Dollars to donuts: A meditation
Posted on January 18th, 2008 – 2:50 PMBy Michael Rand
This is something we’ve been thinking about quite a bit the past few days, which we understand is an indictment in and of itself. But then Fasolamatt sent us this link; and then we wrangled a free donut at a morning meeting today (our first such pastry in a while), and we decided it was time to let the world in on our internal monologue. So: Who is familiar with the expression, “I’ll bet you dollars to donuts?” Everyone? Well, in case you’re not, it’s an expression that dates back more than 100 years, and we can all agree that it essentially means, when you say it, that you are so sure of something that you would wager your dollars against someone else’s donuts that “thing X” is true. The implication, of course, is that the person putting up the donuts is getting quite a deal. You’re wagering some real money; all he or she is doing is offering up a donut. But here’s the thing: Over the course of more than 100 years, inflation has taken its toll. So, too, has the notion of fancying up things that should be pure and simple. The U.S. dollar? Not so strong. These days, we’re not so sure the person betting the dollars isn’t trying to pull a fast one. Dollars to donuts, you say? What about donuts that are $2 apiece even when you buy them by the dozen? Frankly, we think this expression needs to be reversed. The person who is so [redacted] sure of themselves needs to say, “I’ll bet you donuts to dollars …” because that’s where the real value is.
With that in mind, if we were a bettin’ man, we’d bet you donuts to dollars that the Patriots and Packers each win by at least 11 points this weekend; the Patriots, in fact, will win by at least 17. Both will cover. Roughkat/Rupert wonders this: does the casual Vikings fan want the Giants to win because they hate Green Bay, or do they want the Packers to win because it will theoretically set up a better Super Bowl? Our choice? Door No. 3: We want the Packers to win so that they will lose in the Super Bowl. But that’s just us. (By the way, let’s not forget that the Giants played the Patriots very tough late in the season … they could give them a run).
In any event: Dollars, donuts and this weekend’s games: Discuss.
24 Responses to "Dollars to donuts: A meditation"
MMMMmmmmm… donuts. [/homer]
Brady! Favre! It’s the Verbal Mouthifacation Bowl for announcers.
Time for more than just a one-liner…
Patriots - I want to see the Patriots win and go 19-0. We won’t have to hear about about the Dolphins and their annual cork popping activities. Well actually, we probably will just because of cameragate. I’d also like to see Moss get a ring.
Chargers - It’d be great to see LT2 in the Super Bowl. Sadly, I’d be surprised if he ever makes it. Makes it kind of difficult to be the best ever. After reading that Norv Turner stays on 16 from the Sports Guy, it’s hard to take him seriously.
Giants - I want to see Eli cry. Is that going too far? Giants fans tend to be Yankee fans and I can’t support anything they do. I also don’t think any team that the Vikings beat this year should be in the Super Bowl. That’s an automatic DQ. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Packers - If Favre and Brady are in the Super Bowl, I think it will be like the Hogan/Rock WWF match. The Handing of the Torch. As everyone knows, The Rock won and Hogan went away…mostly.
Therefore, I want a Patriots-Packers final game with the Patriots winning.
Both will cover.
No. I’ll even give you a solid answer as opposed to last week’s vague, if correct, prediction: neither team will cover.
And I always want Green Bay to lose. Always.
In favor of Pats over GB in the superbowl. Mostly b/c I think it’d be a quality game, fun to watch, and it’d mean something to watch a semi-local team playing. NYG vs SD? Could it get less meaningful? Not to me.
I thought dollars to donuts was using a donut to represent a zero. Wasn’t it originally spelled “doughnuts”? And maybe that was shortened from “dough-naught”? I’m making this up, but bear with me, it’s a zero (ie naught) made of dough, right? So the saying would be “I’ll put my money up, you put up nothing, and I’ll still take the bet.” Far fetched, sure, but I’ll stand by it since I made it up.
New England will cover, Green Bay will not. I see New England absolutely obliterating the Chargers, with the only question being does the defense outscore the offense. Green Bay will win, but the Giants will keep it close with their running game.
Patriots-Packers in the Super Bowl, which I might even watch this year.
I say doughnuts, you say donuts. Your way further encourages the bastardization of the English language.
I must again point out door number 4: you want the Packers to win the Super Bowl in the hopes that it strokes Brett’s ego into retirement, where in the best case scenario, you would only see him in non-speaking Wranglers ads.
This is not particularly interesting (then again, that’s how I roll with most of my posts), but it’s an article in the AZ paper focusing on Maroney. Good to see a Gopher homie get some press.
http://www.azcentral.com/sports/superbowl/articles/0117patriots.html
Pats-Pack = one of the best Super Bowls in years !….two of the best qbs ever to come down the pike (another ancient phrase..mid 1900s)
Who watches Superbowls for the defense anyway (where did good D, for example, ever get the Vikings any way 
)
(OFFTOPIC)
I assume Marthaler’s busy, so I figured I’d step in and let everyone know that Chance Myers went first in today’s Major League Soccer Superdraft. I did not see that coming.
(/OFFTOPIC)
I think it’s basically a hate G. Bay deal. I mean it’s like a East-West Civil War instead of a North-South. But think of it, think of the legends of Lambeau, the legend of Lombardi. Will the mini-legend of a stoic right wing Grant possessing no Superbowl wins last the test of time as Lombardi has ? No wonder then the seething jealousy Viking fans feel at this moment. For myself, I’m sorry (I’m not) your season stunk, but all I can say is “Get over it”, since the Vikes will rise and fall again next year..Count on it..
For scientific purposes, this is pretty much what the Brady/Favre Super Bowl will be like.
AZGG: I originally had doughnuts, but the spellcheck preferred donuts. Who knew?
If Rivers can play the way he played against the Colts, I can see the game being close. That being said, do I think the Chargers can win…[redacted] no but I dont think they will lose by more than 14. On the NFC side, Packers, Giants, Lambeau Field, January, temperature at kickoff at or around 0. Give me the Pack to cover.
Rupert- Nice analogy comparing the (tentative) Super Bowl featuring the Pats and the Pack to Hogan/Rock - well done.
AZGG: If not spelling color “colour” or flavor “flavour”, or favorite “favourite” makes me guilty of bastardization of the English language, I’ll proudly claim that child out of wedlock.
But will you pay your child support, Dave (aka baby’s daddy)?
I agree with you. I’m talking American English, not the Queen’s English. (Though I’m quite fond of the word bollocks; a nice alternative to that-which-shall-not-be-named-if-you-want-to-attract-more-Lady-Randballers.)
how about “odor” or “odour ? I got that from Phat’s bio….
that-which-shall-not-be-named-if-you-want-to-attract-more-Lady-Randballers
Paulos?
?
I wonder how many Lady Randballers there are in here ?? Wondering simply on a idle research basis only, of course…
P3 - you use your right or left hand for that???
Sorry if that was too far. I’m a big Stand By Me fan.
Terrible typist am I…I use only left and right side index fingers…I took a typing course once…forget it all in 6 mos…still pretty fast am I, typing that is..
still pretty fast am I, typing that is
P3, is either channeling Yoda or Jacques Lemaire…I can’t decide.
Remember channeling ? I’m doing it right now..into your p.c. Turn it off quickly !!!
