will look terrible. OK, confession time: Who here has owned a pair of Zubaz; if not, what’s the most hideous article of clothing you have proudly worn?

Fasola-link! Spiderpig.

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