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The Internets: Tennis is “idiotic,” boring

Posted on January 2nd, 2008 – 11:47 AM
By Michael Rand

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001fieldhockey.jpgNikolay Davydenko, the subject of an ATP probe (pictured to the right), is lashing out at tennis’ governing body, calling the investigation into match-fixing “idiotic.” Someone* went on to say that while men’s tennis used to be enjoyable in the heyday of John McEnroe and wooden racquets, it is now a depressing game of smash and flail that nobody wants to watch. (The description of that image, by the way, was just a joke. It is actually still footage of the first live birth ever on a field hockey pitch. Sorry for the confusion).

The Biscay Liquor Store, where a Gophers football player got himself into some hot water recently, is featured prominently on the Wikipedia page for the town of Biscay. It is listed under “tourism.” We love that.

Soon, you will be paying T.O. royalties for your shame.

It is rather astonishing, but just 30 games into the season, the McLovins already have five losings streaks of at least five games. That, folks, is hard to do. It has to break just right, really. To distract you, please turn your attention to the Spotlight on Eileen! It is estimated she has spent $3,700 in her life on ChapStick. Sadly, there are no J. Geils Band Dexys Midnight Runners related questions.

*Us.

11 Responses to "The Internets: Tennis is “idiotic,” boring"

Dave MN says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 11:56 am

I like how Eileen decided that the “morning after - wearing a men’s shirt, untied necktie, and no pants” look was one of the two she wanted to go for in that profile. No one will jump to any conclusions about her based on that. Nor based on the amount of money spent on chapstick…

Re: The Picture - I didn’t know that midwifery was a part of field hockey. Do they get points for that? Is it the halftime show?

Finally, will T.O. come up with a cure for my blindness and pay for the laser treatment of my hairy palms…

/lewd post

I feel gross now. Time for lunch.

Clarence Swamptown says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am

As a latchkey child of the ’80s, I am fairly sure that “Come on Eileen” was by Dexy’s Midnight Runners, not the J. Geils Band.

Unless there is some other connection that I am missing. In that case I am very sorry for speaking up, and carry on…

Stu says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 11:59 am

The Biscay Liquor Store…is featured prominently on the Wikipedia page for the town of Biscay. It is listed under “tourism.” We love that.

Biscay Liquors is the only thing in Biscay. That would be why it’s listed as such, sir.

RandBall says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:03 pm

yargh. fixed.

Dave MN says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Why don’t they just call the town “Biscay Liquors” then? I don’t want to imagine houses or anything if they aren’t there.

Jimmy Hoffa says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm

It’s pictures like that that make a guy think, “I wish I was gay.”

jama says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:12 pm

As a former child prodigy in Tennis, I demand the title of this post be changed.

Idiotic- Yes

Boring-Only to watch on TV.

Jimmy Hoffa says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:18 pm

jama,

Table tennis?

jama says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:41 pm

I wish it was table tennis, those guys got all the ladies!

Jimmy Hoffa says:

January 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm

The “players wives” sections are pretty huge at those events.

I think you’re right.