COW Post: Fasolamatt solves local sports woes
Posted on January 7th, 2008 – 11:35 AMBy Michael Rand
He dazzles you with his daily links. And now he takes things a step further by becoming the first RandBall commenter to win the coveted COW by not only nominating himself but sending in a post to back it up. Ladies and others, Fasolamatt:
I nominate myself for COW, and here it is: The soundtrack for today’s COW entry can be found by clicking here. You will find my forecast for the McLovins this season repeated multiple times in the comments of this blog: 8-74, the worst record ever for an NBA regular season. It’s time to do to this team what the NBA did when the Cleveland Cavaliers were rotten in the early 80’s: force a sale and start over. Let’s review: Ted Stepien bought the Cavaliers in 1980, four years after the Miracle of Richfield had brought the franchise to respectability. By 1983, the team had changed coaches half a dozen times, traded away eight draft picks (four #1s), and went through a season where they used 23 different players. Stepien was forced to sell to George and Gordon Gund in 1983, and the team was awarded four compensatory first round draft picks as part of the sale. We won’t get into Stepien’s other problems, including the firing of Joe Tait (the best basketball announcer on radio, period), moving them to a weak radio frequency you couldn’t hear in most of the metro (ring a bell?), the change from the funky “C’mon Cavs” to the inane “Teddy Bear Polka” for a fight song, and yeah, I’ve only skimmed the surface. Glen Taylor and Kevin McHale have run the Timberwolves into the ground, forfeiting draft picks, signing guys to lousy contracts (ask a Cavs fan about Scott Wedman and Jerome Whitehead, and compare to any number of similar Wolves deals). They even have a lousy arena deal (compare to the Cavaliers barn in Richfield, Ohio (think, oh, Elk River). My solution: the Wild sell to Craig Leipold, a hockey guy from Racine, Wis., who owned the Nashville Predators until recently. The Wild ownership group buys the Wolves, moves them to St. Paul, extracts a couple of one below the lottery picks from the NBA, and hires someone who has no previous association with the Boston Celtics to run the basketball operations side. Sell Target Center to some megachurch operator who can fill the place on Sundays. It’s time to act, David Stern. Until then, the trip to Target Center will probably have to be for an awesome halftime show.
14 Responses to "COW Post: Fasolamatt solves local sports woes"
I laud Faso for his obviously arcane knowledge of this sport, but though rap is great music for working out, the sport of basketball itself..run and shoot north then run and shoot south.. last dunk wins.. reminds me too much of soccer with more scoring.
Some people (as in many) that I know like this sport. I’m just happy it comes in on my non cable tv on Ch. 45, my fuzziest channel. Many sports like football and b’ball are freak sports (though not baseball, hockey even soccer) but b’ball might set the pituitary standard. If I was commissioner, I’d handicap the biggest of the freaks by making the tallest wear the heaviest sneaks. But, like I said, I did enjoy Faso’s self pitch for COW though I keep forgetting what being that animal means other than being milked 
I think the Wolves should go in the opposite direction. What if they hired Isiah Thomas after he gets fired. McHale and Thomas can be co-GM/Coaches. I remember something in math class about two negatives equalling a positive. Wouldn’t this be the best way to theorize that hypothesis.
Until then, the trip to Target Center will probably have to be for an awesome halftime show.
You’re partly right, Jama, but it’s not two negatives equating to a positive but one negative multiplied by another that equates to a positive. What this means to this discussion is questionable other than I have a reputation of inane banter to live up to ……
^^^ Fixed for the video game generation
For the record, a McLovin halftime show last month actually featured members of the Sugarhill Gang. It’s not like your average Wolves fan is as old and decrepit as your average Gopher men’s hoops fan.
The Sugarhill Gang is old and decrepit, do they go to Gophers games?
My favorite youtube clip….My Countrymen lloking hot !!
It’s not like your average Wolves fan is as old and decrepit as your average Gopher men’s hoops fan.
Marthalter would respond angrily to that if wasn’t getting his hip replaced.
“if he wasn’t”
Stepping on my own punchlines, dammit.
Dave - Seek help immediately. Seriously, this Guitar Hero obsession of yours requires serious help.
Just think, if that kid spend half as much time learning how to play a real guitar as a fake one with plastic buttons, he could be a real hit at house parties.
A year ago(the last time I regularly looked and posted on this blog, albeit under another name that I don’t remember), I told everyone(and it was EVERYONE) who was saying that Kevin Garnett should be traded that Kevin McHale couldn’t make that trade because he’s the most retarded GM in sports. It would have been seemingly to easy to nab Amare Stoudemire and a draft pick in a fairly even one for one. No, he instead would make some bizarre million losers for KG trade. KG was the only respectability this franchise ever had. He needed to stay. This is the first time I’ve ever written about it, and I had to let the anger out. Sorry for the angry babbling.
Bravo, Faso!
I’m not even in your time zone and I can hear the McLovin bricks clanking against the rim. By the way, Paul Mokeski & Kenny Carr are available for all occasions. p.s. I still have my copy of the Sugar Hill 12″.
Buy Norm’s new album here.
