Friday (RandBall: the novel) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on January 4th, 2008 – 8:30 AMBy Michael Rand
He heard the click, that most sickening noise, and he knew trouble hadn’t yet left the room. There was swimming in his mouth, a faint aroma of burning, and his thoughts were warped like an injection of twisted metal. It had all gone so horribly wrong, and now it had come to this: a half-hearted explanation that it wasn’t really what it had seemed. Something about B-12, he had mumbled. “I can tell you’re lying,” the perpetrator sneered, “because your lips are moving.” His mind ached, reaching for the answer to the question that bit with a shark’s ferocity. What do you want? “Revenge. Always and only.” Still? Hadn’t it been long enough? It would probably be pretty good to assume those are dumb questions. But now that the heavy machinery was in play, it was best not to ask. He wanted so desperately go to back 24 hours and do things differently. He wouldn’t have taunted that French maid. He would have had the steak, not the chicken. And he would have brought at least one more heavy hitter with him into the brawl instead of conceding the power to a rival. But he had been cocky, a sure cover for fear. And he had lost when he should have won. This was no time for hindsight, though. It was all about looking forward and figuring out a way out of all this. The sun peeked through the window, a surprise to everyone. Sweet mercy, this already? The rays temporarily blinded his foe, and in that instant he launched himself at the piece and in one swoop turned the tide. It was a stunning reversal, and he now had a choice. What to do with this power? Let it corrupt him? Should he now have mercy? He felt the shadow, the untamed heat from the mouth. But he was not a killer. “Get out of here,” he said. “I never want to see you again. And tell your pal Fasolamatt to keep those links coming if he knows what’s good for him!”
27 Responses to "Friday (RandBall: the novel) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
Rand
Are you hullucinating this morning? I thought you already learned your lesson when it comes to those magic mushrooms.
There was swimming in his mouth
Um, what?
Well, if the US Government says I need those vitamins, I better go get some Ovaltine.
Toonces, I’d go for the Flintstones chewable variety…
10 million strong and growing!
“I better go get some Ovaltine.”
A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!
I want another installment of these “Random Days of our Life”…a good read indeed.
After tap dancing on a few hyperlinks in the novel, I asked a friend of mine, a lifelong vegetarian who shoots up with B-12 since apparently our food supply can be deficient in that B vitamin and she said she felt no energy boost from it though she admitted to never having thrown a fast ball over 25 mph.
And the Star link ..”probably be pretty good” ..was a contrast to the Press’ accounts that Childress was sitting on the fene about Old “throw it high” Jackson. Maybe St. Paul being further from the Dome keeps them out of the loop (but more in the know)
The 2007 version of Tecmo Super Bowl has Jackson down perfectly…lots of overthrown balls to open receivers, a decent amount of interceptions thrown in, and, when a receiver does catch the ball, they have to go to a cut-away like it was some amazing catch.
Purple Jesus is a beast in that game though. Makes up for the atrocious QB situation.
If Childress sticks with Jackson in 2008, both are gone in 2009.
Let it be written..
Let it be done…
Still makes more sense than anything Katherine Kersten writes.
Stu: +1
Katherine Kersten once wrote that Obama is one letter different from Osama
Actually she didn’t, but I actually heard a moron say that at the Maw of America…
I heard that, mother[redacted]. That [redacted] ain’t funny. Katherine Kersten’s a journalistic genius. (sniffs and wipes nose on sleeve)
Big Daddy Drew’s Jamboroo this week is fantastic. Particularly the Gametime Cheap Beer of the Week section…
http://deadspin.com/339634/these-ones-only-go-to-eleven-your-wild-card-jamboroo
Do not pass Go, if you don’t like bad language, or don’t like your boss reading bad language over your shoulder while your iPod/headphones distract you.
Ni!
(Sorry, but the photo required this.)
Kerstan ain’t no j.g. (jounalistic genius), since if she was a genius with the artful tools of syntanx, meaning and thought, would she be working on a dying medium like a newspaper ? (Wiping my eyes as I speak of the death of a literate nation.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..but there’s always American Idolatry)
Jon - Really, I thought the picture looked more like Torvald.
Victory!!!
How can Torvald not even know where he was born?
Stu gets my vote for his Kathleen Kerkkkstien reference.
Logan
Hello, I have a few websites of my own and I must say that your site is really top notch. Keep up the great work on a really high class resource.
Jack
The pen is really mightier than the sword, as you have proven here.
naked picture of wwe divas
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.
Freddie
Do you really believe what you write?
Aaron
I will dream of your poetic words tonight.
Wild Bill
I will dream of your poetic words tonight.
Allison Hannigan
This sure as heck beats reading Playboy in the dark wth a flashlight.
Aaron
On guard, you rascal!
Eric
Nice!
