Yes, hello? Hello? Stupid phone. Let’s try this again. Still nothing. Wait! That gambling help line is missing a digit! It’s almost like they’re saying that it’s OK to go ahead and put some money down on next weekend’s NFL games! This is great news! Because we have a strong suspicion that all four favorites — all favored by more than a touchdown — are not only going to win, but cover next weekend. We really can’t remember a time when the four teams with byes were that much better than the four teams advancing. The exception is Jacksonville, and despite the trendiness of the Jaguars’ bandwagon, we don’t really think they have a chance to even stay within 12 of New England. The Chargers (+8) are taking the Phil Rivers show into a loud Dome. Good-bye. Eli Manning is destined to make at minimum two crippling throws at Dallas (-7.5). And the Seahawks (+8)? They can’t run the ball. That might be a problem during a January playoff game in Green Bay. Sorry, but the favorites are just too good this year. Might as well skip all the blowouts next weekend and start preparing your gambling strategy for the conference title games, which will be a lot more interesting. (Early RandBall guestimated point spreads: Take Green Bay +2 and New England -7). By the way, that phone number above is from an Australian ad, hence the difference. It’s less funny when explained, but still funnier than a lawsuit.

What else? Roger Clemens went blah blah blah last night (video here, but please first enjoy this ad for a teeth-whitening product). After a series of pinkie swears, Mike Wallace became convinced that the Rocket was telling the truth. Clemens unfortunately also left open the possibility that he would pitch again next year, which would be just awesome because then this stupid story would never go away. Then again, maybe he’d go 2-15 and make it all worthwhile. … The McLovins are now on pace for 9.94 victories, less than one whole number more than the record for futility in a season. Let’s peruse the upcoming schedule: home against Miami tomorrow night. A possible victory. If not, however: at Houston, at San Antonio, home for Golden State, at Phoenix, at Denver, at Golden State. Sounds like six losses. Should they also lose to Miami, they would be 4-36 and on pace for a little more than 8 victories. Wow.

Super-Rookie link we forgot last Friday!

Fasola-link! (He’s the COW, btw, and his post is upcoming).

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