Chestnuts roasting in a battery-powered warmth
Posted on January 9th, 2008 – 1:05 PMBy Michael Rand
In an attempt to please all of our demographics, we have the picture of Tom Brady (for AZ Gopher and any other ladies who would like to join the RandBall party), a second consecutive story about the Packers (for P3), and a story about warming the pants, which pretty much covers everyone else. From Packersnews.com (thanks to colleague Dean Spiros for the tip):
The temperature is expected to be in the mid-20s for Saturday’s NFC divisional playoff game at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, but that’s apparently too cold for Seattle Seahawks kicker Josh Brown. He plans to wear warmup pants with battery-powered heaters for his calves, thighs and hamstrings. Brown told Seattle radio station KIRO that his legs will be 75 degrees, even if it is in the 20s outside. He also said kickers spend most of the game on the sideline, so they have to work harder to stay loose in the cold by walking around, practicing kicks or using heaters. It’ll be mostly cloudy with a 20 percent chance of snow showers on Saturday, according to the National Weather Service office in Ashwaubenon. After a daytime high near 28 degrees, it’s expected to drop to about 17 overnight.
Yep, battery-powered pants. The Seahawks are for sure going to lose now, right?
33 Responses to "Chestnuts roasting in a battery-powered warmth"
After I saw that picture my body got all warm and tingly, then I remembered I had my warmup pants on high… Damn technology.
Rand
If this is a party, where is the booze? Once the booze is present I’m sure you know what comes next….
jama, you need to go to Eden Prairie High School to get booze at a party. However, everyone there just holds the booze and takes pictures…no one drinks it. And you can’t even prove that there is alcohol in the drinks.
That sounds dangerous to have that kind of electronics hooked up on your legs.
Did he buy this thing off the internet? Didn’t Uncle Rico already try this with skeptical results?
Do they keep his chestnuts warm too?
Don’t MAKE FUN OF KICKERS when they can do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEQRXzmgEAs
Josh Brown is my hero. Textbook Tackle.
Do they have a cooling model for the next time I’m at the State Fair and it’s getting a little swampy down there?
Sounds like the remote control vibrating panties.
Hope that got through the filter 
The filter must be down today, I got “assface” through in an earlier comment and it wasn’t even a Christopher Guest discussion.
I expect his pants to literally start on fire as he attempts a field goal in the 3rd quarter.
Wisconsinites may laugh, but when they offer a breathalyzer-powered snowmobile, guess who’s gonna be the first in line?
Ahh…I always have had a thing for quarterbacks. Except Favre. And Michael Vick. And Warren Moon. And Jeff Garcia (he’s just annoying).
Can’t Josh just bring a flask of schnapps like the rest of us do for cold games? Always keeps me warm and loose. (Dave, here’s your chance for payback.)
I just want to throw this out there for the ladies: it’s always 75 degrees and comfortable in my pants as well.
I’ll just throw out a word that seems to make pretty much everyone uncomfortable
moist
I think danonymous’s “swampy” is the new moist.
I must have missed that one. I will use “swampy” from here on out. Or to change it up a bit, “boggy”.
Personally, I like “moist” though it’s the kiss of death to ever say it. Women HATE it ….don’t know why, but is wet better ?
Anyway, when I was young and dumb (younger and dumber, that is) I lived in Breckenridge Co. for two winters after college and skied at Copper Mtn pretending to be a ski bum. Anyway, I purchased and still have not the whole ensemble this kicker has of heated pants etc. but heated insoles for my ski boots…no more than 1/8 inch max or less..battery operated. They worked so well I couldn’t reach down and switch them on in the chalet or anywhere else unless I was already in the snow otherwise my feet got too hot. I loved them, but I wish it was much colder this weekend to meet the seahwaks since everyone knows hawks don’t fly in the cold..
How about humid, drizzly or the ever present ..Triple D ..dank, dark, damp
I’ll just throw out a word that seems to make pretty much everyone uncomfortable
moist
+2!
“We want the pants, and we’re going to score!”
danonymous
Do you have problems with smalls, swass or both? There is a female version of swampiness but I better not go there!
I thought “swampiness” WAS the female condition. Not a nice adjective maybe, but what it is describing is quite nice indeed so let’s not lose the forest through the p.c. trees…but, personally, I have heard women use “wet” more than anything else, yet at that moment, I wouldn’t care if they called it Niagara, since it’s just words..:)
We want the pants, and we’re going to score
If Danonymous wasn’t already planning his COW acceptance speech, I’d say that the above was the funniest thing I’d read all week.
I just want to throw this out there for the ladies and the curious male: it’s always 75 degrees and comfortable in my pants as well.
Fixed to reflect the new Sensitivity Guidelines in Section 7 of the Strib’s new HR Handbook, We’re Just Doing This to Piss Off Tom Barnard.
Doesn’t take much to piss off that pompous wheezing dirtbag…I luv how he always talks tough …growing up in the Cities ! I think he listened to West Side Story way too much back then …loser he be
RandBall: Where Swampy Is The New Moist
I guess that would have to be a wet t-shirt.
fasolamatt: +1
Which brings up a good point - are the RandBall Ts going to be white for maximum see-through-ability when wet? Just asking.
The questions only AZGopherGirl can ask…
And she does! We’re lucky to have her here.
Just read this on a ESPN article about how the Jags will beat the Pats:
“Teams that can run the ball don’t get blown out.”
Rat piss.
Moist rat piss.
(aside: Is a redundancy like “moist piss” allowed when cussing? Do grammar rules apply in general when you are P3/cussing?)
I know, my comment didn’t apply in any way to the other comments on this thread. Really, I was just testing to see if ‘ESPN’ would get through the filter.
Let’s take up a collection and get Freddy Cox and Jim Marshall sideline passes so they could stand next to Josh Brown the whole game and giggle at him.
If Bud Grant were in town he’d shoot Josh Brown. And then he would eat him. Because Bud eats what he kills.
“We want the pants, and we’re going to score.” I read right over that the first time. Top 10 all-time comment.
just got back from an afternoon of ..(shopping ! yikes ) with a group of friends and I told them of our search for enlightenment concerning the female condition and one came up with this….”glistening” !! I sorta like it
Thanks for sharing
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
