The Internets: Roger Clemens’ “adjustments”
Posted on January 28th, 2008 – 11:37 AMBy Michael Rand
Well, you have to hand it to Roger Clemens’ agent: he’s not lazy. He’s released a 49-page, 18,000-word statistical rebuttal in an attempt to refute the Mitchell Report’s claim that Clemens took steroids or HGH a minimum of 16 times between 1998 and 2001, a time frame that roughly coincides with the Rocket’s revival. As we don’t have time to read the whole thing, we’ll boil it down to what we believe to be its essence: “Blah blah blah blah split-fingered fastball.”
*The Orioles might be getting close to trading lefty Erik Bedard to the Mariners, perhaps a bonus for the Twins in their quest to deal Johan Santana seeing as how Bedard wouldn’t be going to one of their three targeted trade partners.
*Apparently some women are hired for Super Bowl parties to stand there and look good. AZGopherGirl passes along this story and suggests we try it at the next Redactular.
*Behold, the Water Cube.
6 Responses to "The Internets: Roger Clemens’ “adjustments”"
Well, you have to hand it to P3’s agent: he’s not lazy. He’s released a 49-page, 18,000-word statistical rebuttal in an attempt to refute the commenters of RandBall and their “colossal stupidity”
Fixed.
“I do love that rap music. It move me like the prune”..and I do love that P3 too, since if something need be said, no matter how long it takes to be said, he’s the man. After all, did you want the Constitution reduced to “SuperBowls Greatest Commercials” just so you could understand it ?
No, brevity is for the feeble of mind, and hiring good looking girls to just stand around ? Duh, is that a surprise ? The only reason women make radio or newspeople reporters is that no on CAN see them then..who wants uglies selling Bud…pleeze..
The guy who narced on many of these athletes for ‘roid use is coming off like a bonafide dirtball the more interviews he does (or his hired lawyers do but that means zip since lawyers are paid only to win not ferret out truth, thus a bounty on them in the chaos of a future culture gone sane, but I digress)
Anyway, I started off not believing Clemens but everything he said is true ..like the shortening and tightening of ligaments and tendons with steroid use etc. so now, to risk great humiliation on these pages (duh, what’s new) I think I believe him…(there, Dave, not too many words, ay)
If Clemens’ longevity was simply fueled by his adjustments, his trainer should be making millions helping other aging pitchers continue their career. Oh wait. Didn’t his trainer say he injected him with steroids? Hmm, maybe his trainer’s methods needs a few adjustments as well.
the trainer was whacked….on tv he seemed so jacked, an excitable youth. I suspect drugs, though I always say that
So now we know what AZGopherGirl is doing this week.
