Best hidden comedy of the year
Posted on December 21st, 2007 – 2:46 PMBy Michael Rand
A story about a woman at a Grizzlies game flashing the crowd via the Jumbotron doesn’t need much more help to be funny. But then you watch the Youtube video of the TV report, and you are rewarded with a string of words so amusing that you can’t stop laughing for minutes. Or maybe days. It’s only been minutes so far. We don’t want to ruin it, but here are the words (we ruined it anyway): “The police report says she admitted to flashing the crowd while dancing. The report describes Simpson as a sailing captain, and possibly under the influence of alcohol.”
This story is a Christmas miracle, and we won’t accept any other explanation.
29 Responses to "Best hidden comedy of the year"
AWESOME!!!
I love the guys explanation that it hasn’t been a good year for the Grizzlies so this was a good distraction for fans. Time for some math.
Grizzly wins = 8
Wolves wins = 3
Grizzly fans distraction = Grizzly Wins/flashing fan
Wolves fans distraction = Wolves Wins/X
Find X.
I’m not sure how X can be anything less than full frontal nudity based on the Wolves’ struggles this year.
Yeah, I’d probably go to a game then. Would she be wearing her captain’s hat though? Would she get “bonded out” again too?
Nice, I got that past the P3 5000…
Find X? If we put Xavier McDaniel in the equation, it’s only going to get more complicated.
Better video of the news report…
http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=00942E3E348558DFAD072B5C13BD1CBA?contentId=5255298&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
Full frontal? If the McLovin’s keep it up, I think we would get at least a Cinemax reenactment…
Not to change the subject to something that was brought up earlier (but I’m doing it anyway), but weren’t the Mariners at least mentioned a couple times in the Johan negotiations? Now that they gave his big buddy almost $50 mil, does that mean they’re going to give Johan another run? I mean, they have uber money there to do so, what with restricting the availability of the Wii this year so they could sell them all on eBay for 5x the retail price…
RandB, I waited for those sweet Xmas cherry bits atop the heaving mounds of flesh, but noooooooooo, no thing showed !! What’s up with that ? Is there no place in this fine land if a redblooded American boy wants to see what some reblooded American girl wants to offer as as her presents these Holidaze, he can. Censors !! Bah humbug.
Everywhere..it’s like some old actress said ( I think) that it’s OK for Chuckee Heston or Norris to chop off a mam with a sword, but heaven forbid they show that breast in it’s whole and wondrous state. Thanks for the mammaries ..not!
Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To:
I enjoy nudity.
This has been another edition of Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To.
I’m honored, Stu, that during all your summations you act like an intern I had long ago who could sum my words, albeit quite clumsily, yet do so without offering any shred of his own opinion…the fallout of the No Children left Behind generation..
I think Stu is gone for the day so I’ll fill in for him.
Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To:
(crickets)
This has been another edition of Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To.
I think P3 needs his own blog. If only so I don’t have to scroll so far to ignore what he’s writing.
A woman gets arrested for showing her boobies in public. Clearly, the terorists have won.
Roughkat: I am out the door for an Old-Fashioned Renville County Christmas, so I appreciate your help.
Dear Lizzy,
Learn how to spell.
T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T-S
Kat, let’s try this idea in a more convoluted sense..
That is, I’ll throw out a word burp like you guys do, some tired one liners describing a situation or player that really add little to any conversation, then you>>>>>>>>>>>>flesh those few short sentences into something intriquing and much more illustrative than any pt. you would normally try to make..
i.e. I B U and U B me (I’m sure U can spell that)….
Ok here goes>>>>my topic, of course, is the horse, Peterson, and I see him as rough cut, much potential, but no skills in blocking in a moving pocket, has “stone hands” (fumbler), only average receiver, and is as likely to blow another knee as receive any other injury as the good teams, much better teams, aim at removing him from his senses…
So, take those one liners from that paragraph above, the same crappola you might burp up if you were a Green Bay fan, and then flesh out those arguments into a decent thesis even intelligent people (me) could read.
Believe me, writing the longer version is much tougher, so risk you rep and see if you can write..anything beyond “where’s the party, dude ?”
Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To (Special Pre-Going-to-Hector-Minnesota-Edition):
Adrian Peterson is a running back in the National Football League. He may or may not get injured. I am smart.
This has been another edition of Reading P3 So You Don’t Have To.
P3, I still don’t get why you’re here. You don’t rile us up like you apparently think you do.
You fill the role of the joke more than that of the comedian. We do appreciate the fodder for Stu’s humor though…
He’s here as part of the crusade to keep women out of sports writing.
Stu’s humor !…that’s a humorous statement unto itself..so Stu, you are NOW under my command…so DO WHAT I SAY..that is (again since you were such a moron you missed the first instructions) take this parapgraph below, a very short one like your …. but I won’t go there and your job NOW, if you can fully understand it is to flesh it out to a intelligent piece (NOT like yours, get it)…so here’s that already summed paragraph…so pretend NOW you can write ..
“my topic, of course, is the horse, Peterson, and I see him as rough cut, much potential, but no skills in blocking in a moving pocket, has “stone hands” (fumbler), only average receiver, and is as likely to blow another knee as receive any other injury as the good teams, much better teams, aim at removing him from his senses”
Can you deal with the real language or will you exhibit your ignorance once again and sum up what already is a summation ? Personally, since I’ve seen so little writing talent from you, the answer to that question is a given. My, my how your insignificant other must be proud of you…
Lizzy, by your writing alone you accomplish that crusade quite admirably.
Lizzy,
do U have some kind of affective disorder or is it some kind of joke that you address your blogs to yourself as above..
“Dear Lizzy,
Learn how to spell.
T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T-S ”
and if so, that’s fine since that way you know someone is listening..
also as far as busting boobies in public I said it much better earlier, but thanks for the credit, but don’t let that credit leave your lips….heaven forbid, not here in the land of the Fine Young Cannibals
yap yap yap yap yap
Seriously, P3 go find some people “worthy” of that mindless drivel you spill so freely. You’ve made it clear that you don’t think that audience is here.
I think your keyboard has the flu…it has been vomiting all over these pages for a few weeks now. Go get that checked out.
The real trouble here is that I don’t think you understand why we don’t seem to like your commentary. You think it’s because we disagree with you. Truthfully, I don’t know that anyone here really puts a whole lot of weight on your opinions. The reason we don’t like your commentary is that it reads like the work of an illiterate 13-year-old, it’s immature and petty (what we expect from ACCESS VIKINGS), and it often the same thing over and over and over again. If you have something more interesting to say, and are able to say it in a coherent manner, maybe we’d actually address the “arguments” that you’re trying to make. Otherwise, you’re really not worth the effort. Sorry…
OK Dave, here’s something all sportminded males can get behind, Pack fan or Vike fan, good team or bad. I have “blogged” in other more literate areas of discussion, but they also have their invisicenors blocking words even if those words exactly fit the mood and context of the sentence.
I am, of course, talking of the word most used in EVERY sportsman’s conversation (except at the in-laws if you have a bad case of those or are around females who usually make sour pickle faces hearing this word).
I am, of course, talking of the cleverly disguised f..k. Just think of it’s multivariate power in it’s many forms as a verb, noun, adjective or just a delightful pre or post game activity. Yet, no matter the popularity of it’s usage, it is not allowed on these pages or even yelled into a crowded theater.
So, in the spirit of rapprochement (pass what that means to the others, Dave) I say we should all petition this once radical rag to allow my fav word, and the favorite word of many. But as for Lizzy, I don’t know about her being so unladylike to use this foulness of language, since I saw her (over)reaction the last time we met on these pages, so she and most women might want to pass on this rebellion..
And what was so amusing about the story?
Ooops, Lizzy. I speeeeeeeeeed read your piecewhen I read your piece (12/21…5:33) the same way my gems are speed read and missed that u were correcting yourself….sorry ’bout that
I’m late to the game here (greetings from oberlin ohio) but why do I have the feeling that if McHale solved for X, it would be full frontal… of Dark Star?
